When it comes to kids and weight, is it always best to shut your mouth?

In the time I’ve been practicing nutrition I’ve become a mother twice (three times if we count Bronco). I’ve seen clients have children and younger children grow up. I’ve had clients refer their parents to me and of course parents “urge” children, of all different ages, to start Foodtraining. The weight dynamic within families is something Carolyn and I spend a lot of time sorting out.

Last week, I read a letter a father submitted to Social Q’s in the Times. His letter opened with “my 9-year-old daughter is fat” ouch, no mincing words with that sentence. The father felt his daughter was old enough for a dialog about making good choices and indicated that his wife disagreed. “She worries about the effect on our daughter’s self-esteem.” Philip Galanes blasted the father in his response. He pointed out the father’s bluntness, lack of apparent love and interest in how his daughter’s weight reflected on him. He warned this father that he would increase the chances of developing an eating disorder. While I cannot think of many things worse than telling a child they’re “fat” I feel many parents are so scared of “creating an eating disorder” that they often say nothing.  While cruel, critical parents can fuck children up – ignoring food and weight has its own consequences. 
Some advice:

You are likely “that kind of parent”

Every parent who calls my office opens with “I’m not one of those crazy parents”. Of course they are, we all are. Most parents worry and don’t always say things in the best way, our thoughts aren’t always pure.  Do some work (perhaps with your own expert) to sort out how your “stuff” around food affects your parenting. Did you have a parent that was weight obsessed? Or critical? Have you struggled with body image and want to shield your children from the same? Are you embarrassed to have a chubby child? You must be clear on this in order to really help your children.

Cook and teach your children to cook (or assemble)

There are few things better for kids and teens than home cooking. Not only is home-cooked food overall healthier, it’s less salty and sweet and doesn’t invite overeating as takeout or restaurant food does. And whether it’s putting peanut butter on a banana or making an omelet, simple cooking skills will encourage children reaching for healthier items versus packaged snacks. And do what you can, if this can only happen on the weekends, that’s a start. If the person cooking with your child is a babysitter or grandparent- that’s totally fine.

Outsource

The exact same advice will be interpreted differently depending on who it comes from. Whether it’s a nutritionist, psychologist or doctor (though I have to say many pediatricians are a bit too cut and dry when discussing weight for my taste), it’s best that someone else suggests steps to take. Parents can support the advice provided by an expert.

And finally, choose honesty over political correctness

With everything our children are exposed to do you really think you can avoid the weight/size topic?  If you’ve struggled with your weight, discuss this with your children. Ask your children how they feel about their size (height, weight etc.) and depending on their response ask if they want help making changes.

And, for the record, I have a weight issue in my midst. Bronco is overweight. And my babysitter gets upset with me with I call the Boston Terrier “fat”.

Relax, it's not really even a soda ban.

Source: Grist

In case you haven't heard, Mayor Bloomberg has proposed what some are referring to as a soda ban in NYC.  Bloomberg has suggested that movie theaters, restaurants, stadiums and food carts limit soda size to 16 ounces. Bodegas and markets will continue to sell sodas of all sizes. While it's hard to believe that 16 ounces (over a can’s worth) of soda is limiting even more alarming to me is the degree of pushback this is receiving. Our government has decided BPAs are safe, it permits food dyes banned in other countries and has yet to notify the public when our food is genetically modified. So when someone takes food seriously and tries to enact positive change, I'm going to support it.

A little background, half the US population over two years old consumes sugary drinks daily and these beverages account for approximately 8% of our calorie intake. The average male teen gets close to 20 teaspoons a day from soda. We would find it strange if you ordered wine in a restaurant and the waiter poured the whole bottle into your glass but this

 is totally acceptable. We’ve learned from Brian Wasink’s research that intake is highly dependent on the size of the food presented. Of course the Beverage Association sees no problem with soda and had this to say, “It's time for serious health professionals to move on and seek solutions that are going to actually curb obesity. These zealous proposals just distract from the hard work that needs to be done on this front."

Nice attempt at passing the buck, this sounds like my children arguing,  “I didn’t do it, he did it”.  I’m a serious expert, or at least an expert, who would love to get more involved as would many of my collegagues. I’ve written about soda and sugar extensively. How about they make smallersize their nasty (told you I wasn’t “serious”) sodas and experts can educate and discuss why this and other ways to limit sugar is important. Obesity and simply better health needs everyone’s cooperation. Speaking of which, the first National Soda Summit, organized by the Center for Science in the Public Interest is being held in DC next week, if you’re looking to learn more that sounds like a good start.

