We all have a friend or know someone who eats whatever they
want to and never gains weight. In fact,
many of my clients are tormented by their spouses or coworkers who appear to
always say, “yes please” and remain thin. Skinny bitches without even trying.
Where is the justice? After years of trying to make sense of these metabolic
freaks I have come to a few conclusions.
First, and I know this may not matter when your focus is
your skinny jeans, we all have arteries. Your husband who has dessert every day and sister who warmly receives and enjoys the breadbasket still have insides.
Rest assured that unlimited butter or sugar or booze has side effects even if
you cant see them, even if they’re undetectable for years. I sometimes worry
about the “naturally skinny” people because our weight-obsessed society (hand
raised, I have a role in this fat focus) tells them they can eat anything. I
watched a provocative (thought not as provocative as the BDSM show) episode of Lisa Ling’s Our
America in which she profiled families with obese children. In one family,
it was the 100-pound four year old wearing a ventilator to bed for his sleep
apnea that made the mother change the family diet. His three slender siblings
should thank him for that. If all the kids were normal weight the Dorito diet
would endure.
Second, not everyone who appears to eat whatever they want
eats whatever they want all the time. I remember a friend of my mother’s
growing up who would come to dinner on the weekend. This lean, stylish woman would out eat everyone. When I
mentioned this to my mother she said, “she doesn’t eat like that all week.”
Some people have a system where they hold back certain days so that they can let go on others. And
frankly some people just want it to appear that they don’t have to watch their
weight as if there’s something wrong with being careful.
And Sarah Jessica…adorable, smart, lean and as if that
doesn’t make her enviable enough she seemed to be an eat everything/not get
fat gal and she’s not even French. Over the years, I’ve noted mentions of
dinner party menus and favorite foods and there was never anything remotely
healthy in her recaps. Meat, potatoes, cheese you name it and yet she
never stuck me as one of those phony “I eat soooo much” celebrities. Sarah
Jessica was recently interviewed by Kelly Ripa (I DVR a lot of shows but watch
selectively) and Kelly joked about SJP’s eating. Kelly even remarked “she not
only eats carbohydrates but asks for seconds” and then Sarah muttered something
under her breath but I heard it, she said “well it’s starting to catch up with
me.” I don’t mean this in a terrible way but as a fan of justice for all YES!
I know you may be reading this at 25 and 40-something seems
a long way away but in one way or another eating crappy food and thumbing your
nose at healthy anything has its price. If the grass, or in this case food is
“greener” on your side of the fence and you’re annoyed by that don’t be. Your
arteries, perhaps your children and your clothes when you’re over 40 will thank
you.
Who is the person in your life who eats whatever they want seemingly unscathed? Are you envious? Have you seen Our America or other shows on OWN? Do you care that it's starting to catch up with Sarah Jessica?
I'm so glad you posted this Lauren. I can't tell you how many times people look at even ME and thing that I can eat whatever Iw ant, and I'm "naturally" skinny. HA! Not even close. And like you said, it eventually catches up with everyone, even Nick who is starting to get a little gut (I'm secretly smiling....is that bad???). And like you said, even those who don't put weight on as easy are still not necessarily healthy if they eat the wrong foods! It's what's inside that really matters....
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Lauren.
ReplyDeleteThere are outliers, but they are rare. The difference
between the thin and the overweight lies mostly with what, how, and how much they eat, not in one meal or weekend, but overall, on a regular basis.
Most middle aged thin people have been watching what they eat for a long time. It’s such a habit they hardly notice it anymore. True, it also gets harder with age, but if asked you’ll see that the lean 40, 50 and 60 year-olds have had a plan – and executed on it.
Great post! Love your point about the effects we can't see. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I could turn off the part of my brain that "goes there." I've had the experience a few times of being on a date with someone who orders a soda and asking myself, "Hm...would I still like him when he's diabetic and missing a foot?"
ReplyDeleteoh my god Jess, love love love the comment about the date. I have a chapter in the book about dating and nutrition. Classic.
ReplyDeleteI think people focus on the outliers though. I also think someone seeming to be "natural" about choices can mask that they actually do "watch". Interesting Ayala about people having a plan without noticing it, isn't that the ultimate goal?
ReplyDeleteand ironically, you may be thin but then have GI issues that certainly prevent "whatever you want". The funny thing is for those of us in nutrition is that "whatever I want" has become pretty healthy. I don't fantasize about junk because I can't decouple junky food and junky feelings/feeling junky. Turns out Hallmark was right, it is the inside that counts. Though I care about the outside, have the shallow side too.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Lauren!
