Empathy for Elin

I know infidelity isn’t a natural match for a nutrition blog. But hey, it’s my blog and I think there’s something interesting to write about, please bear with me. Like many of you, we had more than a passing conversation about Tiger Woods and his “alleged” affair this weekend. We did our share of detective work trying to figure out what happened or didn’t happen. Beyond the gossip, there was big part of me who was really sad for Elin (Tiger Woods’ wife), sad for her experiencing what many women fear so much.

I was still thinking about all of this when we returned home Sunday and watched HBO’s special on the Rock and Roll hall of Fame Concert. During the concert we watched Fergie, in her thigh high boots, give Mick Jagger (who she performed with) a run for his money with her moves, her talent and her presence. And I realized she too has a husband who had an “alleged” affair recently, hmn. Here were two beautiful and sexy women, two women many women would love to look like and two women who may very well be heartbroken right now. Yes, as an adult I know infidelity (and all of this unconfirmed) isn’t prevented by beauty or talent but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it.

Then my mind went back to my clients, as it often does. I thought about clients who postpone dating until they lose weight. I thought about many people’s expectation that with weight loss comes happiness. From counseling all these years I know weight loss isn’t a prescription for success in relationships or happiness. Yet, while we know thinness or good looks aren’t guarantees for happiness, many of us, in various ways, strive for them. We all do judge books (and people) by their covers to some extent.

So where does this leave us? Should we toss our trainers or forego food journals? Not from what I have seen. As clients work on their fitness or their weight, some gain confidence, others see health benefits or mood benefits providing incentive and a reward for their efforts. I, for one, am not divorcing my flat iron or relinquishing my morning run any time soon. But as we continue in our pursuit of pretty, we have to remind ourselves of its limitations. We should spend much more time enriching our minds, spending time with those we love and working on our golf swing….because you never know when your cheating husband's SUV is going to be in your way.