Can you "cheat clean"?

I love reader questions.  This was a question that accompanied the photo above.

Lauren- this just appeared in my news feed.  When it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.  Can you "cheat clean?"

Where to start... yes, it might be possible to “cheat clean” if this refers to having some delicious and seemingly indulgent food without it leaving messy traces on your body. These traces could be temporary and take the form of bloat or perhaps they linger on our thighs or around the middle. Hu Kitchen’s amazing dark chocolate almond butter bar, Nibmor spiced hot chocolate and Bare Burger come to mind if I were to think of “clean cheats” but I don’t like this terminology at all.

In life or in food cheating and getting away with it doesn’t sound right. I may be a bitch but I’m not a cheat. Fibbing, lying or “fudging” aren’t in my repertoire. I much prefer the word treat to cheat. And of course there are foods and drinks that are treat-worthy. In The Little Book of Thin I explain Treat Training. Cheating leads to guilt, with treats the guilt is gone because you plan for these foods. You’re busy, I’m busy food and diet guilt is a waste of your time.

 And now for the ad in question. Is this cheating cleaning (there has to be a way to insert a drumroll sound)? You can look for yourself  but I spy sucralose (aka splenda) in these snack bars. If nuts, fruits and vegetables are “clean” foods, in this weird cleanliness analogy, splenda and all its fake sugar pals are dirty. This company may feel “low carb” and “gluten free” make it clean but I’m deeper than that. You’re not clean if you’re artificial deep down, not in my book.

We have a twitter chat tonight at 8pm #wellnesschat where I’ll discuss how to have your (holiday) cake and wellness too. Come join.

What do you think of “cheat clean”? Have you tried these bars? Do you like bars? And worthy treats, what are your favorites this time of year?

And in case you thought the cheating ad was bad, this is definitely worse. 

And no reader, it wasn’t your PMS that made you think so. "Surprise him with a new body" a topic for another rant or just gross.

Ten Things I Want My Boys To Know About Girls

"Get that body ready for your winter beach vacation!  Think about how you want to look at those holiday parties!  PICTURE HOW YOU’LL LOOK IN THAT DRESS!”

Those words don’t sound particularly offensive to me (I find them much better than the “earn your bagel” I heard recently in spin class) but they pissed another mom off. She was in a workout class and the instructor shouted them out. I’m sure the instructor was trying to motivate but Brynn Harrison thinks exercise, for herself and her daughter, should be for the love of it and not to fit in a dress. I say why do we have to choose?

My mother taught me how delicious homemade tomato sauce is, she enrolled me in tennis and swim lessons, she encouraged me to taste, see and do. My mother also worked really hard running her own business. She knew what matters (and still does) but when I close my eyes and picture my mother growing up she’s in white short shorts and a white top, with big round (white) sunglasses leaning against her sports car. My mom was a babe, I grew up aware of this but she was a babe who did it all.

Since when does delighting in what our bodies can do and what our senses can take in mean that feeling great in a dress or on the beach is off limits? It doesn’t. There is this trend in the blogosphere that holds that in order to shield young girls from all the body messaging they receive they need to solely focus on what their bodies can do.

As a mother of boys, I come across very little about boys and their bodies (thought I’m reading a great book now, more on that later) or the role boys can play in girls’ self esteem. I started thinking about what I wanted them to know about girls and later girlfriends and women:

10 things I want my boys to know about girls

1. Never think girls are either outdoorsy or glamorous. You have days you hang out in your PJs and nicer clothing for piano recitals.  A girl can love to go hiking and then want to feel pretty in a party dress.
2. If a girl asks you “how do I look” answer with “great” or “amazing” or if you don’t honestly think that find something to compliment…her outfit, her hair or her smile. Everyone likes compliments as long as they are truthful.
3. Watch how girls are with their friends, waiters and taxi drivers. Rude or mean isn’t ever cool or funny. And don’t ever be rude or mean to impress a girl.
4. People are not checklists.  You’re not looking for a certain look or a certain height you’re looking for a person that you think about when they’re not around.
5. When you’re with the right person you don’t have to choose between them and your friends.
6. You already have a shadow, look for someone who has things she likes to do. It’s even more fun if her hobbies aren’t the same as yours. If she doesn’t like to do anything…uh oh. And keep playing hockey and piano as long as you enjoy it.
7. You’re not a supermodel and chances are you will not date one. You’re handsome as can be but don’t have abs like the men’s magazines. Don’t expect any girl's body parts to look like Brooklyn Decker or Sophia Vergara (Myles wink, wink).
8. I know things move quickly these days but holding hands is never out of style, neither is holding the door open.
9. “I love you” is sacred but if you feel it always say it. 

