In order to be beautiful cease all efforts to improve yourself

I am not writing about Gwyneth again but this story starts with her. Simon Doonan (perhaps you’ll recall his hilarious book Gay Men Don’t Get Fat) took issue with People calling Gwyneth the most beautiful woman in the world or “MBWITW” and it’s not because he doesn’t think she’s beautiful. Rather, Doonan suggests, via Slate,  that efforts to improve your looks actually detract from beauty.

Her strenuous efforts to achieve perfection—thrashing around a gym morning noon and night with Tracy Anderson and eating nothing but plankton and kale juice—leave us all shrieking, “What would she look like if you took away her battery of Pilates gurus and aura cleansers?

I’ll answer Doonan’s question, she’d still look great. Or let’s ask Doonan how he’d look without a shower, haircut or the great looks he puts together for Barney’s. Perhaps when women discuss their regimes, something I applaud, it takes away from the mystique but even if it doesn’t involve kale or exercise, most women have beauty rituals. Even Liz Taylor and Catherine Deneuve who Doonan feel were worthy of MBWITH status didn’t roll out of bed looking like that, please.

I’d argue that in order to be crowned the most beautiful woman in the world, you should be living your life full-throttle rather than tormenting yourself with some deranged, ascetic self-maintenance regimen. Non?

Part of me can see where Doonan is going with this. There is nothing more beautiful that someone, seemingly carefree, enjoying their life. However, why is it assumed that exercise involves torment? Personally, I feel more deranged when I’m off my “regimen” than on it. Is Doonan talking about his image of an ideal woman? It doesn’t seem he’s talking about real women, that’s for sure.

And Doonan doesn’t stop, for someone who feels beauty should be effortless, he sure has a lot of prerequisites. After fashion week he remarked:

But the most beautiful woman in the world should also have a cheeky demeanor and a decent rack. Sadly, these two attributes were in short supply.

The Slate article closes with Doonan’s request for entries into his MBWITW contest. I wish I was capable of illustration because the woman Doonan describes is a cartoon character with a rack and a smile, living her life full throttle. She’s not just beautiful but “the most beautiful” and achieving this status is effortless. She’s accepting the “pat on the head” and “goody bag” Doonan is offering as MBWITW.  I don’t know about you but all of this makes me want to go out for a run and if that makes me ugly and ascetic- awesome.

What do you think makes a woman beautiful? Why do you think exercise and food regimes, to the uninitiated, seem torturous? Do you think most women, even if they don't discuss it, have beauty or food systems?

Gwyneth, ignore the haters It's All Good

All "good" except annoying dotted line on the right

When it comes to celebrities, we all have someone who rubs us the wrong way and our own personal pet peeves. She may be a nice person but Daphne Oz’s stance as a nutrition expert, Paula Deen’s attempt to kill us and then save us, Kim Kardashian’s…everything all get under my skin. Oh and let’s not forget celebs who try to sell things in a sneaky manner (um Kirstie), celebs who are full of themselves (Reece), anyway those are my main gripes (or the ones that come to mind). But Gwyneth? I kind of like her and really like her new cookbook It’s All Good.  

Maybe I’m an elitist. A write-up in Bittman’s column says Gwyneth’s book makes it seem that “healthy eating is just for the wealthy”. And Yahoo did some very questionable math claiming that it would cost $300/day to eat as Gwyneth does.What Yahoo left out is many of us have maple syrup, salt and vinegar at home and if you want to stock your pantry surely you know that will benefit you and your family for more than one day. For example, when making the Old Bay Fish Fingers they tabulated to come in at over $70 (if you needed mustard and salt), I only had to buy lemon sole. It was twenty-something dollars but it fed our family and another child staying for dinner.  And fashion magazines have purses for 10,000 dollars, is it that offensive if Gwyneth lists her favorite brand of gluten free flour ($20 for three pounds)?

