There was a time when I loved reading the wedding
announcements in the Sunday Times. What’s odd about this is that I have never
been particularly wedding-y but I enjoyed reading about how people met, looking
at the photo to see if the couple seemed “evenly matched”, hearing whether
these strangers had married or divorced parents. It’s amazing what you can
surmise form a couple of paragraphs. A few years ago I realized that many of
those taking the plunge were younger
than me. All of the brides and bridegrooms (weird term) were five, seven
sometimes over ten years younger and then the wedding pages started to depress
me. So I moved onto the “Modern Love” column and only glance over at
“Weddings/Celebrations”, hooray for the rise in gay weddings. On July 1,
an article in Sunday Styles caught my eye before I could turn to “Modern Love”. It was called “The Picky Eater Who Came To Dinner.”
The main premise of the article is that people adhering to
all different eating regimes (you notice I didn’t say diet…yet) can make
socializing a challenge. “Our appetites are stratified by an ever-widening
array of restrictions: gluten free, vegan, sugar free, low fat, low sodium, no
carb, no dairy, meatless, wheatless macrobiotic, probiotic, antioxidant,
sustainable, local and raw.” While I would argue that probiotic and antioxidant
were added so that the author could make her list longer (who calls themselves
probiotic?) the point is that this is a lot to think about if you’re the one
hosting.
The first question is whether it’s up to the host to cater
to everyone’s restrictions or preferences. I always feel that guests need to
air on the side of not making waves but the article suggests “the locus of
responsibility has moved from the eater to the hostess.” I’m not sure if I
agree with that “locus shift” but what happens if the host asks about your
eating? How much should we divulge? I know the stress eating around a
nutritionist can evoke. If I ever said “ I don’t eat wheat, I only eat organic
produce, wild fish and grass fed meat friends would rightfully run the other
way. I think it’s fair game to state any
allergy and give one “no” if asked “I don’t eat meat” or “I can’t have
gluten” shouldn’t be off putting. It’s good to follow it up with “but I’ll be
fine with anything”, even if untrue, or “please do not worry about me, I would
never have mentioned unless you asked.” Manners and healthy eating can coexist.
For me, restaurants are a different case. I cannot tell you
how gracious and knowledgeable chefs can be. From gluten free pasta at Maialino
to a tuna burger prepared sans wheat at Atlantic Grill, honoring a dietary
request goes a long way for customers and is somewhat expected. Whether at someone’s home or out your eating
regime, rules or diet (ha!) shouldn’t get in the way of you or your dinner
companions having a good time. People
will have plenty discuss after you say goodnight, who wants to be remembered as
picky? And the way things are going it’s only a matter of time before our
eating preferences make the wedding announcements. Sally Smith, a vegan from
Vermont, and Paul Perello, paleo from Portland, were married today…now that’s
modern love.
Do you inform a host
what you do or do not eat? Do you think that’s acceptable or rude? Are
restaurants different? Do you read marriage announcements in the newspaper?
