Look, Bethenny is the size of a four year old

I confess.  When I have to run out and walk the dog I’ll grab whatever is closest to the door. The results aren’t pretty. I may be in my husband’s flip flops or my 12 year olds sweatshirt. Despite the fact that I am the one leaving the house at the undesirable hour or in inclement weather, nobody in the family likes me wearing their stuff. “Why did you have to wear my sweatshirt mom?” I wanted to put that out there, to be fair, after I heard that Bethenny Frankel Instagrammed a photo of herself in her 4 year olds pajamas. As if the unfortunate outfit wasn’t enough the caption read “ think we’re ready to share clothes yet?”

I am open minded, I have no issue with the word skinny or skinniness. I even have fond memories of an impressive hello kitty collection (in second grade) but to answer Bethenny’s rhetorical and ridiculous question. No. Bethenny it’s not ok to share clothing with a pre-k child. And even when your child is 10 or 12 or 16 it is usually the child that borrows from the parent….unless you’re going to walk the dog. Wait, Bethenny you have a dog. Maybe you can try on her coat and post a picture for us to see.

What do you think about this? Dress up or disaster? 

Appearance or accomplishments, does it have to be one or the other?

Last week one of the major news stories was that that Hillary Clinton was photographed without makeup. At first it didn’t seen to matter that she was on a trip in Bangladesh where there has been weeks of strikes and violence. The photos spread like non-waterproof mascara. Then came the backlash pointing out the frivolity in Hilary’s “look” as major news. As I read this commentary the resounding message was that in 2012 appearance trumps accomplishments and looks shouldn’t matter…but they do.

Peggy Orenstein, author of Waiting for Daisy and Cinderella Ate My Daughter posted about the Hillary hubbub.

“Every choice a woman makes about her public presentation–how she dresses, how she wears her hair, whether she wears makeup and now whether she botoxes etc –makes a STATEMENT about who she is (as opposed to that statement being made by her actions, ideas, opinions etc) that is judged, scrutinized and held up for public consumption/discussion.”

Why must it be one or the other? Just because we take note of how someone looks does that mean we’re ignoring his or her “ideals and actions”? Isn’t communication part verbal and part non-verbal? Why does it have to be one or the other?

Orenstein goes on to compare the Clinton situation to a New York Times Magazine article exploring the concept of women being “marked.” The original article discusses men able to blend a bit more. Their hair, clothing, even shoes tend to be more similar. There isn’t a typical female hairstyle or singular way to dress. And so each choice a women makes can send a message and lay the groundwork for judgment.  I tweeted to Ms Orentstein

@peggyorenstein enjoyed that piece however some of what makes women "marked" also makes being female interesting and full of choices.

Sometimes women play both sides of the fence. Around the same time Hillary decided to forego foundation in other world news Perez Hilton tweeted @BethenyFrankel says "I’m not too thin". Say what you will about my curiosity but I clicked through and read “There are stories are everywhere that I'm too thin. When will the media see women for their accomplishments instead of their weight and appearance?" Is this question less valid coming from someone whose accomplishments were primarily building a company called Skinnygirl? Can you talk about skinniness and then downplay appearance?

I happen to work in an aesthetics-oriented business. My clients are women in all different professional spheres. Some will mention, “I’m up for a promotion and want to feel good” I see countless examples of the intersection between appearance and accomplishments. Hillary was asked about the photos by CNN and said

"I feel so relieved to be at the stage I’m at in my life right now. Because you know if I want to wear my glasses I’m wearing my glasses. If I want to wear my hair back I’m pulling my hair back. You know at some point it’s just not something that deserves a lot of time and attention." It definitely doesn’t deserve attention that should be focused on international relations and democracy abroad. However, I like that Hillary underscores the choices she has and don’t be surprised if you see her all glammed up in the next pictures that are circulated.
Do you think we focus more on how women look than what they do? Does it matter if it's an image-conscious person or a politician? Is it realistic to say looks shouldn't matter? Or are we going to "look" anyway?
Oh and Ms Orenstein and I exchanged a few tweets. Her hope was that women use these choices to positive ends versus judging other women and being negative.

