Maybe you'll never "love your body" (and that's OK)

Monday, I admitted to a major meltdown. I joked (or bitched) about being kitchen-less before a beach vacation. The subtext was that I like to clean things up with my diet before the whole bathing suit situation. That same day, a colleague’s Instagram post caught my eye. I should preface this by saying this person is awesome. I had the pleasure of meeting her during our recent California/Expo West trip and she’s funny and smart and none of what I’m writing is about her…just about something she wrote.

Let me set this up:

The photo I referred to shows this nutritionist in a jog bra. What’s interesting was her commentary on showing your stomach. The stated intent was to show her followers she understood this was a thing (showing your stomach).

I’ll stop for a minute and say while abs may be the ultimate reveal, many women don’t like “showing” in general. It could be insecurity about a certain body part (arms, thighs or abs are common) and it’s also possible it stems from personal preference. In my case, I have way more A-line items in my closet than body hugging ones.  And if I’m being totally honest my Instagram feed is never going to be filled with photos of me especially not sexy photos. And this is not a judgement about people who have  a ton of selfies (OK minor judgement).

The RD I referred to explains she loves her body and is unfazed by bathing suiting but didn’t always feel that way. In her effort to diffuse body anxiety she assures readers “it gets better with age, you will evolve, mature…three will come a day where you don’t care if you ate pizza the night before you get into a bathing suit.”

I think things struck a chord as I had just articulated my pre-beach mindset. I am over a decade older than this person;  I think I've evolved and matured but wearing a bathing suit isn’t "thoughtless" to me. From counseling clients all these years, I know that sometimes body stuff fades with age, we can laugh at it more, be more accepting. Other times, with aging bodies, previously body confident women (or men) get more self critical.  I watched an episode of The View yesterday and the gorgeous, ageless, super fit J-Lo saw a photo of herself and uttered, “I was chubby there.” They gave her major shit for that comment but it came out.

I wholeheartedly agree with the author of the post that we need to be kind to ourselves. But I want to point out that it’s not a failing if you’re 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 or 80 (I have an 80-something client who is very mature and still pinches her body fat and grimaces) and think about being in a bathing suit or wouldn’t rate your body a 10 on a 1-10 scale…it may just be who you are. I can say I’m a thin person, I like who I am and there are many days I feel great in my clothes. But I will note when I feel distended in the same way I’ll watch a clip for work and think about things I could’ve done better. Maybe self-acceptance comes in all different flavors.

What do you think about this? Are you more the happy naked flavor or semi-sweet on the whole thing?  Do you think it's ok not to love your body (by this I mean be 100% in love with every part)? 

*I love that my body works and every time I go for a walk or a run thank God I am capable of this...that's not what I'm referring to.

Sh*t $how

So sorry to have cut off the "We care" slogan, I show my "caring" differently

“How long have we been doing this for?” my friend Keri asked as we rolled our wheelie suitcases toward each other in the Atlanta airport. “A long time” I said but really it’s been at least 10 years we been going to nutrition conferences together. We need continuing ed. credits to maintain our RD (Registered Dietitian) degree and hey- we always manage to have a great time.

We flew in Sunday as our friend Ashley Koff was hosting a dinner at a sustainable seafood restaurant in town for fellow RDs.  The dinner started with us going around the room to introduce ourselves (always embarrassing when you have corresponded with people for years online and do not know their face from their twitter handles). We were also asked to say something we were grateful for. When it was my turn I said something about traveling with close friends but as I thought about it later I had a different answer. I am truly grateful to do what I do. I love nutrition, love counseling clients and writing, trying new foods and really the whole gamut. If you’re read my posts before I generally don’t gush a whole lot so this means something. It will also make you understand why what I’ll write about in a bit upset me so.

Dinner at Goin’ Coastal was innovative and interesting. As the chef, Seth Hendricks, introduced the courses he discussed where he purchased his fish and the importance of things like “day boat fish” as sometimes even freshly caught has been on a boat for weeks. We had hummus with hemp seeds and dolmades made with broccoleaf. Someone from EWG explained the upcoming food scores the group is releasing this month. This app will enable consumers to scan products to find out about ingredients and additives.