And for the record, I liked most of what Brynn had to say to her daughter especially

"Nature rules.  And if you’re able to hike/run/bike/swim/ski/snowshoe, you can see more of it."

She would probably slap me but I’m putting on some tinted moisturizer and lip gloss before hitting the slopes today and I do care how my ski pants look and feel.

How did your parents inform you about your body growing up? Would you have been bothered by the fitness instructor’s words? Do you shy away from discussing the “outside” or looks with your daughter? What advice do you give your sons on all of this? 
I will be doing the amazing Sarah Stanley's Wellness Chat Thursday 12/12 at 8pm EST the topic is Breaking Old Holiday Habits, please join, ask questions etc.

Nobody Looks at You That Closely

I have an eyebrow lady. In case you thought bikini waxers were sadistic my eyebrow lady threads. I can’t tell you the exact technique, because my eyes are usually closed, but she extracts each errant eyebrow hair with a spool of thread suspended between her hands as if she’s ready for a game of cat’s cradle on my face.

 And as if this process isn’t awful enough, my eyebrow lady is a tough cookie. “You know, I could make your eyebrows beautiful if you didn’t tweeze between visits,” she concluded recently. “You mean at all?” I smelled a challenge but worried about my compliance. “That’s pretty hard, once I get in that magnifying mirror…”

Eyebrow lady (Shashi at Columbus Circle location of Shobha) had uncovered by dependency “Lauren, nobody looks at you that closely” she said pushing her hand flat up against her face to demonstrate. “That’s your problem”.  While I hadn’t anticipated a hair removal resolution, I took a vow of eyebrow abstinence, paid for my lecture/torture and left.

On my way to the juice place (seems I am still that 5 year old who received Pine Bros honey cough drops after the pediatrician, I like a reward for my pain) I thought about eyebrow lady’s somewhat wise words “nobody looks at you that closely”. Whether an eyebrow hair or underarm hair, the little extra that hangs over the side of your (ok my) jeans or those hangnails- I’m unconvinced our friends, coworkers or partners notice. They’re too busy think about their own hair, “extra”, ignored grooming or other issues.

So, I could tell you that I went home, unplugged the millionX mirror and that was that (not unlike the bathroom scale interventions I hold with clients) but that’s not what happened. I used the mirror to apply makeup and found myself newly obsessed with my dry skin but more accepting of my eyebrows (I call this vice swapping) but did not tweeze. Yesterday, I arrived for my threading appointment. Eyebrow lady was in the back when I checked in but I took a seat in her dentist-like chair. “You’re ready for me,” she said as she walked up.” “Yes, I’m ready for my compliments” I told her and smiled. I let her do her thing but couldn’t contain myself “so, what do you think?” I asked. “Well they’re not perfect yet but I’m excited, much better.” From the year that eyebrow lady and I have known each other, I knew this was high praise. It’s hard enough to feel good about ourselves but less time under the magnification and a little encouragement certainly made me feel better.

Do you use a magnifying mirror? Does it drive you crazy? Do you think others notice the little things we nitpick about ourselves? And have you been threaded?

What's Your Excuse (for not looking like me)?

 The photo above made its virtual rounds a month or two ago. I thought about blogging about it but didn’t. There was a part of me didn’t feel Maria Kang needed more attention. Then this weekend I received this from a reader.

Hi Lauren - hope you had an amazing Thanksgiving! After a day (ok 2 days) of indulgences, I stumbled across this story in the Daily News. It's definitely a touchy subject but I actually don't disagree with the woman who originally posted "what's your excuse”.  I hear a lot of excuses from friends and family about why they can't eat healthy, can't find time to exercise and after a certain point, it annoys me. A lot. Then guilt kicks in because I feel I'm being judgmental. It's complicated, but I do believe it's not difficult to make small changes that make a big difference! I find the whole thing rather interesting and thought it would be nice to hear your opinion a la blog post.