Fish fingers with elitist condiments Miso Mayo and Fancy Ketchup

To be fair, I could do without the justification or dramatization used as the rationale for many of the foods in this book. Gwyneth described a migraine that felt like a stroke and her son’s horrible eczema, cue doctor who told her to eliminate all these things from her diet.  And then there’s Goop, GP’s weekly newsletter.  Many people love to hate it too. Not me. I can read about a $130 “Montecito Margarita” with zero plans to ever buy it….that doesn’t mean I couldn’t try to replicate it at home with the  Don Julio Real Añejo Tequila and Grand Marnier 150th Anniversary mentioned .

Those dishing out G-hate also go after the foods mentioned in this book saying things like it shuns “everything good”.  Well how about the Paleo diet nothing packaged, no grains, no legumes it’s sold millions of copies. This is essentially a gluten free premise. If anything I would think everyone testing out juice cleanses and vegan regimes would be intrigued.  In my experience people like to experiment with cutting things out. Crushable said “each page reeks with condescension and pretension toward us mere mortals who can’t afford the made-up foods of Gwynethland and occasionally splurge on something deep-fried”.  I’m trying to figure out what was made up in these Tandoori Kabobs my family loved. Chicken, spices and yogurt don’t seem too far-fetched. And if you want to splurge on fries, why are you blaming Gwyneth (who likes to splurge on bread and cheese so I hear).

Gwyneth’s mistake may be sharing, Blisstree certainly wants her to stop

“When you talk about what you eat in every single interview you do, you’re perpetuating the idea that women should be constantly concerned with, constantly monitoring, what they eat” Here’s the thing, first of all many women are concerned and monitoring and open to a few tips. Second, it’s hard to promote a cookbook without talking food. As far as G's 2-hour workouts, I’ve touched on that in an earlier team G post saying

Every woman can make the time to eat well or exercise. Sure, it may be easier with a trainer and a chef but at the end of the day it comes down to determination and motivation whether you’re a celebrity mom or more like me. If money was the deciding factor Oprah would be waifish and I love Oprah but she’s shown us that wealth doesn’t necessarily govern weight.

And maybe it’s best Gwyneth talks about salmon and smoothies. Chelsea Handler (like her too) had Gwyneth on as a guest and offered this.

"She's an amazing advice-giver," Handler said, relating an anecdote from a recent dinner party. "One of her friends is like 'I got into a big fight with my husband and I went home and I just wanted to scream and yell.' And you were like, 'whatever you're doing, do the opposite. If you feel angry, go at him with love and you give him a b---j--.'"

So are you more comfortable with GP dishing out this last tip (which in most cases is free people) or can we go back to gluten?

Which celebs do you love to hate on? What are your thoughts on Gwyneth? Have to seen the cookbook? Would you buy it?

Red Carpet Blues, Do You Feel Lied To?

I look amazing but do you know what it takes to look this thin in white?

“Watching these spectacles are a bit like eating a hot fudge sundae... delicious while eating it but you might feel a bit sick afterwards.”

Did you watch the Oscars last night and if so do you feel sick? The quote above is actually from Psychology Today and references a principle called the Social Comparison Theory. It turns out there is scientific backing for your “sickness”. The theory goes that in watching these award shows one can’t help but think about the glitz and glamour involved and feel a little inferior. It’s also the reason why many get a little thrill from the fashion flops, makes us feel a little better.

Love Billy but proof that women aren't the only one with hair/makeup/surgical? people

When I’m getting caught up, what makes me feel better (not that I don’t love a fashion blunder) is the effort involved. I asked my friends fab facialist Joanna Czech (clients include Kyra Sedgwick, Kate Winslet) and author and style expert Amy Tara Koch  about the red carpet process. They confirmed that it does in fact take a village, and months of preparation, to preen a celebrity. From their experience you have:

1-2. skin care goddess-esthetician or dermatologist

3. stylist for right dress, shoes and jewels

4. A-list hairdresser

5-6. nutritionist  or chef

7. trainer

8. manicurist

9. makeup artist

9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18. many of them with assistants

19, 20, 21 And of course PR and personal assistant(s) of the star
Twenty one people around while you get ready? 

This must-watch clip was for a print ad not red carpet but sums this process up well.

