10% Happier? Maybe.

I’ve been reading more lately. I always read newspapers and have a stack of books on my nightstand but sometimes TV intrudes on my reading time. This past weekend, I read a ton and finished Dan Harris’s 10% happier. If you’re unfamiliar with the book, Harris is a newscaster who was battling panic attacks and, as he so aptly called, it “the asshole voice in his head” or negative self-talk. Harris embarks on a journey through the self- help sphere in the most skeptical way. It reminded me a little of A.J. Jacob’s books, if you’ve read those.

Some things that have stuck with me from the book:

Just because a book changed someone else’s life doesn’t mean it will resonate with you. For example, Harris doesn’t relate to much of Eckhart Tolle’s writes. In fact, Harris interviews Tolle and doesn’t feel there’s much that’s useable in his advice. There are a number of books, Brene Brown’s work comes to mind, that friends or colleagues rave about whereas I cannot get through them. Unlike Bill Gates, I think it’s fine to put a book down and find one that’s not a struggle.

Wanderlust may be misleading. I am a travel junkie and I have always felt a certain pride in being adventurous. While reading this book, Harris describes the person always looking for the next thrill, trip or high. Maybe, focusing on these amazingly amazing moments makes everyday life feel dull or not enough. We were home this past weekend and, at first, part of me regretted not going to Vermont or somewhere new. Perhaps reading this book played a role but we had the best time. We had no plans, I slowed down…if you’re go, go, go reconsider a bit.

You don’t have to love yourself. Confession- I hate this advice. And again, it’s personal so if you love loving yourself by all means continue. For me, it feels phony. One of the experts on this book says he counsels against it. “Mindfulness gives us a way to examine our self-hatred without making it go away. Just being mindful of it can be liberating.” Harris points out, if we allow ourselves to acknowledge those less-than-lovable parts of ourselves maybe we don’t need to eat, pop pills or do whatever it is to hide it or distract ourselves. WOW

After reading this book I found myself looking at mediation as something with a payoff, I know that sounds wrong. I used to see meditation as something I should do, something other people benefited from. Now, I see it as something that could help me at work, help me pause and not react out of anger and tame that voice inside my head that’s an asshole.

What are you reading? Do you meditate? I’d love to hear.

I'm not a hugger (and how this can help you)

Call her my girl crush, idol or obsession; whichever word you use- I love Nora Ephron. I love her writing and movies, how much she loved NYC and, most importantly, her feelings about egg white omelets. I admire her so much I felt “bad about my neck” years before I needed to (and silently thank her when I apply night cream below my chin). So, when I read a review of Richard Cohen's new Nora Ephron biography She Made Me Laugh, I immediately headed to Barnes and Noble. Amazon prime would not do.

I've always felt some sort of connection to Nora; I'm sure many feel this way but as I read this fantastic book a few things stood out:

Nora abhorred religion

She didn’t like dancing

And she wasn’t much of a hugger

Why does this matter? It matters because you're supposed to like each of these things. And each of these things I've kind of fudged liking for a long time. And so now I feel I can be out.

I will never dance like nobody is watching and can't relate to that sentiment. I found another non-dancer (and married him) and we saunter over to the bar when the band begins. Or we watch other people dance and prove my dance theory and that is that being a good dancer isn’t a prerequisite for liking to dance. 

As for religion, I grew up Jewish-ish. There was no Hebrew school or bat mitzvah. We didn’t have seders...we had dinners.  We only had a rabbi at our wedding because I felt we had to.

And hugging, hugging confuses me. I don't mind a kiss hello but a hug is reserved for my kids…on visiting day when they’ve been away for three weeks.  I especially hate those awkward moments where you don’t know if you’re expected to hug or not.

As of today, I am going to own my feelings on these topics. My guess is that you have something you've been pretending to like too. If it's something as silly as dancing or hugging there's no reason to fake it. However, there are some areas where I’ll make effort to change such as bringing by reusable shopping bags, tracking my finances (I’d rather dance) and ending my delightful, summer fling with rosé.

It Was Me All Along

I read two types of books. For work it’s mostly non-fiction. There’s a stack of books staring at me on fascinating topics such as probiotics, hormones and seeds. On the weekends, I’ll treat myself a novel, something I can read more than one chapter of at a time. Though I like anything nutrition-related, rarely am I captivated by something I’m reading for work. However, I spent most of Saturday on the couch with It Was Me all Along. And if you’ve ever struggled with food or family, you will cherish Andie Mitchell’s story.

