I’m so happy I was pregnant and had young children before Instagram

A close friend of mine is a psychiatrist (I’ll refer to her as M.D.) but she’s too professional to ever discuss her sessions. I do wonder if she’s encountering anything like:

M.D: Take me back to where this all started

Patient: Well, l I was in the womb.

M.D. And you have memories from this time?

Patient: I don't need memories, it's all on my mother's Instagram. 

M.D. Tell me more…

Patient: My mother documented her pregnancy, with me on social media. The legs over head to conceive, the WHOLE pregnancy, my bris (close up). It's all there for everyone to see.

M.D. So, she posted those “15 weeks, 16 weeks updates?

Patient: No, it is even more embarrassing than that. She counted hourly- it was “360^th hour, 361^st and so on.

M.D. And what is your first actual first memory?

Patient: It was my birthday, I was turning 3.

M.D. And you had a party or received a present?

Patient: Yes, there was a party and a beautiful, birthday cake. Guests sang happy birthday, I blew out the candles and there was clapping but my mom wasn’t happy, I didn’t know it, at the time but she didn’t like the photo. So, we did it again, not the whole party but the candle, the singing, the clapping. All I wanted was to taste my cake but we had to get the right photo.”

It’s cringe worthy for me, and it could just be me or that I’m at another stage, but the details and minutia of a pregnancy, then baby stages and then perfectly posed toddlers, I can’t. And I actually can’t. a) I don’t like to post too many photos of my kids as I don’t think people really want to see them and b) my kids would object, they’re of age now to do so. Are they kids or are they photo props? Correct me, if I'm wrong, but do any of you enjoy endless photos of pregnant friends or their children? Granted, most of my photos are of food. And I am guilty of postponing meals to document a photogenic salad or smoothie. And I have friends who roll their eyes at the meal pics. To each their own…. I guess.

To count or not to count?

If life can be divided into those who count and those who do not, I am a dedicated counter. I love my Fitbit, jump on the scale every morning (not more than that, promise) and prefer Flywheel, the spin studio that gives you stats, versus Soul. So, it only makes sense given my inclination to count that running would involve a state of the art GPS watch providing me with pace, distance and everything else one would like to know about a workout.

However, you may recall I was burned by my Garmin GPS watch. In a marathon in a semi-remote location, my Garmin didn’t get signal. It wasn’t a great race for a number of reasons but any normal person would go to plan B and run based on perceived exertion but I was lost. I had relinquished any sense of what a certain pace felt like as I relied on my ex-friend Garmin to tell me if I needed to speed up or slow down. I also lost a lot of the pleasure that comes from running. I always wanted to be one of those people who ran a race and yet stopped to take photos but thought, “how are they sacrificing those precious minutes?” As if I were an Olympian and minutes made any difference.

This summer I look a different approach. Marc and I are signed up for a race that basically involves running up and down a mountain; one doesn’t do this type of terrain for time. And in a major departure, I’ve been running without a watch. I’ll go out for an hour or two hours without concerning myself about pace or exact distance.

When you’re not fixated on your watch you start to look around

In the course of my training I happened to  receive a Timex watch in the mail as a thank you or a project we participated in. I use it just as a simple stopwatch. I don’t stop it when I break for water or any of the other silly games I used to play. Just start and stop.

I am by no means defecting into the no-count camp. I’m wearing my Fitbit as I type this and will get on the scale this morning. I tell clients to take a break from weighing themselves when they are scale prisoners. When numbers cause you to be in a bad mood or zap pleasure from an activity or day, it’s time to make a change. Now, I need to get over carrying my phone to take pictures as I run…

Are you a counter or a non-counter? What do you count? Has your counting ever crossed the line? Do you run with a watch?

Top 10 Signs You Are An Instaslave

Off the bat I’ll say that I carefully consider my smoothie and juice ingredients so that the finished product will not only taste good but also so that it’s pretty. Greens in a carroty juice? Looks like sludge. And while I could lie and say I just like my food to be attractive, oftentimes I want it photogenic. And I’m not alone. I know this is the case because I read about a “tie dye smoothie” on Well and Good where you rinse the blender in order to make a multicolor final product hmn. Read the questions below to see if you are an “instaslave”:

