Lent feels sort of like an anniversary for me at Foodtrainers; Lauren had posted a great blog years (omg .. many years) ago on Non-Religious Lent that introduced us. The rest is Foodtrainers history (appropriate that it’s Valentines day too L, xx).

There’s something really powerful about fully committing and giving something up for a period of time. I’m reading this book The Power of Habit (one of my new years resolutions: read more, insta less) and it turns out you really can rewire your brain but you have to start with a single thing. Don’t try to tackle on 15 changes at once.

I tried Dry January and in total honesty I failed (not miserably!).  So for our annual non-religious lent, I’d rather give up something a little outside the box— in the past it has been giving up elevators, plastic water bottles, and dating loser boys. This year I am giving up COMPLAINING, going on Instagram more than once a day, and snacking after dinner. I realize I said to start with one thing but I couldn’t decide.

Lauren is giving up staying up late (or late for her). As our Foodstalkees know, she’s up with the birds. To get her 7 hours she needs to skip the extra Shark Tank episode and hit the sack at 10:30. 

SO here’s your challenge: give up one thing starting this weekend through 3/27. Six weeks to better habits.

What’s it gonna be for #nonreligious lent? Leave us a comment and tweet us @Foodtrainers @carolynbrownRD and we will have your back. Happy #NRL

We’ll circle back when #NRL ends and let you know how we did.

When it comes to food, does guilt help?

from knockknockstuff.com, I can think of a few people this is perfect for

I didn’t grow up with guilt. I should say I didn’t grow up with parents who used guilt as a means to motivate. For whatever reason, we did our homework and wanted to do well in school….because we did. As an adult, I have friends, clients and family members who “lay guilt”. I see it as a roundabout attempt to get you to do something or think something that the other person sees as important. Since all roads lead to food for me I started thinking about food and guilt. Religion aside, no arena has more references to guilt than diets and eating. My question, with food and in life, is does guilt help?

One study in the journal of Health Education and Behavior divided women into groups based on their attitude regarding food. Those who were “guilt-ridden dieters” scored the highest in measures of body fat, BMI and body weight. In this case those with the highest guilt were the most likely to be all or nothing with weight loss efforts.  Once these women ate poorly, their self-talk led them to continue this behavior. This is similar to the study on self-compassion I’ve written about before in Treat Training.

 I was drawn to why one person feels guilt over food and another may not. For all I think about food, there isn’t a sense of negativity if I veer (oh not to worry there are plenty of other unproductive emotions I have to work on). My goal, in general, is to put the best foods in my body. This comes from a good place and creates the impetus to eat wholesome foods the majority of the time. So some of this is about framing. And some guilt is good. People “who do not exhibit a sense of remorse in the face of guilt are labeled psychopaths,” says one psychology site. So guilt and a sense of right and wrong can nudge us all to do the right thing in many different situations.  Some guilt is ok. It seems overwhelming or disproportionate guilt is where people are stifled.

A 20/20 episode suggested an interesting comparison. “High-guilt people often do shoulds”. There was an example of the college student who never missed class, wanted to achieve and give back. The also mentioned “low-guilt people often do wants”.  I want this or I want that, they are more concerned with what they would like to do than with what is expected of them.

Experts pointed out bad parenting produces too much guilt. It’s important to separate an incident from more global assessments. Getting a bad grade or eating a cookie doesn’t make you a bad, weak or unintelligent person. Rather it makes you someone who could have studied differently or perhaps was hungry. Analyzing or troubleshooting will produce a better result, in both children and adults, than attacking.

With clients, I see where people fall on the guilt spectrum. We have an exercise called “food stalking” where Foodtrainees email their food journal daily. Some clients love this, they like the commentary and feel the accountability encourages them to eat better.  The perceived feedback leads to better eating. This is not for everyone. One client, in particular, came in for her session and said “I hated that, it make me anxious, I feel I do better when I decide when to be strict.” She joked she grew up Catholic. There are so many articles about “losing the guilt” with eating. I don’t know if it’s guilt they are referring to or the mental flogging that is associated with it.