I do something weird while I read (and I randomly found out another friend does too). I fold the bottom of the page in a book if there’s something I want to return to. I had so many corner flips as I read this one. A few of my favorites:

Where does emotional eating begin?

Without giving too much away, in the first part of the book you learn about Andie’s early years. In a way both of her parents were absent. But it was her mother who was “scared of scarcity” and baked and cooked excessively when she was around who had a steady influence on Andie’s food and weight.  When she was around, we get the picture of a loving mom who truly wants what’s best for her daughter.

Change of circumstances, change of eating?

As I read, I thought surely when Andie left home and went off to college she’d be less lonely and her food might fall into place.  I was wrong, what started off as eating out of loneliness morphed into social eating. She found friends and entered relationships with those who enjoyed overeating too. In many ways, for better or for worse, our peers have an effect on our eating.

The realizations that start to change things

At one point, after visiting a drive through with a friend, Andie remarks she doesn’t even like McDonald’s fries “I wondered how many other foods I ate that I didn’t even like. Then I wondered, however briefly, if my eating was even about liking food at all”. Eating can be about so many non-taste related things. As Andie said best, “whenever I started to feel even one inkling of boredom, doubt, anxiety or anger, food would soothe me. At least temporarily.”

There are always “two voices”

Andie captures the struggle, the pull of “both voices” many of us have.  “I struggled between wishing away all the food that had collected on my body as fat and fiercely missing every morsel.”

What to do when things aren’t going so well

I loved a breakthrough Andie had when she was wavering “oh so this is going to suck for a while”. She compares eating to a marathon “where miles 10 through twenty-six just purely, uncompromisingly suck. ” It’s not always fun and many of us have to realize that.

Mindful Eating

Some of my favorite parts of this book are when Andie goes abroad to Italy. She discovers running and cooking but also pleasure in food. It’s a major, meaningful and beautiful shift going  “from someone who ate to capacity to distract her mind, into someone who purposefully tasted every morsel, was not unconscious”

We can lose weight without really addressing things

 “I wanted so badly to conceal the fact that, despite a radical transformation, I remained as screwed up as I had been. I was alone with myself. I was exposed. I was left with emotions I’d eaten for twenty years”

And finally…

“I was simply one person who happened to have lots of history and personal experience with dieting, losing weight and learning to love her whole self”

Have you read or heard of this book? Which quote resonated with you? What are you reading now?

What The Fork Are You Eating? Giveaway

I don’t really respect that many people. In terms of nutrition, I could rattle of a dozen RDs whose work I applaud but I am picky.  love nothing more than people who are smarter than I am, know more and when they pair that with passion? They’ve got me. Enter Stefanie Sacks culinary nutritionist, radio show host (she hosted me with Little Book of Thin) and now author. I asked Stefanie a few questions and we’re giving away 2 copies of her fantastic, new book Whatthe Fork Are You Eating?IF you think you know a lot about food, I promise you this book will tell you more.

How did this book come about? Who would you say it’s for?

What The Fork embodies roughly 30 years of my learning: first as a kid trying to get well, then as a culinary student, nutrition student and ultimately a culinary nutrition professional and impassioned food warrior. What The Fork is meant for the food and nutrition neophytes as well as the mavens. There is something in it for everyone (hopefully). Even I have so much more to learn!!!

I love your “top-rated” terminators and you do a great job explaining the history and peril with many ingredients currently used. It’s not just “don’t eat this” but you provide the reason why. What would be the ingredients you feel people should cut out above all others?

 Food dyes are likely my number one ingredient to eliminate. There is extensive research linking them to carcinogenicity, neurotoxicity and genotoxicity (see Rainbow of Risks report by Center for Science in the Public Interest). Red Dye #40 in particular has been directly linked to hyperactivity in already hyperactive children. U.S. consumption of food dye has increased five-fold since 1955 and today children and adults consume products with not just one dye in them, but multiple dyes. And it is important to note that when studies were conducted years ago, they only addressed single use dyes (meaning one dye at a time) and their effects were not studied on children. Food can effectively be colored with healthier alternatives like turmeric or beet powder so I highly suggest opting out of the petroleum-based artificial colors. 

The whole Europe/US contrast in ingredient safety drives me nuts. Why are so many more ingredients banned in Europe? How can companies justify dye free or superior products produced there versus here?