1. Do you find yourself hoarding reclaimed wood so that you can rest your edible creations on it?
2.  Even though smoothies are consumed with a straw do you decorate the surface with gojis, kiwis and other camera-friendly foods?
3. Do you get manicures so that those paws grasping your green juice or smoothie bowl will not detract from your pictures? Carolyn’s friend says the hashtag to used in these cases is #nailed it
4. Do you request cappuccino art from your barista and snap coffee photos?
5. Do you take selfies?  I mean do you take more than a few or who are we kidding more than 10 selfies until you get one you like? At an event when Snack Queen and I tried to selfie she told me she had the best "selfie "arms". 
6. It actually seems the “shoefie” is the new selfie but true instaslaves probably know that up and coming is the “shelfie” for new book releases (for LBT we had the #lbtlookbook, I’ll admit shelfie more catchy).
7. Do you race with friends to be the first to post something insta-worthy? OR are you like one of our fabulous Foodtrainers’ interns and make a pact with friends to stagger posts so that you’re not all duplicating each other?
8. Do you strategically wait for those key times to post when you think you’ll get the most likes (Steph the  instaslave savvy intern informed me this was definitely a thing)
9. Do you sulk when you start eating before capturing the “before” image of your meal?
10. And finally, do you speak in #hashtags. Perhaps you even caught the Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake hashtag skit

Someone told me they had life envy for me I told them it definitely isn’t real life they were envying. I just hope I’m not guilty of #instabrag, I have to have good #instamanners.

Are you on instagram? Twitter or Facebook? How many on this list are you guilty of? Do you find this all silly or a little scary?

How To Look Your Best In Photos (from someone who usually doesn't)

This is probably my author photo. I was told if giving diet advice I have to look approachable, do I?

I’m fine in front of the camera if I’m being interviewed (and thus talking) or if I’m with my kids, as they relax me, but when it’s just me standing there trying to look natural? Eek. I recently took photos for my book The Little Book of Thin (due out in January, just saying). The photographer, Douglas Gorenstein, is someone I have worked with a few times but photo shoots are still not my cup of tea. I know some people have their signature pose or never take a bad picture but I’m not one of those people. I have no idea what my good angles are, do you? If you’re jetting off on a summer trip or if lousy photos upset you... have no fear, Doug is here.

As a professional headshot photographer my job is to take amazing images of my clients that show them looking like themself on a really great day. Whether it’s for corporate websites, acting or personal use, achieving this  “great day” look entails using exceptional lighting, a brilliant make up artist, photographing from flattering angles and making each person feel relaxed in order to bring out their true personality.  But what do you do to look your best when just having random photos taken with mediocre lighting, hastily applied make up (if any) or when it’s not necessarily a great day? Here are a few tips that will help you take control and look even better in those impromptu photo moments:

Avoid double chins with the turtle

One great trick is to push your nose and chin forward towards the camera. It might feel exaggerated or turtle-like but for most people it helps contour jaw lines and is flattering on camera. The tendency is to pull your chin up and back when smiling in photos which results in double (or triple) chins. So take some practice shots, nose forward and you’ll see a big difference.

Beneath me

If you get squinty when smiling, try popping your eyes open a bit more. Easy there, not so much that you look bug eyed but just enough to show off your eyes. Also if you can get the person photographing you to be slightly above your head shooting from downward angle that will also help to open eyes. Having the photographer shooting downward is also slimming (bonus). If you’re a blinker, ask for a 1, 2, 3 count so that you can have your eyes open at the right moment.

Boxy Isn’t Best

When you see woman on the red carpet they are never standing with their bodies straight on to the camera as that tends to look boxy. They are always on a bit of an angle with one foot forward for a more flattering look. Your back arm can be on your hip and also looks good at the side. Red carpet or not leave boxy to football players and put your best foot forward for a more flattering photo.

Time to Make-up

If you’ve never had a lesson on how to do your own make-up it might be beneficial to learn some tricks from a pro. I’m talking a real make-up artist not the salesperson at the department store counter. Knowing how to do your make-up properly will make you feel and look even more beautiful.

No faking it

When smiling in photos if you think of something that makes you feel happy it can help bring out a natural smile. If you aren’t smiling try to covey a real thought or message into the camera. You’ll avoid the forced smile or deer in the headlights look and instead will see a real authentic moment captured.

Let’s face it

Make sure to take great care of your skin everyday. Lauren can help you here but eat healthy, drink plenty of water and avoid lots of alcohol and smoking. If you get a facial, hair color or hair cut prior to taking photos it’s best to schedule these services 1-2 weeks prior.

I liked this one, others didn't like it as much. And trust me there were may blinks, funny faces and double chins.

Feel free to contact Doug at  212-967-2810 or Douglas@DouglasGorenstein.com with any additional questions. You can also check out his website. He makes the whole process fun, there were actually some shots my eyes were tearing from laughing so hard. 

