I am not writing about Gwyneth again but this story starts with her. Simon Doonan (perhaps you’ll recall his hilarious book Gay Men Don’t Get Fat) took issue with People calling Gwyneth the most
beautiful woman in the world or “MBWITW” and it’s not because he doesn’t think
she’s beautiful. Rather, Doonan suggests, via Slate, that efforts to improve your looks actually detract from beauty.
Her strenuous efforts to achieve perfection—thrashing around a
gym morning noon and night with Tracy Anderson and eating nothing but
plankton and kale juice—leave us all shrieking, “What would she look like if
you took away her battery of Pilates gurus and aura cleansers?
I’ll answer Doonan’s question, she’d still look great. Or
let’s ask Doonan how he’d look without a shower, haircut or the great looks he
puts together for Barney’s. Perhaps when women discuss their regimes, something
I applaud, it takes away from the mystique but even if it doesn’t involve kale
or exercise, most women have beauty rituals. Even Liz Taylor and Catherine
Deneuve who Doonan feel were worthy of MBWITH status didn’t roll out of bed
looking like that, please.
I’d argue that in order to be crowned the most beautiful woman
in the world, you should be living your life full-throttle rather than
tormenting yourself with some deranged, ascetic self-maintenance regimen. Non?
Part of me can see where Doonan is going with this. There
is nothing more beautiful that someone, seemingly carefree, enjoying their
life. However, why is it assumed that exercise involves torment? Personally, I
feel more deranged when I’m off my “regimen” than on it. Is Doonan talking
about his image of an ideal woman? It doesn’t seem he’s talking about real
women, that’s for sure.
And Doonan doesn’t stop, for someone who feels beauty
should be effortless, he sure has a lot of prerequisites. After fashion week he
remarked:
But the most beautiful woman in the world should also have a
cheeky demeanor and a decent rack. Sadly, these two attributes were in short
supply.
The Slate
article closes with Doonan’s request for entries into his MBWITW contest. I
wish I was capable of illustration because the woman Doonan describes is a
cartoon character with a rack and a smile, living her life full throttle. She’s
not just beautiful but “the most beautiful” and achieving this status is
effortless. She’s accepting the “pat on the head” and “goody bag” Doonan is
offering as MBWITW. I don’t know about you
but all of this makes me want to go out for a run and if that makes me ugly and
ascetic- awesome.
What do you think makes a woman beautiful? Why do you think exercise and food regimes, to the uninitiated, seem torturous? Do you think most women, even if they don't discuss it, have beauty or food systems?