 I am honestly blown away by this reality. The European Food Safety Authority was established in 2002 in response to a series of food crises in the late 1990’s. Their job? To assess risk relating to food and feed safety. They enlist a “precautionary principle” which essentially means that when there is substantial and credible evidence pointing to dangers to human or environmental health then protective action should be taken even though there may still be some measure of scientific uncertainty. Bottom line, the EU (European Union and its keystone European Food Safety Authority) care more about human and environmental health than the U.S. Government who, in my opinion, are playing roulette with true food safety (and health) daily because of their insidious relationship with Big Food and Big Ag. Food companies in the US use inferior ingredients because they can and because their bottom line is ultimately their priority.

Your pantry section is great. If someone is getting their food shopping act together what are the top 5 ingredient swaps that you would suggest?"

• If cereal is a must, go for the truly whole grain sort in rolled or steel cut oats (made with water and topped with a little maple syrup or honey, fresh fruit and nuts), even muesli (no sugar added version)
• Opt out of the corn, soy and canola oils (likely genetically modified) and opt into extra virgin olive oil (even grape seed oil) and coconut oil
• Dabble in sugar with honey, maple syrup or even raw cane sugar versus any of the artificials
• Instead of using too much salt to season food, become a mixologist with fresh or dried herbs and spices. Also have San-J low sodium tamari on hand (less sodium per serving than salt) to lift food flavor
• Instead of the pasta all of the time, try spaghetti squash as an alternative or simply spiralize a zucchini 


Your recipes look great; at my house we have a high degree of repetition with our recipes (makes it easy). What recipes from book do you make most often?

My go to recipes are the my Power Green “Fuice” and Untraditional Egg Salad (basically eggs and mashed avocado) for breakfast. Skillet Broccoli, Lazy Lentil Soup, Red Quinoa Tabouli, Cowgirl Chili and Mon Freres Meatballs are other favorites. 

Thanks Stef,  you can catch Stefanie this Saturday March 7th at TEDx Manhattan—Changing The Way We Eat. Her talk—What The Fork Are You Eating? Small Changes in Food Choice Can Make BIG Everyday Differences. To stay connected with Stefanie, sign up for her blog -- bi-weekly ruminations, radio shows and recipes, and follow her on: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Her book,What the Fork Are You Eating? (Tarcher/Penguin Random House) is available wherever books are sold.

Are food dyes on your radar? Which ingredients puzzle you most?

Any great, new food books other than this one you’re reading?

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Should you quit sugar? Should your kids?

There is some saying (it may be more of an advertising saying) that you have to hear about something a few times to notice or take action. Last week, Jenna Helwig the talented chef who worked on the recipes for LBT and is also an editor at Parents tweeted me the following link. In response to the recently released Year of No Sugar, a book that chronicles a family forgoing sugar for a year, Parents was taking part in a day without sugar (it was 4/9 sorry to be late to spread the word).  When I first read I thought the magazine and book author were encouraging adults to test this out for a day. This is something we already do with Foodtrainers clients but they meant it for the whole family. Initially I had mixed feelings.

That night, when I got home from work my copy of  the book/cookbook I Quit Sugar arrived. A client had tipped me off to this Aussie’s blog a while back and I couldn’t wait to read it. It’s not often that I feel inspired by a health expert but the author Sarah Wilson’s tone and ideas are impressive.

And remember I said  something about 3s? Saturday I looked through my DVRd shows and Dr Oz had the mother from the no sugar year on with him.  My first response to things is often cynical and in my head I thought “what’s with these one-year experiments?” We’ve seen No Impact Man give up waste, I’ve written about the woman giving up makeup (scary) was this all started by Supersize Me?  Maybe it's just that I highly doubt I could forego anything I enjoy for a whole year. As I listened, I heard that her children were hardly sick in the year they went sugar free. The kids and their mom spoke about sweet foods now tasting too sweet and about being knowledgeable about where sugar lurks (everywhere).

So, with sugar on my mind, at dinner last night I brought the subject up. Even my husband, who has lived with me for 20 years, was shocked when I explained breads, tomato sauce and many seemingly unsweet foods with sugar. Even though involving the kids initially sounded a little diety for the younger set my 10 year old woke up asking “is today the day we’re going to skip sugar”? I’ll review I Quit Sugar once I have a chance to make some of the recipes and read the whole book but curious

What do you think of skipping sugar for one day as a family experiment? Is it like Meatless Mondays or too rigid? Aside from desserts do you pay attention to sugar in your meals? 

