I had my 20th high school reunion this past Saturday (which makes me 38 years old, I’ll save you the math). Between Facebook and the fact that my high school is local, there wasn’t a great deal of suspense. Nonetheless, emails circulated among a few of my good friends, we pledged solidarity and a “pre-drink” and sent in our RSVP cards. In mid October I received an email from one of these friends asking what we planned to wear. In the midst of a couple of crazy work weeks, the reunion and wardrobe hadn’t crossed my mind. It occurred to me that people care a lot about reunions; I should know this because I help clients slim down for these events. So why was something that’s semi-important for others not on my radar and why do these gatherings hold such significance?
After giving it some thought, a reunion can be a chance at reinvention. Maybe you were an average student but now super successful or you were unattached and now happily married. Or, you have something new: new hair, a new physique or even new ta-tas. A reunion can be a chance to flaunt the improved you and hope others replace the high school image with the updated one (which they really can’t). There’s also the flipside. Reunions can create pressure to weigh what you did in high school or make good on the promise you once showed. Undoubtedly, the stress this creates results in some people skipping the reunion altogether. And let’s not forget the strategy of using a reunion to “reunite”. Some of the single folks at our reunion headed into the room with a younger years’ event for this exact reason.
When I think of these variables, I realize why Saturday night wasn’t that important to me. Flat iron and wrinkles aside, I don’t think I look all that different from 1991. I didn’t get any “who are you again” or gasps when I said hello. Though I had a fondness for bagels (with cream cheese and bacon!) back in the day, I don’t think my career as a nutritionist is all that shocking. And my high school boyfriends didn’t go to my high school, so no butterflies. This description sounds pretty boring it was interesting to take stock. When I think about the others at the reunion, there really weren’t many surprises. Perhaps what you’re like in high school is a good indicator of what you’ll be like later in life. One thing has changed. In high school and in life, I’ve always had clear skin. The morning of the reunion I woke up with an Everest-ian zit. Is it fair to get wrinkles and pimples at the same time?
Have you attended any of your high school or college reunions? Did you diet beforehand? Do you feel people change very much from their high school self?
I skipped the 10 year reunion... I just didn't have much motivation to go. My boyfriend all through HS (now my husband) went to the rival HS so I was always at his house or watching his games. I have more friends from his class than my own =)
ReplyDeleteI can think of quite a few people from my class who we're quiet and shy and ended up to be very successful (all physicians interestingly enough). That's the biggest change I see.
We skipped both my and my husband's high school reunions. Frankly, Facebook takes away most of the reason to go. I keep in touch with the high school people I care about, and we can all see what we look like in the pics we post. But because I attend the reunions at the school where I work, I do overhear lots of conversations among the attendees about their pre-reunion prep including diets, facial touch-ups, boob touch-ups. I also overhear the snarking about how people look, so I get the compulsion to "do something".
ReplyDeleteThe ever-changing skin that hits in the late 30s is the worst. Such conflicting feelings when I put on my anti-aging and my anti-acne products at the same time. I hope I've changed since high school! I was such a dork.
This is a terrible thing to say, but I totally "friended" an old classmate on Facebook once to see the new ta-tas. I laughed out loud at that line. My 10-year reunion is still 2 years away but I might go. I love finding out what people are up to, though I suppose the internet takes away some of the mystery.
ReplyDeleteI skip all reunions...mostly because I hated high school and have little interest in seeing people I didn't particularly care for.
ReplyDeleteHow cool that your reunion was at Chelsea Piers! I now know that ice rink like the back of my hand. :)
Ameena, reuinion would've been more fun at the ice rink. Jess- you didn't friend someone to see their newly acquired boobies, did you? Marie- I really do look like a teenager lately and not in a good way. Lisa- funny there are schools and parts of our lives we are more/less connected to.
ReplyDeleteI haven't attended any reunions yet. I'm not sure if I will or not. I miss some of my friends, but my best buddies were all a year ahead or behind me. Oh well... I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
ReplyDeleteLauren, That was a fun read!
ReplyDeleteWhat could have been interesting in a reunion would have been to see how much people have grown inside. Unfortunately, the format of most reunions allows only to survey skin, weight and titles.
Thanks Ayala. I do think in talking to people you can get a sense of "the place" they are in and people can mellow or develop over time. I guess by not changing I meant do extroverts become introverts? Do caring or nurturing people become tough and insensitive? Once a dumb jock (I know I know many jocks are smart) always a dumb jock? And are the "changes" or the "same-ers" more or less likely to attend.
ReplyDeleteOh man I really miss those cream-cheese-and-bacon bagels.
ReplyDeleteN- I think that is a combo unique to HM.
ReplyDeleteHope you had fun...I went to my 10th and then no more....
ReplyDeleteCarrie, this may have been my "no more" not all that curious or interested any more.
