Maybe, it's what's on the outside that counts

Tuesday, I noted all of the things we can say “hello” to this fall. Sadly, there’s also a fall goodbye. It turns out “What Not to Wear” is ending its run. If I’m being honest I didn’t even know the show was still taping new shows. And yet somehow when I heard (via The Post) that it was going to be over I was a little sentimental…funny how that works.

If you’re not familiar with WNTW, it was sort of the first of the reality makeover shows. The focus is on clothing and guests who are the ultimate fashion don’ts come to NYC wearing their mom jeans, shoulder padded suits or rainbow awesomeness (above). Hosts Clinton Kelly (perhaps you know him from The Chew) and Stacy London then act as clothing tutors. There's a whole new wardrobe, hair and makeup and the teary reveal. But I’ve always felt it was about more than outfits.

The article I read described the final episode where guests would come back and discuss their lives since they left the show.  “They’ve gotten the confidence to leave toxic relationships. They’ve lost a significant amount of weight. They’ve gotten jobs they never thought possible.”

I see this pattern everyday. Weight loss can sound like a fluffy topic. I don’t think I could get up everyday if my biggest accomplishment was helping someone lose a few pounds but there’s more to it. Making a change to our clothing or our weight seems superficial but is indicative of something more. When you decide to change habits or invest time and energy on yourself it’s not about aesthetics alone. Sometimes even when nutrition visits are vanity driven clients will start to derive pleasure from cooking or feel calmer and then parent differently. And yes, changes to your eating can lead to changes with work or relationships as mentioned above. So if it’s less daunting to address what you wear or what you weigh, start there…maybe your ‘insides” will follow.

Do you feel superficial changes can lead to deeper ones? Do you like “What Not to Wear”? Do you ever like the before or "don't" photos? I like rainbow lady, makes me smile.

Is Age a Blessing or a Bitch?

My sister recently had a “big” birthday. Leading up to her birthday, I pressed my mother, sisters and sister’s boyfriend to make plans. Should we have a party? Go away? Chip in for a present? Compulsive planners need to know.  Word was that she wasn't thrilled about her birthday and didn't didn’t want a fuss made. I found that so silly; birthdays are blessings.We are all lucky just to be here.  My sister and I both have friends we have lost who haven’t made it to celebrate these days. I joked with my sister’s boyfriend, “so you guys are old, what’s the big deal?” He said he’d check in with me with my time came and we could talk further.

I’m still in my 30s and though I’ve seen those changes that everyone warned me happen at that 35 mark (seems previously "good" parts become cause for concern and "bad" parts remain trouble areas) until recently age wasn’t something I worried about. Perhaps one can only stress and overthink so many things. I have always felt it’s not so much age but the place you are in. I have a career I enjoy, a loving family and I’m healthy (knocking desk).

Well that uncharacteristically grounded thinking was shattered last weekend. We went to dinner at Marble Lane at the Dream Hotel. 

After a delicious meal, we stepped outside to get a taxi.  We stood on the curb as my friend’s husband hailed a cab. After a couple of minutes, three 20-something girls in napkin-sized dresses charged in front (regretfully no photo snapped). Presuming “innocence” he said, “we’re already waiting but you can grab the next taxi.” They weren’t happy, rolled their eyes and said something to the effect of “whatever”.  At first I didn’t react; I was too busy taking in the outfit choices. 

 My Friend: “Is there a problem? Why the comments?”

Napkin Dress: “Oh my god, why don’t you act your age.”

 My Friend: “Excuse me, did you say act your age, not a problem if you can act over 3.”

Neon Yellow Napkin Dress:  “Seriously- you guys are too old to be here.”

That was it, I couldn’t hold back, she called me old and I had a martini in my system.

Me: “Even when I was 20, I wouldn’t go out with my titties on full display. Plus, there's something called manners.”

There were a few more comments, in a desperate attempt to prove she wasn’t a whore, yellow napkin told us she worked in finance. I may have inquired if she interviewed in that dress, fortunately we were soon in the taxi. We joked about what transpired but I looked at my friends and said, “do you think we were too old to be there?”

I wish I could say I forgot about the Saturday night skirmish but I woke up thinking about it. I went to workout and afterward walked down the street fair on Columbus.  A large sign “Organic Skincare” caught my eye. I chatted up the owner of the company about ingredients and such and asked, “What product would you suggest I start with?” She handed me this

“Mature Serum?” I asked.

“Don’t mind the name” she replied detecting my disappointment “it’s great at any age.”

And so I did what any insulted and panicked person would do, I said “oh sure, I understand, I’ll take it.”

We ended up having a “non birthday” dinner and chipping in for a special present for my sister. Despite her misgivings she was really touched.  I realize we all view age in different ways and you never know when it’ll seem like a blessing or when it’ll be a bitch.

Do you see age as a blessing or a bitch? What would you have done if confronted by the napkin trio? Have you ever been hurt by anyone commenting on your age? 
Congratulations to our Indian Cookbook winners Kristen "swankydietitian" and Marie

I am not this person.

In a massive case of Spring-cleaningitis, I initiated a major kitchen purge. Dishes, serving trays, pantry contents and spices were removed from their homes so that I could decide what stayed and what went. What stuck me most, other than the fact that most people probably don’t have 15 varieties of salt and 4 types of cinnamon, was the items in my possession that do not reflect my style or who I am;  the majority of these things were acquired from my bridal registry.  I’ve always had simple, modern taste but I guess at 23 (yikes) when I got married I assumed that you have kids and you learn to like fussy crystal. It hasn’t happened yet and I can say with conviction, it never will. And then last week, my son had a sleepover with a couple of friends. In my head, I want to be the mom who can have a million kids over messing everything up without me batting an eye or in my case raising her voice. I do love guests but I’m way too anal to roll with all the punches. It’s just not who I am. I will have you over, feed you well but it’s all planned out and when things don’t go as anticipated, watch out.

So the question is, do we “know thyself” for who we are, in my case impatient and anti-crystal, or do we try to nudge ourselves in a different direction? These are insignificant examples but I confront food-related versions of this with clients all the time. If someone tells me they hate exercise, I’ll often suggest a nonthreatening amount to embark on but an incident with a friend made me rethink things.

Marc and I were at an event last Wednesday.  During dinner, someone we know really well sat down with us. This woman is thin, beautiful and always put together but we’ve never talked nutrition in the 18 years I’ve known her. She sat next to me and said “I stopped drinking soda and cut out sugar completely, I don’t even want it anymore. “ She was on a roll and proceeded to tell me all these sweeping changes she had made with her diet, her enthusiasm left me excited for her.  Had she been a client in my office I would never have proposed as many concurrent changes as she undertook on her own.

So while my life will not be significantly different based on my choice of serving pieces, I don’t think acquiescing and accepting our habits is always the answer. Sometimes sweeping changes work quite well. Non-exercisers can run marathons and meat and potatoes people may love green juice. Don’t rule it out.

Are you a fan of slow and steady change or major shifts? Did you register of items you never use? What would I be surprised about if we emptied all your kitchen cabinets?

Full disclosure, the bowl above belonged to my Grandmother but I only realized that after writing the post. And I am aware of the weird font, blogger is very uncooperative today (some things do not change).