The Balance Project

Is this balance? If so I'm super balanced, you?

I don't remember my reply when Susie asked to interview me for The Balance Project but it was something to the effect of "get ready for your first mom who knows nothing about the subject". The series of emails showed me who this Susie is and she's awesome. Fortunately for me, the fact that I'm unapologetically out of balance wasn't a problem.  I really enjoyed answering this series of questions.

A little about the project in Susie's words:
 I’ve always been curious—and maybe a little obsessed—about how women I admire do “it all” (or at least try to). So I asked them. And as I suspected, no one really does. Or even really wants to. Every Friday I’ll feature a new interview. Here’s what Lauren Slayton had to say…

Here is the rest of the interview:
Lauren Slayton, Nutritionist
Age: 40
Where I live: NYC
Job: Nutritionist (founder of Foodtrainers) and author of The Little Book of Thin
Ages/genders of kids: 2 boys ages 9 and 11

Is the job you have now the same one you had before kids? If not, how and why did you change directions?
I opened Foodtrainers in 2001 when I was pregnant with my older son (what was I thinking?). Fortunately, it worked out. As the boys got older, I started the blog. And the book sort of fell into place.

Do you think having “it all” is realistic or overrated and why?
I believe in juggling. Having it all sounds off-putting. I want to throw darts at having it all. At the same time I’m grateful for my family, for my business, and now for my book.

What part of “balance” can you just not seem to figure out?
I think part of having your own business sort of means you’re always at work. I envy those people who don’t email on the weekend or who can put their phones away when they get home to their children. I have a hard time turning that mental to-do list off. I also wish I read more, other than the newspaper or Facebook links.

What part of “balance” are you getting better at?
I am getting better at enjoying things. I am getting better at patience. Let’s be real though, I am basically an impatient perfectionist. My mother once said the second you feel you have a good marriage or sing your husband’s praises you will go home and get in a fight, so I’m hesitant to remark on what’s better because all of a sudden it’s not.

What was the best advice you ever heard on balance…
From a mentor/co-worker? I worked with another nutritionist when I was just out of grad school. I was ready to show the world how much I knew, and she pointed out how much people want to be listened to and supported. Despite all the money paid for nutritional biochemistry, you can’t replace support.

From your mother? From my mother and my grandmother I learned what it feels like to be fiercely loved. My mom and I are very different. I love lists and plans but my mom has taught me to “just go.” When I was younger she’d rent out our apartment and rent a house in Spain. When I was contemplating having kids she said “don’t wait until you’re ready or you’ll be waiting a long time.”

From your kids? My kids have shown me what it’s like to love someone so much it hurts and how valuable it is to spend real time. Being at their piano lessons, helping with the homework, those snowy days when we freeze on the way to school—I am cherishing them all.

I should add I cannot stand “it goes by so fast” because that seems so hopeless to me. One client said “every stage is great” and that’s how I approach parenting. Sure, my kids are less adorable at 9 and 11 than they were at 4 and 6 but we can go places and eat anywhere, and I refuse to mourn for the time when they were little—the truth is that was exhausting and horrible at times.

If you had one extra hour in each day and you couldn’t work or be with your family, how would you spend that hour?
An hour? I’d take 15 minutes. I love a bath, I love a book, but I want a whole afternoon with a book. I also love the time to be able to leisurely get somewhere; it feels luxurious.

What would you have told yourself…
20 years ago? To appreciate and protect my skin.

20 years from now? I can’t say but I do hope I don’t let aging and the fear of aging take up too much mind time.

What one part of your home life do you wish you could outsource?
I outsource it all, ha. Really though, I can cook and all of that, I am just not a good cleaner, I swear I’m not.

Whose job do you wish you had?
Travel writing seems sexy.

Whose job are you glad you don’t have?
I almost went to med school, and I’m glad I did not.

Favorite book?
I have so much trouble answering this question; I can never recall my favorites. My favorite writing is usually a little snarky. I love Nora Ephron everything.

What are you reading right now?
Just finished Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell, and I adored it.

Biggest vices…
Activity? Are we talking reality TV? Taxi taking? Yelling?

Food? I am pretty much a nutrition nerd but also love great food. If life had no rules, there would be more cheese, more cocktails, and chocolate that wasn’t always 70% dark.