The following day was FNCE (The Food and Nutrition Conference and Expo). These are allegedly items dieticians should suggest to their clients or patients.

Here’s what we found when we walked into the expo hall

A little anecdote, I went up to the rep at the marshmallow pie booth and asked "how are these healthy?" She looked puzzled and said "um like what do you mean?" So, I said well it's a NUTRITION expo." I was truly horrified. I didn't go around trying to find unhealthy foods this is just a taste of what was there. I could count the truly upstanding brands on one hand. Where are the standards? How is this corruption (because that’s what it feels like) allowed? How are all these RDs paying dues and admission to an organization that thinks Tony the Tiger cares?  As far as the public, no wonder people are taking advice from health coaches and fitness professionals- would you take advice from an organization that supported marshmallow pie?

I’d love to hear from RDs, I’d love you to comment if you are as fed up with this as I am. I’d love (pipedream perhaps) to go to FNCE next year and see that soda is no longer part of a healthy diet according to the governing body of dietetics and nutrition. And if you’re not an RD what message is this sending you? 

Is Christie Too Fat To Be President?

Barbara Walters interviewed New Jersey Governor Chris Christie for her "10 Most Fascinating People" Special. I find it rather fascinating that Barbara is this doing these specials but I digress. I’ll admit, I didn’t watch the special but during the interview Barbara did it. She asked the Governor if he was too fat to run for president.

In the commentary I read/watched and by that I mean the ladies of The View rehashing this, Whoopie, and I love Whoopie mentioned Christie could be a heart attack risk. She expressed that people care about his health. If health were really what people cared about they’d be looking at all candidates genetic predispositions and blood work. Our health risk is not purely determined by our weight; it’s just that weight is easier to see. Nobody was aware that President Clinton had a quadruple bypass hiding beneath his skin. Clinton’s “issues” were hidden, at least for a time. I’ve had too many overweight clients told by their companies “we’re worried about you” and some genuinely are. However, many corporations and even family members are also worried by what the obese person’s weight may say about them.

In the interview Christie cited his around the clock work during Hurricane Sandy as proof of his conditioning. It was during Sandy that many were impressed by Christie perhaps even familiarizing themselves with him for the first time. However, I recall press conferences with Christie hunched over the podium, almost hanging on it. He seemed fatigued and worn. Can we make the assumption this is because of his weight? Christie cannot plead the fit but fat card; in 2011 he was hospitalized for asthma.

I have very mixed feelings about all of this. I’d be omitting how I truly feel if, politics aside, I didn’t think of Christie as a potential president with some concern. As someone who champions wellness and fitness, part of me would wonder what Christie, a 300-pound president, would say to the nation and others as we struggle with an obesity epidemic. And as I type that, I can see the counter argument. We have to be careful that we don’t adhere to a narrow, conventional image for our leaders. There was a time when it seemed to be the president you had to be slim and white and male. Thank goodness we have seen that white isn’t a prerequisite. Maybe accepting someone obese is another way of knocking stereotypes down. Although weight isn’t exactly the same thing as race or gender, weight is technically within our control, which makes it tricky.

With Walters, Christie acknowledged that weight was his Achilles heel. Barbara Walters then really crossed over into stupid question land when she asked the governor “why?” We all have flaws and asking some who drinks or yells why they do it shows ignorance. Perhaps, if I let my optimistic side have a crack at this Christie running would shine a light on weight and work and many important (and some stupid) questions along the way.
Do you think weight, when obese, plays a role in politics? What about other professions? Do you think Walter was justified in asking the original question?

And since we're talking politics, I thought I'd include these. A group of RDs supporting Let's Move were in DC in the fall. We're still trying...

The "Garden" is beautiful, any private citizen can request a tour... 

View of The White House from the garden.

The calm before the storm

OK garden tour over, time for lunch.

Carolyn, Ashley and I wish I, cheating photo from before our visit