I was a meditation faillure until this

Meditation stresses me out.  While I’m fully on board with all meditation can do for me, I couldn’t find a way to work it into my life. Some people meditate first thing in the morning. That’s great but I like to write at that time. Others suggest meditating before bed but at that point, I just want to go to bed. I’ve spent money on apps and programs and nothing stuck until my most recent discovery.

One of my favorite things in life is a sauna. I love the dry heat and the quiet. I find it to be one of the most relaxing things but I don’t have a sauna at home. I do have a steam shower, which was never my thing (more of a bath girl). Marc insisted on it when we renovated. I’ve slowly come around and find it sauna-esque, now I set the steam for 10 minutes whenever I shower.

I’ve been pretty anxious the last couple of weeks. It’s nothing major but the usual not enough hours in the day stuff that comes with the kids being back in their routines and work kicking up for me.  I’ve noticed my heart racing a bit. And so, when I found myself with five minutes left on the steam shower, I decided it was an opportunity (and all I can say to the person who thought this sentence meant something else is it's a MEDITATION post). I sat down (we have a bench in our shower, another Marc request), closed my eyes and “focused on my breath”.  If that sounds a little woo woo to you, I agree. You see I’m not someone who can focus on my breath. The only thing that works for me is counting. I count five counts to inhale and another five to exhale.  I think there’s something to be said for being locked in the shower. Even if my eyes open there’s no computer screen or phone. There’s nobody who will walk in (surprisingly this is the one safe haven in my house) or distract me. And I’m only aiming for five minutes at this point.  I’m ok with that as I read (in People which made me feel better about my People habit too) the Dalai Lama quoted saying, “there shouldn’t be any strict rules. It’s not good to push oneself too much.” So there.

Do you meditate? When and where do you do it? For how long? Do you like saunas?

So I started meditating…sort of

Our newsletter today focuses on healthy rituals. We culled top food and fitness experts for their daily rituals and the answers were inspiring (and funny).  Some responses were too in depth for our monthly newsletter and so we’ll feature them here this week. In the meantime, the newsletter also mentioned those rituals you wish you did which we call “wishuals”.

Meditation has been a wishual for me for some time. I think it’s been a New Year’s resolution.  I’ve polled my Facebook friends to find out their favorite meditation teachers,  I even went to an intro session on transcendental meditation (the twice a day requirement and weird cult-like infomercial ruined it for me).  This past summer, I registered for a meditation retreat at The Garrison Institute retreat taught by Jack Kornfield (who I had heard about as I own one of his books). But I didn’t go; I didn’t read the book or attend classes either.  And if New Year’s resolutions were superstitions, I’d be screwed. And maybe I am screwed because meditation changes everyone’s life and here I am unchanged.

So, earlier this month I signed up for a Deepak Chopra/ Oprah (their names sound so great together) 21-day online meditation course. The registration took two minutes and I was technically good to go. I sat down at my computer and clicked through to Day 1. Oprah does a little intro and then Deepak takes over. After a couple of minutes of talking, you’re encouraged to close your eyes and focus on your breath. This is much harder than it sounds. I, after all, am the person who had trouble with the savasana at the end of yoga class. You know, the corpse pose? You lie down and after a couple of minutes of silence you are supposed to be restored. Who can't be a corpse for two minutes? This is probably the most important part of the class and yet I regularly ran out to check Instagram (or email if that sounds more legit). You see where this is going.

Back to day one, I breathed in and out and in and out. When I was about to hyperventilate, I decided to repeat the mantra, as we were instructed, but realized I forgot it. I then opened my eyes to check how much time was left. I had been meditating for three minutes, so sad. By the time Deepak said, “you can now open your eyes” my eyes were long opened.  While I felt a little lame, I also felt somewhat proud that I had tried. I told myself I’d keep my eyes closed the next day. However, the next day I had early clients and my plan to meditate later in the day didn’t pan out.

So today marks 1 week since I started. I’ve “meditated” four times. I could say meditation is not for me but despite being sort of pathetic at it- I enjoy it.  And probably the people who check email during meditation are the ones that need it most. I really hope this wishual becomes a ritual. Namaste.

Do you meditate? Was it difficult when you first started? Or, is meditation a wishual for you? Any other wishuals?