I Binged

I binged on Friday. My binge lasted the whole day and left me feeling down. I didn’t see it coming but once it started it was like a runaway train, I couldn’t get enough. Before you suggest I book an appointment with myself (or the other Foodtrainers) there’s something you should know. My binge wasn’t on cereal or chips or ice cream. I binged on the royals or more specifically I binged on Kate. In food terms this is the equivalent of binging on a food you’ve never had before as I wasn’t the least bit fixated on the wedding.

My husband came home from the gym early Friday morning. I was, where I am now, at my desk- hands perched on my keyboard, coffee cup lurking. “I can’t believe you aren’t watching,” he said. “Oh right the wedding, I’ll put it on.” I turned on the Today Show. The ceremony was underway. I wasn’t pulled in immediately. I made the boys breakfast, answered their monarchy-related questions and pretty soon it was time to leave. I set the DVR and went to drop the boys at school. I had 11 miles on my running schedule so it was a while before I arrived home.

Once home, the trouble started. I clicked “Today Show” on the kitchen television and sat down. On the “kiss countdown” that was displayed I had 30 minutes. Instead of fast forwarding I decided to watch a little.  I watched Kate and William leaving the ceremony.  Her posture was perfect, her smile natural and her skin zitless. William seemed a little anxious, gingerly stepping to avoid stepping on her dress. And the dress? Very pretty though I didn’t enjoy that corsety thing on the bodice. Let’s be real though, the woman (or the duchess now) is 5’10”, she’s athletic and thin (but not too thin) even the Queen’s banana get-up would look well on Kate.  I didn’t notice it at the time but the more I watched the worse I felt.

I watched the newlyweds’ carriage ride back to the palace; I watched kiss (or peck) 1 and kiss 2.  I went on with my day but the binge had hardly started. Once home again I watched multiple shows “post-game” report.  I turned on 20/20 only to learn Barbara Walters was doing a 2-hour special on the wedding. My husband headed to bed after saying “I just don’t get this, I don’t really see why billions of people care.” The Lauren who was oblivious that same morning was now defending her new habit. “How can you not care, this is history and a fairy tale!” I couldn’t stop. I learned Kate allegedly did her own make-up. I saw the dress she wore to the evening party (gorgeous) and how she carried herself with poise and restraint. I recalled a post I read on a blog called Verging in Serious. Cameo wrote a post  called Magazine Goggles about reading fashion magazines. On a recent trip she gorged on glossies and was left feeling rotten. The same thing happened to me with my royal goggles.

As I was going to sleep (finally), I was feeling as though my life was dull. I wasn’t a princess, would never wear a dress like that. Once I had hopped on the pity party train, I was lamenting the fact that I’m not tall, not in my 20’s and could never to my own make-up as well as the Duchess. Ugh.  I finally fell asleep. The next morning, I was a little “hung-over” from my binge but it was a new day. As I left for yoga I was seeing the other side of the coin. I had no make-up on and looked pretty dreadful. I was taking a new class and couldn’t master most of the moves.  I ran some errands after and realized nobody cares the way I look because nobody is watching. I can go about my day looking blah, less that poised and have a pimple or two. I can even “binge” because nobody is monitoring my every move.  Can you imagine binging at Buckingham Palace? Imagine.

Do you ever find magazines or celebrities or royals make you feel inferior? Did you watch the royal wedding? What do you think Kate eats (or doesn’t eat)? 

Gwyneth: not every woman

Last week, I was aimlessly reading tweets when something caught my eye and my interest. This is not a direct quote but the tweet said something to the effect of “Gwyneth tells moms to lose weight, moms tell Gwyneth to shut up” or something similarly harsh. Curious beyond belief I clicked the link. I was directed to a website fittingly called The Stir and a piece scolding Gwyneth Paltrow regarding comments she had made about losing baby weight. Gwyneth had discussed with a UK writer
the trouble she had losing weight after the birth of her second child, Melon, I mean Moses. The Stir’s writers’ main gripe, and there were many, was in response to the quote below:
"Every woman can make time -- every woman -- and you can do it with your baby in the room," she said. "There have been countless times where I've worked out with my kids crawling around all over the place. You just make it work, and if it's important to you, it'll be important to them."

The source of the outrage stemmed primarily from the use of “every woman". On the attack, the writer detailed all the ways in which Gwyneth wasn’t like “every woman.” Everything from Gwyneth’s predisposition to thinness to her tiny and talented trainer was picked apart making a pretty good case for the fact that Gwyneth is indeed different from most of us. Surprised? Of course you’re not. Gwyneth is tall as a tree, comes from a Hollywood family, is married to a rock star, has unlimited funds at her disposal and could not be more different from “every woman” which is exactly why practically every woman reading The Stir or Huffington Post wanted to hear how she lost her baby weight. And perhaps I’m biased as someone who helps people lose baby weight for a living but most women, rich and poor do in fact care to lose baby weight.

I concur with the fact that every woman can make the time to eat well or exercise. Sure, it may be easier with a trainer and a chef but at the end of the day it comes down to determination and motivation whether you’re a celebrity mom or more like me. If money was the deciding factor Oprah would be waifish and I love Oprah but she’s shown us that wealth doesn’t necessarily govern weight.

I was firmly on team G. and though her words hadn’t been polished by a PR person, I understood her point of view. All women like to feel their best, have to make the time to make this happen and it takes work. I was fully with her until she said “losing baby weight was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”Hard would’ve been acceptable, even grueling would’ve been OK but “hardest” coming from someone who lost her father way too soon? I’m handing over my team uniform. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions on this one but thought I'd leave you with something amusing. I read hundreds of comments after many articles on this subject and most reader’s joined the Gwyneth bashing bandwagon. Here is one particularly poetic response from The Huffington Post comments:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe

She had so many children but she still worked out, too.

She gave them green smoothies without any bread;

Then gave them a laxative and put them to bed.

What do you make of this baby weight brouhaha? Does G. need to get off her soapbox or does she have a point?