The Balance Project

Is this balance? If so I'm super balanced, you?

I don't remember my reply when Susie asked to interview me for The Balance Project but it was something to the effect of "get ready for your first mom who knows nothing about the subject". The series of emails showed me who this Susie is and she's awesome. Fortunately for me, the fact that I'm unapologetically out of balance wasn't a problem.  I really enjoyed answering this series of questions.

A little about the project in Susie's words:
 I’ve always been curious—and maybe a little obsessed—about how women I admire do “it all” (or at least try to). So I asked them. And as I suspected, no one really does. Or even really wants to. Every Friday I’ll feature a new interview. Here’s what Lauren Slayton had to say…

Here is the rest of the interview:
Lauren Slayton, Nutritionist
Age: 40
Where I live: NYC
Job: Nutritionist (founder of Foodtrainers) and author of The Little Book of Thin
Ages/genders of kids: 2 boys ages 9 and 11

Is the job you have now the same one you had before kids? If not, how and why did you change directions?
I opened Foodtrainers in 2001 when I was pregnant with my older son (what was I thinking?). Fortunately, it worked out. As the boys got older, I started the blog. And the book sort of fell into place.

Do you think having “it all” is realistic or overrated and why?
I believe in juggling. Having it all sounds off-putting. I want to throw darts at having it all. At the same time I’m grateful for my family, for my business, and now for my book.

What part of “balance” can you just not seem to figure out?
I think part of having your own business sort of means you’re always at work. I envy those people who don’t email on the weekend or who can put their phones away when they get home to their children. I have a hard time turning that mental to-do list off. I also wish I read more, other than the newspaper or Facebook links.

What part of “balance” are you getting better at?
I am getting better at enjoying things. I am getting better at patience. Let’s be real though, I am basically an impatient perfectionist. My mother once said the second you feel you have a good marriage or sing your husband’s praises you will go home and get in a fight, so I’m hesitant to remark on what’s better because all of a sudden it’s not.

What was the best advice you ever heard on balance…
From a mentor/co-worker? I worked with another nutritionist when I was just out of grad school. I was ready to show the world how much I knew, and she pointed out how much people want to be listened to and supported. Despite all the money paid for nutritional biochemistry, you can’t replace support.

From your mother? From my mother and my grandmother I learned what it feels like to be fiercely loved. My mom and I are very different. I love lists and plans but my mom has taught me to “just go.” When I was younger she’d rent out our apartment and rent a house in Spain. When I was contemplating having kids she said “don’t wait until you’re ready or you’ll be waiting a long time.”

From your kids? My kids have shown me what it’s like to love someone so much it hurts and how valuable it is to spend real time. Being at their piano lessons, helping with the homework, those snowy days when we freeze on the way to school—I am cherishing them all.

I should add I cannot stand “it goes by so fast” because that seems so hopeless to me. One client said “every stage is great” and that’s how I approach parenting. Sure, my kids are less adorable at 9 and 11 than they were at 4 and 6 but we can go places and eat anywhere, and I refuse to mourn for the time when they were little—the truth is that was exhausting and horrible at times.

If you had one extra hour in each day and you couldn’t work or be with your family, how would you spend that hour?
An hour? I’d take 15 minutes. I love a bath, I love a book, but I want a whole afternoon with a book. I also love the time to be able to leisurely get somewhere; it feels luxurious.

What would you have told yourself…
20 years ago? To appreciate and protect my skin.

20 years from now? I can’t say but I do hope I don’t let aging and the fear of aging take up too much mind time.

What one part of your home life do you wish you could outsource?
I outsource it all, ha. Really though, I can cook and all of that, I am just not a good cleaner, I swear I’m not.

Whose job do you wish you had?
Travel writing seems sexy.

Whose job are you glad you don’t have?
I almost went to med school, and I’m glad I did not.

Favorite book?
I have so much trouble answering this question; I can never recall my favorites. My favorite writing is usually a little snarky. I love Nora Ephron everything.

What are you reading right now?
Just finished Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell, and I adored it.

Biggest vices…
Activity? Are we talking reality TV? Taxi taking? Yelling?

Food? I am pretty much a nutrition nerd but also love great food. If life had no rules, there would be more cheese, more cocktails, and chocolate that wasn’t always 70% dark.

Website? Oh god, I can get sucked in. I am reformed, but I have spent hours on Reality Steve, there I said it.