Do you like having your picture taken? Have you ever done headshots? What are the tricks that help you look better or relax?

I will see you in September. I am on vacation next week (hopefully will take some nice photos/thanks to Doug). After Labor Day I’ll be back with regular posts. If there’s a topic you want covered please let me know. And congratulations to our Sinless mix winner Lauren Luhrs, enjoy your winnings.

Douglas Gorenstein is New York photographer specializing in headshots and portraits for actors, authors, celebrities and business professionals. He serves as the photographer for Celebrity Apprentice and was voted “Favorite Headshot Photographer in New York” by the readers of Back Stage.

Weight Loss Confessions from Behind the Cafe' Car Curtain

Yesterday, I boarded the aptly named Amtrak “Vermonter”. I was home for the week to see clients, do some much-needed, post ski grooming but looked forward to getting back to Vt. Weirdly, I love traveling by train. I book the business class car, connect to Wifi, get a ton of work done, and as you travel further North, the scenery is beautiful. The only issue yesterday was that the only open seats in the car were the closest to the café’ car. I was hesitant as I’m completely smell-averse, what I didn’t realize was the insider peak into other customers’ food orders, requests and confessions I was about to be privy to.

I took my comfy, maroon seat and decided to have lunch before I edited our resolution-themed January newsletter. I was convinced that the passenger across the aisle, we’ll call him “Cruise” was giving me weird looks as I made my way through the kale salad and multigreen kombhucha I brought with me. I also had a chuckle as I heard the first café’ order which happened to be a woman ordering a Bud Light at 11:40am. Maybe her resolution was “drink earlier”.

 As the trip continued I was disheartened listening to “Cup of Noodles please”, “DiGiorno Pizza” and “pack of peanut M&Ms”. I will give a shout out to the man who clutched his aluminum mug (the curtain was temporarily open) and asked if there was a tap for water. There was and I was thrilled he wasn’t directed to the bathroom faucet, ick. I was having fantasies of pulling open the curtain handing out business cards and the snacks in my purse (health warrior bar, oloves and chia butter).

Throughout the ride passengers, in the car, made phone calls. It amazes me what people will say knowing full well that not only can others hear but also that, chances are, they are listening. For a long hour early on Meyer Weiss announced himself on his phone. He had one of those rockin’ earpieces and talked about a new CEO, Japanese markets, and a trip to Mexico… if SNL is casting a dorky, corporate guy, I’d look this guy up. 

Then, the somewhat rough and tumble person across the aisle, Cruise, took to his phone.  First call, I heard a prescription order and was immediately more interested than I had been in any of Meyer’s calls. The next call, to whom I now gather was the girlfriend, first reminded her “you better not be late to the train I’ve been on this thing since 10 in the damn morning”. Part of me hoped she would never pick him up, at all, after talking to her like that but I listened on. There was a mention of less booze and more church. I could’ve sworn I heard something about a cruise and a speedo but assumed I eavesdropped incorrectly. I heard bits as I was ironically emailing with Carolyn about a Today segment she was prepping for on…resolutions of course.

Cruise got up and went into the café, closing the curtain behind him. He ordered water and then added, to the person taking the order,

 “Yeah I’m going on this cruise with my girlfriend, no booze till the cruise man and that’s not till March.”

“See, I’m wearin’ this speedo, ok so it’s not a speedo but it’s tight.”

I promise, I tried not to pay attention…impossible. 

“My girl" she got me this bathing suit and it was super tight you see I was a 34 and now I’m like a 38.”

 “ I sent her to return it but she didn’t right away and then it was too late.” “So now I’m losin’ and eatin’ right and all that shit.”

All I wanted was a photo of Cruise to post here but I wimped out. I even tried to get a photo via reflection in my window as I feigned snapping a sunset pic. I turned the flash off and still no good. I’ve written about “pre beach” and swimsuit slim downs and never, ever would someone like Cruise be in my mind as my potential audience. And yet, chauvinism and misogyny aside, he has his specific goals, a timeline, means to his "end".  With clients I've learned,  you can never know in advance who is going to be determined and succeed and who will not. Or who will order the mid day drink or who wants to slim down. We don’t know what will cause us to turn things around and whose resolutions will stick…so we have to try and see.

If you were designing a café car menu for Amtrak, what would you offer? Do you think men are as focused on weight as women and just talk about it less? Would you have had the guts to snap a photo of Cruise? Finally, we have a hashtag email us #ResPledge @Foodtrainers your resolutions and we'll help keep you honest.