My son stopped eating fries and I had nothing to do with it

I have two sons. One is more curious about nutrition;  he’s currently is into acai bowls, helps Carolyn and I test recipes etc. Then there’s my older son. He isn’t super technologically-inclined but figured out Postmates/Shake Shack really quickly. While he’s very diligent about fitness and enjoys our organic, veggie-loaded family meals, he doesn’t care too much about nutrition. That’s fine, I have made a point not to shove nutrition down my kid’s throats (in the idiomatic sense, I guess those family meals are forced on them).

Last week, this study made the rounds. Less-healthy son is a current events buff. He came into the kitchen and declared he was giving up French fries. He told everyone about this study. The study found that those who had fries more than twice a week were twice as likely to die prematurely. For the record, non-fried potatoes (roasted, baked) were exonerated.

 I wasn’t going to tell my son to keep eating fries but this study has some issues. These fry lovers, we don’t know what else they did. They could also be soda drinkers or couch potatoes or super stressed out. It’s very difficult to tease out one relationship. And there’s a portion issue too, twice a week of fries makes you die but once is perfectly fine?

I get it, “fries twice a week is associated with early death but the relationship isn’t causal” isn’t too catchy. What interested me most of all of this was that this fact so changed my son’s attitude toward a food he loves (too much). Maybe, I need to be blunter? Video games, body odor and rudeness make you die early too? In any event, don’t tell my son about the technicalities of the fry news. And while we’re deceiving my kids, don’t tell my younger son about the sugar in those acai bowls.

Do your munchkins need munchkins?

Not my boys, boys- I promise

It's a little tricky when you're a mom and a nutritionist. Sadly, I tend to keep my mouth shut when out of the office (when it comes to food-related matters, mouth rarely shuts in general). I say "sadly" because so much of what kids eat at school and after school is pretty crappy. And if that "kids are kids" argument popped into your head, I will say that this "kids are kids" thinking has resulted in a crap overload. And ironically after parenting for 13 and a half years, I can say no where is this junk-a-thon more prevalent that in children's sports.
* 13 year old asked "what am I getting for my half birthday" I said "nothing" and he sulked.

I shouldn't single these out but I will

So, after years of appalling food and sports incidents: one coach felt a pile of candy bars at halftime was a good idea, cookies when games end at noon (how about lunch or a pizza perhaps) or the millions of munchkins my boys have been presented with, I received this from my son's new coach
"I'm thinking of doing away with the snack schedule, each family can bring a snack and water for their own child." I don't dance but mentally the happy dance was happening. I posted this on Facebook and one commenter (of I think 25) said "what did your son think?" The truth is he didn't mention it and we went to lunch following the game. My son was psyched that the team did well which tends to be his area of focus. I will take competitiveness over sugar and not to worry my kids have sugar and burgers and fries.

But you see I have two children. The following week the typical email from a parent showed up in my inbox,  "I'm setting up the team snack schedule, please let me know..." In years' past I would've obligingly picked a date and use it as an opportunity to bring something like this

Or

And before you label me as "that mom" I will tell you that these are generally devoured. My theory is that kids almost roll their eyes at the cookie (that isn't usually a great cookie) or above donuts.
This year, encouraged by the other coach, I said "just throwing it out there but on another team the coach felt snacks weren't necessary, any thoughts?" I received a civil reply that said "I think snacks are something the kids like BUT I will poll the group and get back to you." I wasn't optimistic but waited. In the interim I posted the incident on Facebook. Many parents were worried about being the "mean mom" or "getting dirty looks" if suggesting healthy snacks or snacklessness. But guess what? The snack scheduler emailed "I didn't hear back from any parents so I'm going to scratch the snack schedule, everyone can bring their own."

The moral of this snack story is, voice your opinion to a league or coach or fellow parent. You'd be surprised that many parents are either happy their children aren't having constant crap OR relieved not to have to run out on a Saturday to get snacks for an entire team, "one more thing to think about" one mom said. Wherever you stand on nutrition, getting to the right field at the right time with your child and water should be enough.
Do you recall sports snacks growing up? Do you think I'm being a "mean mom"? I mean I am a mean mom but let's focus on snacks...

Do you have metabol-envy?

Yesterday, I sat with a friend and she said if she could have one wish it would be to be able to eat whatever she wanted and not gain weight. I clarified “you mean instead of your family being healthy or world peace?” She said “well one wish or thing I could change about myself.” I think I believe that last part. The truth is,  I hear all about these friends, siblings or coworkers who can eat whatever they want.  I’ve sent the majority of session consoling clients over metabolic diversity (or injustice in their eyes).  “I have to work so hard at this” or “I am eating the salad while they are having fries” I’ve heard it all and have a few things to say about these “everything eaters”.