Skinnygirl or Suspicious Girl?

In case you haven’t heard (or do not really care and I get that) Bethenny Frankel’s Skinnygirl Margarita was yanked from the shelves of Whole Foods because it contains sodium benzoate. And in case you don’t know who Bethenny Frankel is she was on Bravo’s Real Housewives of NYC (though then not a housewife or wife) and the author of “Naturally Thin” though you can decide if natural is the first word that comes to mind with Bethenny. Skinny and natural don't always go hand and hand.

 I’ll try and stick to the food/drink part, sorry.

What is sodium benzoate and is it bad?
Sodium benzoate is a preservative, the salt of benzoic acid. CSPI, The Center for Science in the Public Interest, ranks additives and puts it in the “caution” category. The real danger occurs when sodium benzoate is combined with ascorbic acid (aka vitamin C). The two combine to form benzene which is linked to leukemia and other cancers. Many fruits, including the limes in Skinnygirl margaritas, contain ascorbic acid. But Skinnygirl says they use a “miniscule amount” of sodium benzoate. As CSPI points out,  not specifically on the subject of Skinny girl “though the amounts of benzene that form are small, leading to only a very small risk of cancer, there is no need for consumers to experience any risk.” You’ve heard me point out that companies justify sub par chemicals saying they are safe at a certain dose, safe is safe and unsafe is unsafe. Plus, neither Skinnygirl nor the FDA knows how many margaritas me or anyone else plans to drink. 

“It’s a very common preservative.”
Beam, the company who supplies the margarita noted that sodium benzoate was “a very common preservative.” Is “common’ supposed to reassure us?  This ingredient is commonly used in sodas. It was more common before the FDA encouraged companies not to use benzoate in products that contain ascorbic acid. The companies continued with the carcinogen. Then, a lawsuit filed forced Coca-Cola, PepsiCo, and other soft-drink makers to make necessary changes.  Other commonly used and crappy  things such as food dyes, high fructose corn syrup and textured vegetable protein aren’t healthy or “high quality” as these margaritas claim to be.

Where are the ingredients?
Skinnygirl’s website states “Bethenny’s Skinnygirl Margarita combines clear tequila, the juice from three lime wedges and a tiny splash of triple sec.” I guess listing sodium benzoate wouldn't exactly increase the appeal. I checked the bottle for the full ingredient list, which I assumed would contain sodium benzoate, but there isn’t one. If Skinnygirl, as the first paragraph on the site states, “is the margarita you can trust” why not list the ingredients? Hmn, I smell something fishy. 

The reaction
 Bethenny’s reaction also left a little to be desired: “we were bound to piss someone off and everyone loves to try to tear down a success. This is a non-event. I haven’t lost even a wink of sleep.” Whole Foods wasn't, in my opinion,  trying to tear her down, they just didn’t approve of the sodium benzoate. While, I'm sure it would involve a huge expense "we're looking into this matter and hope to find a substitute" would've been well received. VnCCocktails, mentioned in our latest newsletter, doesn't use sodium benzoate.

The bottom line

The truth is this is a margarita mix and not a children’s snack or a bunch of kale. We can improve cocktails but no matter how much we love them we shouldn’t drink too many if we want to be healthy. The concept of an improved margarita or a lower sugar, lower calorie cocktail is a great one. Bethenny deserves full credit for refining the recipe. In fact, as The Stir points out the original skinnygirl recipe “tequila, fresh lime juice, and a splash of Triple Sec over ice” is a real improvement over the mixes and sweet drinks used by most establishments. Bethenny’s fans describe her as “brutally honest” and not holding anything back. In the case of the Skinnygirl margaritas, full disclosure would’ve been refreshing.

Have you ever tried or purchased the Skinnygirl margaritas? Would knowing it has sodium benzoate affect your decision to buy a product? Are you a Bethenny fan?