How many hours do you generally sleep at night during the week?
I get up at 5-something but I’m usually asleep by 11 if not before. So that’s 6-7, 7 being what I suggest others shoot for.

What do you read every morning?
Instagram. I read the New York Times and The Post daily, but not necessarily in the morning.

Complete the following sentences:
I think I: make myself crazy.

I wish I: could feel proud more often.

My kids: are amazing and I’m not just saying that because they’re mine (or maybe I am).

Do you have a personal motto or favorite saying?
My friend Jen Linn’s passion was fearlessness. I am not there but in moments where anxiety is taking over I try to remove it. I try to enjoy. I try, and I’m not there yet.

Anything else you’d like to add?
Very random anecdote but let me say this… In our 20s we lived across the hall from this couple. She was gorgeous and had a great job and he was gorgeous, had the job, etc. The “perfect” couple, right? My husband and I are both feisty, and astrologers say we’re a nightmare combo, but we’ve been together since ‘93. So we go to dinner with the “perfect” couple and minutes in, she looks at us and says, “Okay guys, admit it, do you hear us fight all the time?” She wasn’t saying they were miserable, but they thought we heard their “imperfection” and we, of course, were convinced they heard ours. Couples fight, kids have issues. I have arrived at the office with one of my puppies’ poop bags in my purse (yup). Someone I met said “I have life envy after looking at your Instagram.” Maybe I should post poop pics.

Be sure to check out the balance project and because I understand the importance of supporting authors and preorders, Susie's book On Grace (I did).

PS I really took this to heart. I had a trip for the book to Chicago this week and rather than picking apart how I did or how successful it was I enjoyed the opportunities and tried to be proud...tried.
Where do you feel you could be more balanced? What's the best advice you received from your mother or family member? Favorite book? Isn't this fun?

Who has the time?

Last week, I did a segment for a local TV show called Moms and the City. A study was released revealing that 40 percent of NYC kindergarteners are overweight or obese. Even more disturbing were the numbers for certain neighborhoods where over half the children were overweight. Neighborhoods with high mean income levels had some of the lower percentages. Moms and the City asked me for some simple tips all moms could follow in light of the study. I didn’t want to sound extreme and yet, clearly, NYC parents need some help. I said:


The one skill that can transform a families eating, many mothers possess already and that’s organization. When it comes to food organizing:
1. Make a weekly menu plan to avoid waste and up the nutritional ante in meals.

2. Cook- this doesn’t have to be a 100% cooking commitment but 2 times a week if you aren’t already.

3. Shop- seek out farmers markets as the selection of produce in some urban supermarkets is lousy. Farmers markets excite children about healthy food.

If you’ll notice none of these tips involve removing things from your diet. There isn’t “no” preceding any tips and yet following these guidelines would make a huge difference for many families obese or not. I felt good about my segment and was excited to watch it. Thursday night at 10:00 I turned on the show and the obesity statistics were the first item discussed. They ran the clip, taped in my office, and despite only 1 take I thought my message came across as clear and reasonable. A nanosecond later, one of the 3 moms said “I’m sorry but who has the time?” One of the other moms Melissa Gerstein, who had interviewed me, said “we go to Fairway on Sunday and we figure it out.” She proceeded to give some examples of meals her family ate and made a good case for planning. I was a little disappointed. The format of the show is 3 different moms giving their opinion on various issues. While this mom, Raina, was probably expressing an opinion many moms relate to, I felt it could quell any newfound inspiration moms watching may have been feeling.

Last night something made me rethink my reaction. I was out with 2 friends, 2 other moms in the city (no connection to the show) and we were discussing housekeeping. My friend mentioned this glow system  that teaches you how to be more efficient in cleaning your house or apartment. My friend said “they have these tips that allow you to leave for work with a spotless kitchen.” I smiled, thinking about the dishes in the sink and breakfast remnants that greet me when I return from my run and dropping the kids at school. “It isn’t going to happen for me, as it is I am up at 5:30 to return emails and get breakfast ready.” In my own way, I was pretty much saying “who has the time?”

Most people I know are time-starved but use their time for things they deem important. I will change my day around to get to the market but have a huge stack of papers sitting on my desk. I have clients who wake up at 4:30am to exercise and others who work until 4:30am. They key is to make the time for the areas previously marginalized and for many of us that includes food. The key is to get the ball rolling, even if it rolls slowly. I put the milk away and washed out the coffee pot this morning. I wonder if Raina would be willing to cook a bit.
What are your weak or strong areas? What do you always make time for? What could you carve out more time for?