ReplyDeleteI spent the first half of my life "naturally thin" and eating whatever I wanted, but it caught up to me after having kids. . I was what I call fat/thin. I had no muscle tone, no stamina for exercise and my asthma was terrible. My diet was atrocious and my cholesterol was WAY over 200. I'm now 20 pounds heavier than I was 11 years ago, but have never been more healthy. I'm glad it caught up to me, I'm pleased with all the changes I have made.
Oddly, I used to be that person. I never gained weight in college and ate massive bowls of ramen noodles almost every day (plus a few glasses of wine). But immediately after graduating from college and working in investment banking, I gained a lot of weight very quickly, even at the young age of 22. But now I'm happy I completely overhauled my diet, it's changed my life in so many ways besides my weight.
ReplyDeletein some ways the gain is a blessing. I've never been heavy but have always been mindful. Now, what I eat is much more about how I feel, how I will age and the example for my family. Ah college kathy- choices were a little different for me but I can't say any more healthy. You live and you learn (or at least some do).
ReplyDeleteskinny fat? I know what you mean Claire. Where have you noticed the biggest improvement? Or has everything you mentioned benefitted from new habits?
ReplyDeleteExactly! Good eating habits make eating well and not overeating quite easy -- almost automatic.
ReplyDeleteYes - skinny fat. Everything has benefitted from my (developing) habits.
ReplyDeleteI have a good number of friends who were skinny all their lives and ate all they wanted. But its true what they say about metabolism slowing down after 30, or at least is was in my friends' cases. It does catch up and it's harder to develop better eating habits then since you are so used to being able to eat whatever you wanted.
ReplyDeleteI love that you're doing a chapter on dating & nutrition! Sooo many things come up when you combine the two.
ReplyDeleteGreat Article! What a find interesting about it is the perception people have about weight. While I agree that for many weight is definitely a control issue - it's sad that for some it isn't. The skinny person regardless of health will automatically be viewed more favorably, be offered more jobs (and even in a court of law be viewed more of the time as not guilty!). In contrast, society will automatically assume that one who is overweight is unhealthy and lazy. When that isn't always the case. The overweight person might actually be healthier and more fit than the skinny person. Further, I find it sad that we judge each other's eating habits - maybe the skinny person you see eating more food than others is training for a marathon, or perhaps this is their one day a month splurge. Sad that as a society we consistently stereotype the eating habits of others - often overlooking the nutrition/health aspect of it all. My best friend (who is crazy healthy and gorgeous) was at a dinner party 2 months before her wedding - she chose to splurge and order a piece of cheesecake - another woman in the party said to her "wow, interesting that you're being so careless 2 months before your wedding.."
ReplyDeleteI used to eat anything and everything with no problem. People would hate me. But then I turned 30 and had Maya and I had to re-learn how to eat.
ReplyDeleteLove SJC...I really admire her / her style / her family.
Great post!
ReplyDeleteFrom my personal observations, I think people who can truly eat "whatever" and stay thin are actually pretty rare. And with those who are lucky when they are young, it definitely catches up when they get older...
And, yes, you definitely can't tell how healthy someone is by looking at them. Unfortunately, many make that assumption however.
great point sam, harder to develop habits the more time you have eating "whatever"
ReplyDeleteI see no "over 30" evidence Ameena but I also know you've made changed to focus on health etc and I think that often has other benefits. I think you're probably still an "eat anything" from a weight perspective. If you weren't my friend I may envy that.
ReplyDeleterare but sometimes vocal about it or showy.
ReplyDeleteI used to be one of those people, eating candy all the time and not worrying about diet or exercise at all. I never ate really large portions but I definitely overindulged in the sweets category A LOT when I was younger, and I never exercised one bit. Hated gym class. I was never overweight so I didn't worry about it. Then I turned 22 and my metabolism came to a screeching halt. I gained maybe 10-15 lbs that are still there, even though I watch my diet a lot more and exercise regularly. I'd like to think muscle accounts for some of that weight but I can't account for it all!
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, I know I'm healthier and more fit at 35 than I was at 20 and if I am 10 lbs heavier after 15 years (and one child, born by c-section) then I am pretty happy with that. Taking charge of my diet/exercise habits out of necessity has also made me able to teach my son proper habits from an early age. Although my mom did that too, a lot of good that did me - I think we all have to figure it out for ourselves when we're ready.
I wish I knew all the things I do when I was younger :) My husband eats healt
ReplyDeletei care nothing about her eating habits...what i do care about but have yet to see a clip is when Kelly whipped out a photo of Robert Downet Jr and SJP together in the 80's and expect SJP to say something...she seemed shocked but then took the high road and only remarked about her attire and hairstyle...haha amusing on Live! tv
ReplyDelete