ReplyDeleteWe live on the other side of the country from where we both grew up so unfortunately we missed our high school reunions. But like you said, with facebook I don't feel like I missed out - I'm still friends with a lot of people from high school (it was small, only 90 people in my grad class) but it still would have been fun! When we go home for visits I always make sure to connect with those I'm close to :)
ReplyDeleteI had my five-year reunion this past summer, and I opted out - mainly because I still hate 99% of the people. I doubt that I will attend any reunions in the future, either. As much as I would love to reinvent myself (actually, I am already reinvented because I am not the same person I was in high school), I don't feel like I have to prove anything to the people from my class. They aren't worth my time.
ReplyDeleteThis is all based on a very mean, angry, drunk group of people with whom I graduated. Not to be generalized to all high school graduation classes.
http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
Pimples and wrinkles-Oy vay! That is one of the least fun parts of being a "certain age." I went to my 10 year reunion, but not my 20 year. Sure, there were a few people who changed dramatically, but for the most part people were pretty much the same. I don't remember it to well, but I probably bought a new outfit for the occasion, but certainly didn't diet beforehand. I think it was more fun for me to go to my husband's reunion, because he and I went to the same high school, only I graduated 5 years before he did, and my mom was his 10th grade English teacher, so everyone at his reunion knew my mom (and she had a reputation as one of those teachers you really didn't like in High School, but appreciated later in life :-)
ReplyDeleteBonnie, I think many people are happy to close some doors. EA- what a funny story so did you know your husband in high school? I can't see you (from the blogosphere) dieting for an event, you're too sane.
ReplyDeleteI've never been to one except to meet up with two girls from school. I went to a Department of Defense school in West Germany from 79-82. Because military life is so different, we have all-school reunions rather than by graduation year. The reunions move around the country. Next year it is back in Ludwigsburg, where our school was turned over to the Germans but they let us in to weep and squeal over our memories.
ReplyDeleteI've never been to any reunions. I'm not sure that I'd want to. I don't know. I don't think that I'm the same person that I was in high school. I was so tentative in high school, and now I speak my mind. But I'm still a bit chubby. Ha!
ReplyDeleteThe deaf community is so small that every time I go to a deaf event, it is literally a reunion. I never went to an actual reunion though. First one I couldn't make it and would have not gone even if I was able.
ReplyDeleteI really wouldn't go to any future ones. I am still getting over my horrible high school experiences.
I have not been to any reunions. I am in touch with the high school friends that I care enough about to want to see. Others? Not so much! I don't think my high school really cares either. There was no 10 year reunion and no 15 year reunion (which would have been this year). Maybe someone will muster up enough enthusiasm to plan our 20th. Certainly wont be me!
ReplyDeleteInteresting I see a connection between bloggers and a lack of reunion enthusiasm or maybe most people don't have reunion enthusiasm.
ReplyDeleteMy first reunion is coming up next year but I am in a wedding this month where there will be a lot of people from high school there. For me, I really want to look good. I really don't know why it should matter, but I guess it's extra motivation.
ReplyDeleteI moved far away from my high school (and high school reunions)! So, i only keep in touch with the handful of people I already want to know about. I ix-nayed Facebook for the same reason that I wasn't really either friends or enemies with most people I went to school with.
ReplyDeleteI definitely couldn't see being nervous though- I was "myself" during high school and I am always "myself" now, so nothing to hide here!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
ReplyDeleteNo reunions for me. Too far to travel and not enough good memories to re-live. Maybe someday though. You never do know.
andrea- I hear you, lots of high school haters here. Nat, I love the you are who you are and were like that in high school (unusual). Kristen, I think you're in the majority and something I expected to hear more of. Most people, maybe those who liked high school, care about how they look etc.
ReplyDeleteI think Facebook really did a number on reunions. I didn't go to my 10. My 20 is in 3 yrs and I doubt I'll go...mostly because I am already in touch with everyone I want to be in touch with. Also, my hometown depresses me.
ReplyDeleteI think people can change. But I think drastic changes are rare &often a result of either hitting rock bottom, experiencing tragedy or making bazillions of dollars.
I would like to think I'm a less emotional, more refined version of my 18yo self. I'm very much still the same. I did become mote callous and dismissive since moving to NYC...and in high school I was a big hippie. Maybe I have changed?
Ooh cameo the hippie, who knew? Changes the result of "hitting rock bottom, experiencing tragedy or making bazillions" um love that.
ReplyDeleteI didn't go to any of my reunions...something was always going on..the friends I have found through Facebook say that I look like myself...just older of course. :)
ReplyDeleteThe older comment is funny Ayala. I was at a party today and I was told the older women were at one end, younger at other and I should sit in the middle, do I am medium I guess :)
ReplyDelete