• Oftentimes, they don’t always eat like this. Think of the celebrity with a giant burger or ice cream cone. Many people eat differently out versus at home or on weekends versus weekdays. And many don’t want to appear to watch what they are eating.

• Chances are they will not be able to eat this way forever. When twenty-something clients tell me about their French toast ordering friends, I tell them to wait a few years.  Forty has a way of leveling the metabolic playing field. And know that’s it’s most difficult for people to watch their weight who have never had to think about it.

• Everything eaters have arteries too. I worry about the insides of naturally thin people. I actually told my friend with the wish above that even if I could eat anything without gaining (and I can’t and never could) I would still drink green juice and eat wild salmon. Part of me likes it but part of me also likes how I feel and knowing I am taking care of my health (hello family history of heart disease).

• At the end of the day, metabol-envy is just envy. There will always be someone who is taller, richer and more successful. Focusing on them really takes us away from our game.

If I have any form of envy it’s confidence envy. I would love (though maybe not since I turned 40) to be the person who parades around in a bathing suit or feels no need to cover up. My friend gave me some advice about this one. She said it’s all about practice. People who are super-comfortable on the beach aren’t generally on the beach a handful of days a year. So I'm off to plan a beach trip where I will watch what I'm eating. I have no problem being that person.

Do you have metabol-envy? Do you know an “everything eater”? If you could change one thing about yourself/your body what would it be?

Sh*t $how

So sorry to have cut off the "We care" slogan, I show my "caring" differently

“How long have we been doing this for?” my friend Keri asked as we rolled our wheelie suitcases toward each other in the Atlanta airport. “A long time” I said but really it’s been at least 10 years we been going to nutrition conferences together. We need continuing ed. credits to maintain our RD (Registered Dietitian) degree and hey- we always manage to have a great time.

We flew in Sunday as our friend Ashley Koff was hosting a dinner at a sustainable seafood restaurant in town for fellow RDs.  The dinner started with us going around the room to introduce ourselves (always embarrassing when you have corresponded with people for years online and do not know their face from their twitter handles). We were also asked to say something we were grateful for. When it was my turn I said something about traveling with close friends but as I thought about it later I had a different answer. I am truly grateful to do what I do. I love nutrition, love counseling clients and writing, trying new foods and really the whole gamut. If you’re read my posts before I generally don’t gush a whole lot so this means something. It will also make you understand why what I’ll write about in a bit upset me so.

Dinner at Goin’ Coastal was innovative and interesting. As the chef, Seth Hendricks, introduced the courses he discussed where he purchased his fish and the importance of things like “day boat fish” as sometimes even freshly caught has been on a boat for weeks. We had hummus with hemp seeds and dolmades made with broccoleaf. Someone from EWG explained the upcoming food scores the group is releasing this month. This app will enable consumers to scan products to find out about ingredients and additives.

The following day was FNCE (The Food and Nutrition Conference and Expo). These are allegedly items dieticians should suggest to their clients or patients.

Here’s what we found when we walked into the expo hall

A little anecdote, I went up to the rep at the marshmallow pie booth and asked "how are these healthy?" She looked puzzled and said "um like what do you mean?" So, I said well it's a NUTRITION expo." I was truly horrified. I didn't go around trying to find unhealthy foods this is just a taste of what was there. I could count the truly upstanding brands on one hand. Where are the standards? How is this corruption (because that’s what it feels like) allowed? How are all these RDs paying dues and admission to an organization that thinks Tony the Tiger cares?  As far as the public, no wonder people are taking advice from health coaches and fitness professionals- would you take advice from an organization that supported marshmallow pie?

I’d love to hear from RDs, I’d love you to comment if you are as fed up with this as I am. I’d love (pipedream perhaps) to go to FNCE next year and see that soda is no longer part of a healthy diet according to the governing body of dietetics and nutrition. And if you’re not an RD what message is this sending you? 

Where is self-acceptance in this whole weight loss discussion?

Recently I saw a client* I hadn’t met with in some time. We first connected years ago; she was single and traveling a lot for work. In fact, our very first session was the day before she was leaving for a 3-week trip.  I devised a plan but would be lying if I said I had confidence she would make many of the changes while away. At our next meeting she proved me wrong. She had left my office that first day and picked up the non-perishable items we discussed. While away she found a pool to swim in for exercise and had the hotel prepare food for her long workdays and erratic schedule. She proved to me that when you’re ready you can do “healthy” anywhere.

Our check-ins continued for years. She faced challenges and loss, had professional twists and turns and more recently got married and had a baby. Though every stage even if she was diverted she returned to her wellness, to the habits and systems she created. And yes, though there were fluctuations the weight she lost when she first started stayed off.

