I have an eyebrow lady. In case you thought bikini waxers
were sadistic my eyebrow lady threads. I can’t tell you the exact technique, because
my eyes are usually closed, but she extracts each errant eyebrow hair with a
spool of thread suspended between her hands as if she’s ready for a game of cat’s
cradle on my face.
And as if this process isn’t awful enough, my eyebrow lady
is a tough cookie. “You know, I could make your eyebrows beautiful if you
didn’t tweeze between visits,” she concluded recently. “You mean at all?” I smelled
a challenge but worried about my compliance. “That’s pretty hard, once I get in
that magnifying mirror…”
Eyebrow lady (Shashi at Columbus Circle location of Shobha) had uncovered by dependency “Lauren, nobody
looks at you that closely” she said pushing her hand flat up against her face
to demonstrate. “That’s your problem”.
While I hadn’t anticipated a hair removal resolution, I took a vow of
eyebrow abstinence, paid for my lecture/torture and left.
On my way to the juice place (seems I am still that 5 year
old who received Pine Bros honey cough drops after the pediatrician, I like a
reward for my pain) I thought about eyebrow lady’s somewhat wise words “nobody
looks at you that closely”. Whether an eyebrow hair or underarm hair, the
little extra that hangs over the side of your (ok my) jeans or those hangnails-
I’m unconvinced our friends, coworkers or partners notice. They’re too busy
think about their own hair, “extra”, ignored grooming or other issues.
So, I could tell you that I went home, unplugged the
millionX mirror and that was that (not unlike the bathroom scale interventions
I hold with clients) but that’s not what happened. I used the mirror to apply
makeup and found myself newly obsessed with my dry skin but more accepting of
my eyebrows (I call this vice swapping) but did not tweeze. Yesterday, I
arrived for my threading appointment. Eyebrow lady was in the back when I
checked in but I took a seat in her dentist-like chair. “You’re ready for me,”
she said as she walked up.” “Yes, I’m ready for my compliments” I told her and
smiled. I let her do her thing but couldn’t contain myself “so, what do you
think?” I asked. “Well they’re not perfect yet but I’m excited, much better.”
From the year that eyebrow lady and I have known each other, I knew this was high
praise. It’s hard enough to feel good about ourselves but less time under the magnification
and a little encouragement certainly made me feel better.
Do you use a
magnifying mirror? Does it drive you crazy? Do you think others notice the
little things we nitpick about ourselves? And have you been threaded?
Hmm...I'm a waxer, not a threader. And last time I had an eyebrow wax, the lady asked me if I wanted my upper lip waxed too...I was pretty insulted because I had never considered it! Honestly, while there is some hair there (I'm human), it's really not visible - very fine and light in color. I went without the lip wax but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't reconsidering.
ReplyDeleteI agree that we are all our own worst critics and we definitely have more time to pick apart our own flaws than other people do. But it's hard to remember that all the time and keep it in perspective.
I definitely think we are sometimes too harsh on ourselves. I always have to remind myself that no one notices (or cares) about the little things I nitpick about (hair, nails, etc). When I find myself asking others "do I look okay?" a million times, is when I realize I need to take it easy. I think it's so easy for us to be insecure about the little things that are not perfect about us. I agree- a little encouragement (in anything that we may feel insecure about such as body, appearance, intelligence, sports performance) goes a long long way. And sometimes it doesn't need to come from others.
ReplyDeleteGreat point, we can encourage ourselves as we do with "victories" note what we like about our bodies or behaviors. I think the airbrushing culture enforces this ideal notion when really if we stand up straight and smile, we're already doing great, right?
ReplyDeleteI think they know the lip question will make most women say "of course" out of paranoia, it gets me every time. Nobody is looking at our lip or eyebrow hair and if they are we shouldn't spend time with those picky people.
ReplyDeleteThat is an excellent point! Anyone who would criticize the (almost invisible) hair on my face is not worth my time! Especially if they would say it out loud, haha.
ReplyDeleteI love this! Great perspective, just remember no one looks as closely or critically at you as you do. I am working on relieving myself of that pressure!
ReplyDeleteoh thank god for facials with joanna, she made me throw that maginfying mirror out a while ago! I do think we are way more nitpicky, but others can be critical too. always seems like the random people's comments are the ones that stick with us - had a semi-friend say a few years ago "aren't you going to get your nails done before your date?" I'm not the get my nails done for a date kind of girl but suddenly i found myself in a manicure chair! whereas if anyone closer had said it, probably would have just laughed about it. so it's almost like people can be nitpickier from a slight distance (but probably shows their own insecurities too).
ReplyDeleteI just have to interject here for a minute. While I agree we can easily become our own worst enemies, I definitely notice facial hair, messy makeup, dirty tarnished jewelry, chipped/bitten nails etc. I think how we take care of ourselves physically is a huge representation of a person overall. It's like saying you wouldn't look closely at the brand of a woman's purse or notice the red bottoms of her shoes - you just do. Whether or not you're meaning to or judge, it just happens, and everything you notice about someone is a piece to the bigger puzzle.
ReplyDeleteI love you Ali. You will never, ever get a "looks do not matter" message here/at Foodtrainers etc. However, I promise you that nobody could notice the "outsider" on my brow only visible with the mag mirror. And while gross nails, messy hair do get noted by this detail-oriented Virgo, the minor chip or 2-pound weight gain we may fret about is truly invisible to others. But I don't notice purse brands, sorry to busy focusing on the food/drink etc ha.
ReplyDeleteAnd this goes for those critical boyfriend/partners/friends. If the only thing they are finding is fault...see you later. However, to Ali's point if I have have a grandma hair coming out of my chin or kale in my teeth I expect my people to tell me, ha.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever want to be humbled, try being a teacher to the <8yo crowd. They will tell you if you have a weird hair, by staring at it and telling you in front of the whole class. Lol. but other than that little issue, I agree: People just don't look that closely. They do notice your character, though, and that is so much more important! :)
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