Consider where you are on the guilt spectrum. If you’re someone who can take imperfection in stride or use it to drive you that’s good to know. If you tend to beat yourself up, have plans in place. You will mess up whether it’s at work, in your relationships or with food. We all do. It’s how you react and regroup that matters more.

What do you think about guilt and food? Do you think there's a difference between internal guilt and feelings of guilt or "guilt trips" from others? Did you grow up in a "guilt heavy" environment? Was your family religious? Curious

I can see the future and you'll still hate exercise and broccoli

It's 20 years from now and Lauren still has that pile on her desk

Many new nutrition clients come in ready to make changes. In our initial meeting, I ask a series of questions in order to get a sense of their current habits. Then, I’ll devise an eating an exercise plan. With exercise, for example, if someone isn’t exercising I may suggest they find two 30-minute intervals to work out. Most clients balk at this allotment, I’ll hear comments such as “don’t I need to do more than that?” Or (you know I love a food expression) something to the effect of  “piece of cake” even though, prior to the meeting, there was zero exercise. My next step is to help clients schedule these new exercise sessions. If we’re meeting on a Monday, I’ll ask on which days the workouts will happen. Nobody says Tuesday, In fact Friday or Saturday would likely be the most common responses. We like to think we want to make changes but when pressed we’ll postpone or put the onus on ourselves later.

The New York Times reviewed a book entitled “The Willpower Instinct” explaining what’s at work in my example above.  Much of this comes down to something referred to as “our future self.” I know this sounds new-agey, stay with me. People differ in how connected they are to their future selves and this impacts decision-making. Less connection with this future self can manifest in less saving, flossing or eating well. With brain scans it’s shown that different parts of the brain are utilized when we think about ourselves than about others. For those disconnected from their future selves the brain activates as though it is thinking about another person. In my example, the client would expect someone else to be able to exercise more than 60 minutes a week.

The article explains ways our future self concept can be adjusted. Showing research subjects age-enhanced images of themselves changed responses to questions about spending and saving. Those who saw the older versions of themselves said they would allocate twice as much toward retirement. I think this is the same principle at work with diagnoses. When you receive a diagnosis, or even the threat of a diagnosis, it makes decisions feel more urgent and impactful. Before that, for some, health can be a vague, faraway concept.

So we can ignore our future self but we can also have unrealistic expectations. I can envision Lauren in the future with neat handwriting, no piles of papers and patience. This future Lauren will never be rushed because “next week things will calm down.” As the article said “I’ve been putting off eating better for some future time when somehow I’ll want to eat bulgur wheat rather than chocolate cake.” This is similar to the client who isn’t working out who wants to work out a ton “later in the week.” In one study, students were asked to donate time to a good cause. When they were told they had to do it in the current semester they signed up for 27 minutes. When they were given the option of next semester their volunteering increased to 85 min. Next semester they'll be more altruistic, right.

So what to do? If you’re disconnected from your future self, there are times when you will feel yourself relegating things to the future.  Whether it’s “next week” or “when I have a new job” under the assumption things will be different. When you feel that pull, do something in the instant.

• I’m a fan of 15-minute intervals. We can all find 15 minutes to clean out one drawer, walk around the block or pay a few pills. Chip away rather than trying to conquer.
• In terms of a visual there are websites to see older images of yourself such as in20years. To me this is a scare tactic. I’d suggest really think about the health issues your parents or grandparents face. Learn one new thing to minimize your risk.
• Instead of assuming you’ll love exercise, saving money and doing charitable work in the future, try to sort out why you’re not doing what you think you should now…. chances are the future will be similar.

Are you someone who thinks about your future or not? What type of beneficial behavior do you postpone? What do you think you’ll be doing in 20 years?