Website? Oh god, I can get sucked in. I am reformed, but I have spent hours on Reality Steve, there I said it.

How many hours do you generally sleep at night during the week?
I get up at 5-something but I’m usually asleep by 11 if not before. So that’s 6-7, 7 being what I suggest others shoot for.

What do you read every morning?
Instagram. I read the New York Times and The Post daily, but not necessarily in the morning.

Complete the following sentences:
I think I: make myself crazy.

I wish I: could feel proud more often.

My kids: are amazing and I’m not just saying that because they’re mine (or maybe I am).

Do you have a personal motto or favorite saying?
My friend Jen Linn’s passion was fearlessness. I am not there but in moments where anxiety is taking over I try to remove it. I try to enjoy. I try, and I’m not there yet.

Anything else you’d like to add?
Very random anecdote but let me say this… In our 20s we lived across the hall from this couple. She was gorgeous and had a great job and he was gorgeous, had the job, etc. The “perfect” couple, right? My husband and I are both feisty, and astrologers say we’re a nightmare combo, but we’ve been together since ‘93. So we go to dinner with the “perfect” couple and minutes in, she looks at us and says, “Okay guys, admit it, do you hear us fight all the time?” She wasn’t saying they were miserable, but they thought we heard their “imperfection” and we, of course, were convinced they heard ours. Couples fight, kids have issues. I have arrived at the office with one of my puppies’ poop bags in my purse (yup). Someone I met said “I have life envy after looking at your Instagram.” Maybe I should post poop pics.

Be sure to check out the balance project and because I understand the importance of supporting authors and preorders, Susie's book On Grace (I did).

PS I really took this to heart. I had a trip for the book to Chicago this week and rather than picking apart how I did or how successful it was I enjoyed the opportunities and tried to be proud...tried.
Where do you feel you could be more balanced? What's the best advice you received from your mother or family member? Favorite book? Isn't this fun?

Are we all our own marketers? Randi Zuckerberg says no.

 It’s always funny which articles you read stick with you. While I gravitate toward anything food-centric,  the articles I clip (yes physically clip) from the weekend paper are often either those with writing I admire and want to reread or interviews.  Last weekend, a few parts of an interview with Randi Zuckerberg (sister of Facebook’s CEO) resonated with me.

In a discussion about Facebook (where she no longer works) she said friends would say to her “your life looks so amazing.” She’d reply “I’m a marketer; I’m only posting the moments that are amazing.” The interviewer than commented “that drives people crazy about Facebook- that it turns all of us into marketers.” Randi actually disagreed.

I’ve given a lot of thought to this topic as I’m in the “marketing” stage for my book and it's not my favorite part of the process. While I’m certainly not a social media wallflower: I blog, I tweet, FB and “gram” but it's often not super-focused on me. At a gathering with nutritionist colleagues one RD remarked “when you posted a photo of yourself on Halloween it was nice to see, you only post juices and smoothies.” At first I thought perhaps she wasn’t a juice fan but then I realized it was true. I like to stand back a little. I'm more than happy to talk Foodtrainers or nutrition but you will not see my face plastered on all our materials.

 At lunch with a friend, social media came up (as it often does). We talked about tooting your own horn. I mentioned a certain fitness professional I had to unfollow as the constant flow of selfies and me, me, me was irritating. I wasn’t learning about new workout but just being barraged with abs and boobs.  The conversation shifted to a personality who is building an impressive following and my friend said, “it’s just all about them, it’s relentless. She is never shining the light on someone else’s causes or stepping back.”

And so I think it’s a fine line. Yes, from makeup to media we are all shaping an image. I laugh when, on Instagram, people use the hashtag “no filter” to indicate they haven’t manipulated the color of a photo. “This one is real” they are saying even if they took 100 to get that one. Randi Zuckerberg thought of it in terms of storytelling. Maybe even if it is marketing it should be too blatant. Or perhaps in social media, as in life, it’s more interesting when it isn’t all about us. What do you think?

Are we all marketing ourselves? Where is "real" in all of this? And where is the "this person needs to stop" line?
I find it super ironic that there was no mention of Randi's two new books Dot Complicated "untangling our wired lives" or her children's book Dot in the Times article (who's doing her marketing?). And if you're curious about Dot it's "about a young girl called Dot who discovers the fun of playing outside when her mother takes away her tablet, laptop, cellphone, and desktop computer". Sad.