I'm not a hugger (and how this can help you)

Call her my girl crush, idol or obsession; whichever word you use- I love Nora Ephron. I love her writing and movies, how much she loved NYC and, most importantly, her feelings about egg white omelets. I admire her so much I felt “bad about my neck” years before I needed to (and silently thank her when I apply night cream below my chin). So, when I read a review of Richard Cohen's new Nora Ephron biography She Made Me Laugh, I immediately headed to Barnes and Noble. Amazon prime would not do.

I've always felt some sort of connection to Nora; I'm sure many feel this way but as I read this fantastic book a few things stood out:

Nora abhorred religion

She didn’t like dancing

And she wasn’t much of a hugger

Why does this matter? It matters because you're supposed to like each of these things. And each of these things I've kind of fudged liking for a long time. And so now I feel I can be out.

I will never dance like nobody is watching and can't relate to that sentiment. I found another non-dancer (and married him) and we saunter over to the bar when the band begins. Or we watch other people dance and prove my dance theory and that is that being a good dancer isn’t a prerequisite for liking to dance. 

As for religion, I grew up Jewish-ish. There was no Hebrew school or bat mitzvah. We didn’t have seders...we had dinners.  We only had a rabbi at our wedding because I felt we had to.

And hugging, hugging confuses me. I don't mind a kiss hello but a hug is reserved for my kids…on visiting day when they’ve been away for three weeks.  I especially hate those awkward moments where you don’t know if you’re expected to hug or not.

As of today, I am going to own my feelings on these topics. My guess is that you have something you've been pretending to like too. If it's something as silly as dancing or hugging there's no reason to fake it. However, there are some areas where I’ll make effort to change such as bringing by reusable shopping bags, tracking my finances (I’d rather dance) and ending my delightful, summer fling with rosé.

Cupcakes and Butter, Blake, Paula and Nora

You may think that the end of TomKat’s sham marriage was the biggest celebrity news on Friday, but in my world, it was the fact that Blake Lively eats cupcakes and doesn’t workout. A distraught client sent this link to me with the question "is she lying or am I doing something wrong?”

The answer is yes, she is at least semi-lying and yes, despite your Foodtraining, you are doing some things wrong. Blake may love cupcakes but I can assure you she’s not subsisting on an all- Crumbs diet. Who knows? She may eat a cupcake a week. Her trainer was quoted as sating she eats oatmeal, berries, fish and veggies and she has a trainer so that contradicts the couch potato part. As to what you are doing wrong, first you’re around my height, so that makes you 5’2” ish? not 5’10” like Blake. Second, you’re not 24. That headline is annoying. She comes from a long line of skinny actresses who love to discuss how much they eat. Even if they eat a lot, I’d prefer they keep it to themselves. You would never hear them say "I do so little work and get paid so much" even though it's true, so why is it ok when it comes to weight? I loved when Kim Cattrall went on the record talking about the work it takes to stay in shape. As for Blake, the girl is beautiful but it’s only fair that she porks up after 30 and gets pimples or a yeast infection, from all the sugar, in the mean time.

And then there’s Paula, if you’d like to know what most of us earthlings would look like on the cupcake diet, look no further than Paula Deen BC. BC= before criticism that came when she went public with her diabetes and her position (getting millions of dollars) as a spokesperson for a diabetes drug.  In January, Paula downplayed the connection between food, weight and diabetes and stood by her recipes. People went nuts. Paula or her PR people got the message and here is slimmer Paula. She’s doing things differently now. Does this mean she’s going to modify her recipes? Of course not. She’s gone from Paula Deen doughnut queen to Paula Deen diabetes drug lord and now she’s a weight loss expert telling People magazine her “slimming secrets”. I’ll tell Paula a secret, she better not lose too much or she’ll be off of her meds and out of a spokesperson position, stay tuned.

This week also brought shocking news of Nora Ephron’s passing. I loved Nora’s movies, her books and just her good sense. I never knew how I’d answer that hypothetical dinner party question, you know “if you could have 3 people living or dead over to dinner…” but I now know Nora would be on my list. Since we were talking butter, I thought this Nora Ephron quote was apropos

Everybody dies, there’s no avoiding it and I do not believe for one second that butter is the cause of anyone’s death. Overeating may be, but not butter, please. I just feel bad for people who make that mistake. By the way the same thing is true of olive oil. What difference could it possibly make if there’s a little olive oil in your salad dressing? It does not take one day off your life.

And one from yesterday's Times

I don't think any day is worth living without thinking about what you're going to eat next at all times.

What are your thoughts on Blake, Paula, Nora (or TomKat), cupcakes or butter?