I Binged

I binged on Friday. My binge lasted the whole day and left me feeling down. I didn’t see it coming but once it started it was like a runaway train, I couldn’t get enough. Before you suggest I book an appointment with myself (or the other Foodtrainers) there’s something you should know. My binge wasn’t on cereal or chips or ice cream. I binged on the royals or more specifically I binged on Kate. In food terms this is the equivalent of binging on a food you’ve never had before as I wasn’t the least bit fixated on the wedding.

My husband came home from the gym early Friday morning. I was, where I am now, at my desk- hands perched on my keyboard, coffee cup lurking. “I can’t believe you aren’t watching,” he said. “Oh right the wedding, I’ll put it on.” I turned on the Today Show. The ceremony was underway. I wasn’t pulled in immediately. I made the boys breakfast, answered their monarchy-related questions and pretty soon it was time to leave. I set the DVR and went to drop the boys at school. I had 11 miles on my running schedule so it was a while before I arrived home.

Once home, the trouble started. I clicked “Today Show” on the kitchen television and sat down. On the “kiss countdown” that was displayed I had 30 minutes. Instead of fast forwarding I decided to watch a little.  I watched Kate and William leaving the ceremony.  Her posture was perfect, her smile natural and her skin zitless. William seemed a little anxious, gingerly stepping to avoid stepping on her dress. And the dress? Very pretty though I didn’t enjoy that corsety thing on the bodice. Let’s be real though, the woman (or the duchess now) is 5’10”, she’s athletic and thin (but not too thin) even the Queen’s banana get-up would look well on Kate.  I didn’t notice it at the time but the more I watched the worse I felt.

I watched the newlyweds’ carriage ride back to the palace; I watched kiss (or peck) 1 and kiss 2.  I went on with my day but the binge had hardly started. Once home again I watched multiple shows “post-game” report.  I turned on 20/20 only to learn Barbara Walters was doing a 2-hour special on the wedding. My husband headed to bed after saying “I just don’t get this, I don’t really see why billions of people care.” The Lauren who was oblivious that same morning was now defending her new habit. “How can you not care, this is history and a fairy tale!” I couldn’t stop. I learned Kate allegedly did her own make-up. I saw the dress she wore to the evening party (gorgeous) and how she carried herself with poise and restraint. I recalled a post I read on a blog called Verging in Serious. Cameo wrote a post  called Magazine Goggles about reading fashion magazines. On a recent trip she gorged on glossies and was left feeling rotten. The same thing happened to me with my royal goggles.

As I was going to sleep (finally), I was feeling as though my life was dull. I wasn’t a princess, would never wear a dress like that. Once I had hopped on the pity party train, I was lamenting the fact that I’m not tall, not in my 20’s and could never to my own make-up as well as the Duchess. Ugh.  I finally fell asleep. The next morning, I was a little “hung-over” from my binge but it was a new day. As I left for yoga I was seeing the other side of the coin. I had no make-up on and looked pretty dreadful. I was taking a new class and couldn’t master most of the moves.  I ran some errands after and realized nobody cares the way I look because nobody is watching. I can go about my day looking blah, less that poised and have a pimple or two. I can even “binge” because nobody is monitoring my every move.  Can you imagine binging at Buckingham Palace? Imagine.

Do you ever find magazines or celebrities or royals make you feel inferior? Did you watch the royal wedding? What do you think Kate eats (or doesn’t eat)?