So at our last meeting, I tried to get a sense of where she was at. It didn’t take long for me to realize she was overwhelmed with motherhood and trying to “get it together”. I knew any changes I would suggest needed to be subtle. As she half-listened to me she looked up and said, “I’m just wondering maybe this is just how it is” and gestured to her body. This wasn’t about body size or weight; her gusto was gone.She left the office and I checked in yesterday. I read her response as I walked down the street and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

There's a part of me that saying- just be ok with how I am right now. There's a lot going on. It may be time to work on a little self-acceptance at this moment.

It wasn’t that this go getter client was daunted that shook me.  No, it was when I thought for a moment that making changes or working on our health or weight implied we didn’t accept ourselves. I resumed my walk and thought about this and what to say to this client. My mind went back to another client I worked with when I was first counseling. He had an ill family member and was balancing work with hospital visits. He wanted to check in and I said something to the effect of “you have a lot going on, focus on your family and we’ll resume nutrition visits in the future.” Sounds a lot like my client’s email, right?

My client with the ill parent lost that parent and he did come back for visits. He taught me a lesson I’ll never forget when he said “I know you didn’t mean to but you let me off the hook. I needed to focus on myself despite the stress and instead I’ve gained weight and feel worse.”

There are times when we’re gung ho to make changes and set goals and other times our expectations need to be lower.  But if feeling confident and healthy is the goal we can’t “think about this later”.  Self-acceptance is a good thing but that has to include self-care.

Do you think self-acceptance and weight loss can coexist? Do you focus on self-care when you’re going through stressful times or does that suffer? What do you do when you don’t really want to take care of yourself (but know you should)?

*Any client mentions are anonymous and never provide specific details

Are you vegan, vegetarian, paleo? Shush….

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief. ~ Gerry Spence

Last week I sat in a new doctor’s waiting room filling out paperwork. It was standard stuff past medical history, family history, medication information (none for me) etc. Then there was a section about exercise and eating. I described my exercise routine, vitamin regime and then stopped at a question you would think was up my alley. The question asked “are you a ” and then listed various dietary regimes such as vegetarian, vegan, kosher and a few others. I settled on something to the effect of balanced eater.

The truth is I don’t subscribe to any particular dietary camp. I’m allergic to wheat, seek out organic produce and wild fish, love certain things paleo (but also like legumes and dairy) and I enjoy perusing raw food blogs and juice daily.  I was reminded of the blogger previously known as The Blonde Vegan whose story received a lot of attention this summer.  For serious personal reasons, this blogger transitioned away from a strictly vegan diet and switched the name of her platform to the Balanced Blonde. She received criticism and threats in the process for not being strictly vegan. 

 Last month a study and corresponding article in the New York Times about low carb versus lowfat made the rounds and I cringed again. The term low carb seems as outdated as low fat. Shouldn’t the conversation be about which carbs are best to eat and the right fats? 

My friend and colleague Ashley Koff has a term “qualitarian” which resonates with me but all of this segregation reminds me a little of why I am a more spiritual person than a religious one. Both religion and nutrition should be about improvement and for me it’s individual with aspects from various faiths and dietary regimes resonating with me.  And let's be clear you can have someone who's a junky gluten free eater subsisting on potato starch-laden products or a vegan mainlining white, bready items.

Why do we need the labels? I can only think the descriptions make sense when someone else is preparing your food. I go to a restaurant and mention my allergy or "gluten free", I can imagine “vegan” makes things cut and dry as well. Although I am fine with eating fish, meat and dairy I understand the desire to exclude all animal products. The second we’re judging someone as not vegan enough or devout enough we’re focusing on exclusion and that to me isn’t healthy.
How do you describe your eating? Are you a ________? Why do you think these camps or terms have become so popular? 

Something Better than Therapy

I grew up in a nature loving family.  There were walks in nature preserves, gardens (both a regular garden and a shade garden), flowers and photographs of flowers. As amazing as this sounds, it didn’t click with me. I don’t think I’m a naturally visual person. As a child if I went on the walk, my thoughts would wander and I’d be less likely to notice anything around me. And when it came to the garden or plants, while I don’t remember much I do recall the stress of having to take care of them when my parents were not there. It didn’t come naturally.

A lot of this has changed. I still find it easy to get so “in my head” on a run that I tune everything out; however,  I am appreciative of the trees and the flowers even if I don’t really know one from the other with the exception of the obvious ones.

I adapted a post for Fitbit’s blog. While it’s no surprise that time spent outdoors is nice. It’s remarkable what it can do for both our mental and physical health. I also recently discovered the work of Louie Schwartzberg. Do you know of him? He’s a photographer and I guess you can say filmmaker. In a discussion on getting people to care about climate change and the Earth he said something that caught my attention. He said people don’t respond to lists of things they should do. “We protect what we love.”

Here is a glimpse of what Schwartzberg does, I watch this video almost daily and encourage you to check it out.  With Earth Day tomorrow, spend time outside today. See what it does to the trajectory of your day and then tomorrow we’ll be back with some actionable steps but I need you to fall in love first.

