It didn't shrink in the wash (and it isn't the dry cleaner's fault)

Yesterday, as my boys (sons, husband, dog) set up their man cave for an afternoon of football (not even football but Redzone which is pretty much ADD football), I saw my opening and left the apartment. I could've left without any of them noticing but I said goodbye. "Where are you going" my husband asked in the way you ask a question when you don't really care if there's an answer. I said "I'm not sure".  While the possibilities were endless, I opted for a manicure and pedicure with a friend. Can I really critique my guys when I pretty much did the female version of Sunday football? Sure I can.

Anyway, we picked our colors "don't pretzel my buttons" and "partner in crime" in case you're like me and select colors based on names. Truth be told, I am only at the nail salon for the massage (15 additional minutes on both feet and hands). My friend and I started catching up. My anonymous friend mentioned an equally anonymous family member who upon trying on her jeans remarked "these shrunk in the wash." As she recounted this, anony friend rolls her eyes and we both cracked up. "It's never really the wash" said friend "or the dry cleaner" I added. Yes, yes clothing shrinks and if your dry fit tee looks like it can fit a first grader- dryer culpa. But the five minutes most of us have our jeans on "dewrinkle" doesn't make them tight.  OK?

Post pedi I realized the first football game wasn't even over. I can't even dawdle when I try. So anony (and fun) friend said, "they're watching football, let's get a beer". I agreed to a gluten free (Estrella) beer and we sat outside a cafe. This was such a nice break from kitchen cleaning, week planning and all the other sucky Sunday stuff I typically do. I could've been on vacation and yet I was 2 blocks from home. Friend, so you know she isn't just honest to her family members, says "as I sit here with you I can feel my jeans pushing into my fat." My advice to her "you have to keep wearing those jeans, not as a torture device, but the second you give up on the fat-pushing pants it's pretty much game over." Another laugh and because I had zero confidence my three guys would remember that even though they had no need to go out, the dog (Bronco- like the Denver Broncos) did, I went home.
P.S. Nothing makes me feel more full and gross than beer.
Have you blamed the wash or the cleaners? Think you should wear clothing even if it's borderline? What would you have done with a free afternoon?

How are those white jeans fitting?

I thought the can’t wear white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day rule didn’t hold anymore. Sure there may be a few people who got this memo but not many according to Instagram. As I scrolled through my account this weekend, there were swarms of ladies in their stark white jeans. I didn’t wear white jeans this weekend but since it has been some time since I donned my pallid pants, I pulled them off my closet shelves to try them on.

I own three pair of white jeans. I put on the first. I’m sure many women like their jeans snug or form fitting but I’m not one of them. At a store where I shop at they joke that I like everything a size too big. I would say most people like things a size too small. I can guarantee the first pair I slipped (or pulled on with some effort) was the result of boutique peer pressure and I’m pretty sure I have never worn them out. In this Goldilocks of white jeans story the next pair was baggie and probably not the most flattering. And that third pair? It was the best of the three. Nothing needs to be sucked in and yet they would be suitable for going out to dinner.

To tell you the truth I get more excited about a summery dress than something I wear all year round in another color.  But white is de rigueur in summer  (which makes me like it less) so I did a little digging. While many fashion experts claim white doesn’t necessarily make you look heavier, I have multiple sources saying it’s less forgiving. There are a lot of theories about no white after Labor Day/only in summer ranging from white looks better when you are a little tan, white is difficult to keep clean and so with furnaces and fireplaces didn’t make sense. Who knows? All I know is chances are many of you pulled out and pulled on those white jeans this weekend, how’d it go?

Do you own white jeans? Do you use them to see how you feel body-wise? Are white jeans the new skinny jeans? Do you wear white pants all year round?

Reference Jeans and Fat Clothes

I couldn't find a photo of the gold dress.

I am not one of those people who can tell you what I weighed at various milestones in my life. I could tell you what I wore. Growing up, my mother delighted in helping me select clothing for special occasions. In rare moments of adolescent appreciativeness, I recall feeling so grateful that she’d go to whatever store I chose after a long workday to ensure I had what I felt I needed. So despite the fact that I’m not that much of a shopper, I love something new for a vacation, party or even important work event. I could tell you about the puffy gold (yes gold) dress my “friend” talked me into for our shared sweet 16 party; friend’s dress was sleek and sexy and though not dress-related we’re no longer friends. There was also the pink number I wore to my college graduation dinner at Emeril’s and the green sundress for the brunch the morning after my rainy wedding. Fashion blunders aside, when I think back I can also pinpoint exactly how I felt in these outfits.

Chances are, most of you can name the articles of clothing you sported when you felt your best. We also have outfits for our less than stellar days. Clothing plays an interesting role when you’re loosing weight.  One client, we’ll call J (for jeans), told me at our initial session that she wanted her “reference jeans” to fit again.  A month into our weekly meetings, I inquired about the jeans and J told me “not there yet”.  A month later I was informed, “we’re making progress”.  Weeks passed and finally J bounded into my office “I can get them on, the reference jeans zip…but they’re not suited for outdoor use yet.” I cracked up knowing exactly what she meant. Fitting and being wearable are not the same thing. Then, not long after the jeans zipped, J made a decision. It had been so many years since she wore them and she just didn’t like the reference jeans any more.

Sometimes we hang onto clothing because there’s sentimental value and other times there’s the hope that we’ll fit into it again. Like J, another client who’s losing weight had a plan as she started fitting into things again. She told me she’d get rid of items once they fit but only after she had the chance to wear them once. Again, it I wasn’t so much the actual fashion of these items but the size reference.  And while we all have skinny jeans or smaller sizes, there are also the fat clothes. I returned to work fairly soon after having each of my boys. One of the many joys of owning your own business is that there is no paid leave. There was no way in hell I was going back into my office in maternity clothes so I bought a few pair of pants in a larger size. I saved those pants and would slip into them long after whenever I was feeling pudgy. The last thing I want is anything close to my body when the bloat monster attacks.

I thought most people were like me and wore larger clothes when they felt blechy and smaller clothes as confidence increased but a session yesterday showed me this wasn’t always the case. This client, “T” said “when the scale is up I wear my tightest clothes to remind myself I want them looser.” I said, “so you torture yourself into eating better?” Wow, I wonder what she thinks about when looking back. Perhaps it’s something like “I remember that outfit, I couldn’t breathe at all in it.” T would probably like J's reference jeans.

Do you have any reference items of clothing? What are your memories when you recall feeling your most confident or fit? What do you wear when you’re feeling a little larger? And can you believe I wore a gold puffy dress? So sad.