You watch someone go from plain to perfect via hair (and hair extensions), make-up and of course retouching. The clip takes about 30 seconds to watch and is slightly off-putting. While many of us relate to the person who sits down in the chair, she looks nothing like the person at the end. It’s reminiscent of when Oprah would bravely come on air sans makeup. As I watched the video this I can see how people feel there’s a little deception involved.

But is it lying? If people were food products and they were manipulated to appear completely differently than what I could purchase in the store I would think so. Photoshopping may be more extreme than primping. The American Medical Association adopted a policy on body image and advertising urging advertisers and others to “discourage the altering of photographs in a manner that could promote unrealistic expectations of appropriate body image.”

And it’s not just photoshopping. Remember the Victoria’s Secret model discussing her pre-show food plan. I shouldn’t call it a food plan because it’s comprised of over a week of protein shakes and twice daily workouts. Eventually she’s pulls the shakes to “dry out” before the show. I don’t know how common or uncommon this is. I know she was honest or foolish enough to mention it. She did caution young girls to “not try this at home”; I can guarantee you many did just the opposite.

Watching red-carpet events, fashion shows or reading magazines has different effects on people. Joanna summed it up well saying “I believe some people feel insecure and some inspired”.

Do you think there’s a degree of deception in all that’s involved to be red-carpet ready? Did you watch last night? Do you feel sick today? Any flops you want to mention?

Gwyneth: not every woman

Last week, I was aimlessly reading tweets when something caught my eye and my interest. This is not a direct quote but the tweet said something to the effect of “Gwyneth tells moms to lose weight, moms tell Gwyneth to shut up” or something similarly harsh. Curious beyond belief I clicked the link. I was directed to a website fittingly called The Stir and a piece scolding Gwyneth Paltrow regarding comments she had made about losing baby weight. Gwyneth had discussed with a UK writer
the trouble she had losing weight after the birth of her second child, Melon, I mean Moses. The Stir’s writers’ main gripe, and there were many, was in response to the quote below:
"Every woman can make time -- every woman -- and you can do it with your baby in the room," she said. "There have been countless times where I've worked out with my kids crawling around all over the place. You just make it work, and if it's important to you, it'll be important to them."

The source of the outrage stemmed primarily from the use of “every woman". On the attack, the writer detailed all the ways in which Gwyneth wasn’t like “every woman.” Everything from Gwyneth’s predisposition to thinness to her tiny and talented trainer was picked apart making a pretty good case for the fact that Gwyneth is indeed different from most of us. Surprised? Of course you’re not. Gwyneth is tall as a tree, comes from a Hollywood family, is married to a rock star, has unlimited funds at her disposal and could not be more different from “every woman” which is exactly why practically every woman reading The Stir or Huffington Post wanted to hear how she lost her baby weight. And perhaps I’m biased as someone who helps people lose baby weight for a living but most women, rich and poor do in fact care to lose baby weight.

I concur with the fact that every woman can make the time to eat well or exercise. Sure, it may be easier with a trainer and a chef but at the end of the day it comes down to determination and motivation whether you’re a celebrity mom or more like me. If money was the deciding factor Oprah would be waifish and I love Oprah but she’s shown us that wealth doesn’t necessarily govern weight.

I was firmly on team G. and though her words hadn’t been polished by a PR person, I understood her point of view. All women like to feel their best, have to make the time to make this happen and it takes work. I was fully with her until she said “losing baby weight was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”Hard would’ve been acceptable, even grueling would’ve been OK but “hardest” coming from someone who lost her father way too soon? I’m handing over my team uniform. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions on this one but thought I'd leave you with something amusing. I read hundreds of comments after many articles on this subject and most reader’s joined the Gwyneth bashing bandwagon. Here is one particularly poetic response from The Huffington Post comments:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe

She had so many children but she still worked out, too.

She gave them green smoothies without any bread;

Then gave them a laxative and put them to bed.

What do you make of this baby weight brouhaha? Does G. need to get off her soapbox or does she have a point?