How much time do you spend outside each day? Would you consider yourself a nature lover? Were you always? What do you think is the best way to get people to care about the planet?

Protein as bad as smoking? Um not so fast.

We give research a lot of credit. “This study said” is going to give what follows it a little more authority. The problem is that scientists want their work to get attention, may have hidden agendas and can twist their “data” in ways not all that different from my husband telling me “I need to go with these guys from work to the Ranger game, it’s important for business.” There’s more to that story and more to the latest “animal protein is as bad as smoking” headline too.

The background

The study garnering a lot of attention is from the journal Cell Metabolism. They looked at self-reported diet data from NHANES. Over 6,000 men and women were tracked over 18 years. The researchers zeroed in on protein intake and concluded those with the highest protein intake had higher relative risk for cancer and cardiovascular disease from ages 50 to 65. Their hypothesis is that protein increases a hormone IGF-1 and that this increases disease risk but it’s not as clear-cut as it sounds. Remember my husband and the hockey/business conclusion?

All protein isn’t created equal

The headlines zeroed in on meat, cheese and milk not exactly the foods any nutritionist worth his or her degree is going to base a food plan on. We have also seen data showing that fish and poultry reduce relative risk. And the current study found plant sources of protein (legumes and nuts) didn’t raise relative risk (in humans more on that later). So it’s clear that all protein isn’t created equal. I would go further to say not only is red meat different from plant protein but how do we lump McDonalds in with grass-fed organic meat? Foods are not simply protein or carbohydrates but combinations with some components heathy and others harmful. 

It’s dangerous at one age, beneficial at another?

Two other parts of this study sort of put the simple conclusion that protein is bad on its head. First, you turn 65 and protein isn’t only OK- this study showed that the low protein group is more likely to die of cancer after your 65^th birthday. Then a rodent study was thrown in. We read about mice with higher protein diets (and implanted with melanoma cells) having a higher risk of death than lower protein but here’s the catch in the critters.. animal and plant protein had similar results here.

What to do

First, let’s remind ourselves that when it comes to body composition and weight, recovery from illness and growth protein is beneficial (I have “research” to show you if you’d like). My advice for clients who are concerned is that we need protein in our diets but it should come from good sources. Protein at breakfast is crucial for appetite control, it's also helpful at lunch but dinner? We don't need animal protein there and that's a great time for a good carb (quinoa, sweet potato) and a copious amount of veggies. Aside from the hoopla about raw kale and thyroid function, vegetables are always good. Also. be aware of restaurant protein portions- you and the 6 foot 6 man get the same amount, leave some over or take it home keep protein to the size of an iPhone max. 

As for the scientists I mentioned earlier, the smoking comparison was purely hype. No part of this study compares the protein data to the smoking research so that’s questionable even irresponsible. And one of the lead researchers on this study Dr Longo is involved with a company that makes meat replacement products. So much for credibility.

Did you hear about this study? Did it make you reconsider your protein intake? What sources of protein do you include in your diet?

What "you're perfect just the way you are" really means.

This blog was a big part of what prompted me to write a book and here I am focused on getting LBT out there neglecting my blog, what does that make me? I’ll be back to regular posting soon but one of my favorite things about blogging is when I come across something that compels me to post. These items never make it into my “blog topics” file. This morning I was doing my social media browsing and a friend posted the cover of my book “The Little Book of Thin” and mentioned she had enjoyed it so much she re-read it-nice. This friend is thin and beautiful as many of my clients and readers are. It was two comments below her post made me pause and I’ll try to paraphrase as my intention isn’t to call anyone out (directly).

The first basically said, “wait a minute- you’re already thin".  I think this is interesting and brings up the question of why we read diet or nutrition books. To this commenter I would say feeling good isn’t just about size. It never feels good to come home at the end of the day and order in because you haven’t food shopped, it doesn’t feel good when you’re bloated or knowing you have foods and ingredients you’re regularly eating that are probably harming way more than your weight.

And the second comment stated that the poster was perfect as is ok I’m going to quote “For what it is worth, you are beautiful inside and out. Just the way you are.” This type of statement isn’t as straightforward as it seems. It’s one thing to point out someone looks great, a compliment is always welcome. The message here is you don’t need to do anything and it strikes me as a little judgy. If I read a novel and post that I enjoyed it are you going to tell me “you don’t need to read that you’re smart already”. No, there’s the sense that learning has its merit. So why then is it wrong to read and learn about nutrition? It isn’t but I just had to say so.

What do you think about these two comments? Is reading about food and nutrition all about weight? And even if it is, anything wrong with wanting to drop a couple pounds even if you appear thin? And “perfect just the way you are” is that purely nice or a little more involved?”