So here it goes. This woman, Maria Kang, has three young children and looks great. What she doesn’t look is relatable and the whole photo and tagline makes her seem like the mean girl. Her shtick, if you will, is shock. When I was choosing an author photo for the back of my book my publicist said, “if you are attractive and telling others what to eat you better be smiling and sound approachable or you’ll turn people off.” If “What’s your excuse” had a photo of a make-up less mom cooking a healthy dinner with kids carrying on OR had (as in the Nike ad) someone exerting themselves or showing their commitment, it would be different. However, when “what’s your excuse” has a nearly-naked gorgeous young mom, with three cute kids there’s no way I’m feeling inspired, I’m not calling myself on my excuses, instead I’m feeling defensive and angry.

When I heard Maria Kang interviewed she explained a rigorous routine and a difficult back-story. If it were just about the story, I know women would be curious. So this comes down to a matter of messaging. If you want to motivate friends or family members, as the reader above mentioned or simply are seeking motivation yourself, we need to check negativity, shame and our personal habits at the door. You cannot motivate others by saying "look what I do". 

I’ve talked about the importance of positivity and compassion before.

Some other ingredients for behavior change:

Accountability and support: In one Stanford study 1 phone call every 3 weeks resulted in 78% more exercise. Goal setting also helps; Carolyn enlisted me for the Runner’s WorldHoliday Running streak

after first checking to find out if this appealed to me which is key.

Sorting out "why" also matters. We don’t exercise or loose weight “because we should” we have to figure out what’s the reward or connection for each of us. One person’s skinny jeans s another person’s avoiding medication. Sure enough, in a study where women wrote down the things that were important to them they tended to eating less of the tempting but unhealthful foods that were offered in the lab after the exercise than those who did not. After two and a half months, they also weighed less, and had smaller waistlines than the other participants. The difference in the groups applied to both those with normal weight and those who were overweight.

We’re all tempted to judge and label, I know I’ve had moments of that on this blog and many more in real life. It’s OK for the reader and all of us to get judgy or annoyed when others don’t take care of themselves but if our goal is to help them the key is making it about them and keeping it kind. Nothing Maria Kang has said is designed to help others. “I want this to happen for you” or “we all make excuses” would've  been completely different. As for walking around in a sports bra…I have many excuses why I will never don the one black boob, one red if Maria wants to hear.

What motivates you to make health-related changes? Can you think of a person, ad or event that gave you a positive nudge? What do you think of what’s your excuse?”

You need this for Thanksgiving

As the word has started to spread about LBT, I have had a handful of people mention “I have a book I want to write” or “I started writing something but…” and the truth is although this book is happening, we all have projects and bucket list items some daunting, others annoying that we postpone. In our office, we’ve made lists of “food first aid kit” items for clients to bring on trips. Teas to combat “plane puffies” or fibrous foods to deal with ahem “vacation constipation” but oftentimes I worry whether clients will have time to gather their supplies before departure or if our snacks and supplements will be packed when there is dry cleaning to pick up, transportation to arrange etc.

With serious help from my fellow nutrition nerds we’ve developed our Foodtrainers' Food FirstAid Kit filled with everything you need to make it through Thanksgiving travel (or any other travel) unscathed. I am so excited about these kits as they've been on our project list for way to long. Whether you're traveling by plane or my car, you'll can have your nutcase if it's taking a little to long, a cup of deabloating tea after that holiday meal. From jet lag to leftovers (turkey on a GG cracker perhaps?) we have you covered.

But if you’d rather pack your own you can simply buy the kit I heard from a client who was stuck and used the kit as a clutch when away for work, they’re pretty cute.

I  cannot help you with overbearing relatives but snacks and nutrition “ammunition” that we can do.

And instead of facing the holiday with dread maybe think of a project you’d like to finish, a book you’ve been meaning to read or get started writing that book… Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.

Do you pack a “Food First Aid Kit”? What do you bring? And any healthy recipes you’re cooking for Thanksgiving?