Aside from the beverage industry, there’s also the nanny state objection-that government shouldn’t tell us what to eat.  I’m sorry to say but they already are (see image above for a little refresher) and that’s why sodas are the size of a bottle of Clorox bleach and for many people fresh vegetables are unaffordable. The Atlantic, in an especially whiny piece, suggested that the focus should be on access to healthy food versus banning. How about both? Measures should be taken to increase access to wholesome food and decrease the size of sodas, nobody is taking soda away. The truth is, the power of the soda people may thwart Bloomberg’s plans to have the Department of Health pass this. Talk about politics, if I’m choosing a “nanny” I would take Bloomberg over the Beverage Association any day. And if you think we, as a country, don't need a nanny- what do you propose?
Are you in favor of or against Bloomberg's proposal? Do you think it will pass? 

love me a good infographic

Reunion Diet

I had my 20^th high school reunion this past Saturday (which makes me 38 years old, I’ll save you the math).  Between Facebook and the fact that my high school is local, there wasn’t a great deal of suspense. Nonetheless, emails circulated among a few of my good friends, we pledged solidarity and a “pre-drink” and sent in our RSVP cards. In mid October I received an email from one of these friends asking what we planned to wear.  In the midst of a couple of crazy work weeks, the reunion and wardrobe hadn’t crossed my mind. It occurred to me that people care a lot about reunions; I should know this because I help clients slim down for these events. So why was something that’s semi-important for others not on my radar and why do these gatherings hold such significance?

After giving it some thought, a reunion can be a chance at reinvention.  Maybe you were an average student but now super successful or you were unattached and now happily married. Or, you have something new: new hair, a new physique or even new ta-tas. A reunion can be a chance to flaunt the improved you and hope others replace the high school image with the updated one (which they really can’t).  There’s also the flipside. Reunions can create pressure to weigh what you did in high school or make good on the promise you once showed. Undoubtedly, the stress this creates results in some people skipping the reunion altogether. And let’s not forget the strategy of using a reunion to “reunite”. Some of the single folks at our reunion headed into the room with a younger years’ event for this exact reason.

When I think of these variables, I realize why Saturday night wasn’t that important to me. Flat iron and wrinkles aside, I don’t think I look all that different from 1991. I didn’t get any “who are you again” or gasps when I said hello.  Though I had a fondness for bagels (with cream cheese and bacon!) back in the day, I don’t think my career as a nutritionist is all that shocking.  And my high school boyfriends didn’t go to my high school, so no butterflies.  This description sounds pretty boring it was interesting to take stock.  When I think about the others at the reunion, there really weren’t many surprises. Perhaps what you’re like in high school is a good indicator of what you’ll be like later in life. One thing has changed. In high school and in life, I’ve always had clear skin. The morning of the reunion I woke up with an Everest-ian zit. Is it fair to get wrinkles and pimples at the same time?

Have you attended any of your high school or college reunions? Did you diet beforehand? Do you feel people change very much from their high school self?

Controversial Diet Book for Young Girls

We do not see children under 12 at Foodtrainers. My feeling has always been that parents versus children make most food decisions, prior to that age. If necessary, I will consult with parents of young children or refer them out to a therapist if I feel a serious issue exists.  My reaction to an upcoming book entitled “Maggie Goes on a Diet” about a 14-year-old losing weight may surprise you.

We’re away in San Francisco and I was just getting up after a long day (actually two days) of travel yesterday. My husband called me over to the TV saying, “you’ve got to see this.” George Stephanopoulos was interviewing the author (plus, plus-sized himself) about his controversial new book. I don’t recall but the subtitle was something like “diet book for young girls.” I watched the segment, did some research googling and came to the conclusion this isn’t a terrible idea, it’s just an unfortunate title.

For starters, this is not really a diet book at all. In the story, with cartoon-like illustrations, Maggie is overweight 14 year old is subject to teasing from her friends at school. Maggie joins the soccer team and starts to make healthier food choices. She ends up the star of the soccer team, loses some weight and feels better about herself. I think the word diet sends the wrong message because it insinuates something severe. On one of the message boards a comment read “what’s next lingerie for 12 year olds?” This implies that something inappropriate is written about. What’s described isn’t severe and isn’t unlike what I would do if a 14 year old came to my offices.

Those buying the book are primarily parents, if I had overweight child and wanted to broach the topic of weight loss this may not be a bad conversation starter. I have a tween son and there’s a book my friends suggested when having “the talk”.  There’s something nice about reading “a story” or looking at pictures to open a dialog up with children. I’m a proponent of telling my kids about things my way before their peers give them the wrong information or they have fear about something they don’t know about.

Why not explain to kids what a diet is, why we may gain and lose weight, why people are different sizes and how to be sensitive about this? The notion that this will create eating disorders is ludicrous to me. Children are more likely to pick up on disordered eating my watching a parent “diet” than my being informed about weight and food and exercise in an age-appropriate manner.  I talk to preschoolers about nutrition. Granted, I don’t talk to them about calories but I tell them how various foods function in their bodies, how activity helps their bones etc.

The author of “Maggie Goes on a Diet” previously wrote a book about bed wetting,

It seems his goal is to cover topics that affect a lot of children but may be touchy to discuss. Some have mentioned that Paul Kramer has no degree in nutrition but this isn’t a nutrition book. And from his size, perhaps (and I don’t know this for a fact) he has some experience growing up overweight. I will buy “Maggie Goes on a Diet” when it comes out in October even with the silly title.

Have you heard about this book? What are your thoughts about it? Do you think it’s OK for a teenager to lose weight in a controlled manner?