Two Little Book of Thin Secrets to Say Thank You

Little Book of Thin illustrator Diana Marye Huff

Here we are, another Monday morning and I have two questions for you. Are you walking around with any thoughts along the line of “ugh why did I eat x, y or z this weekend?” My second seemingly unrelated question is do you know what you’re having for dinner tonight? If you answered “yes” to the first food-guilt question or “no” to the second planning question The Little Book of Thin is for you. I am so appreciative of those of you who have pre-ordered this book. I told you to save your e-receipts and I hope you did because I have a token of my gratitude to send you and these are not just any tokens they are "thin" tokens.

First, you’ll receive the LBT Victory List (oh my goodness my son just came in and said “mom don’t you mean BLT”). Parting ways with that food guilt is one of the cornerstones of Foodtraining and this Victory List will get you started, even before the book arrives. When we’re trapped in “I shouldn’t have had that” mode we’re wasting time that could be spent strategizing. Banish the word willpower from your vocabulary. It’s not about who will win you or the breadbasket, it’s about deciding whether you’re having the bread (or booze or dessert) before you’re in the tricky situation. With the LBT Menu Map you’ll start to wear your food-planning hat and an ounce of prevention is worth many, many pounds of fat.Life is too short to cry over a caramel or an extra cocktail but I know you want to feel your best, come January 1^st 2014 (and now even before that) you can.

Here’s what to do: email your proof of purchase to info@foodtrainers.net and type “LBT preorder” in the subject line. We’ll email you your Victory List and Menu Map. And if you can’t locate your receipt, simply email your name and where you preordered from (Amazon, Barnes and Noble etc).

So let’s kick this week off on a positive note. What healthy item did you purchase or cook this weekend? Any fun fall workouts? Whatever you did for yourself it’s a victory, pat yourself on the back and one victory will lead to more.

**And bloggers I’m going to be doing a Little Book of Thin Blog Tour. Some of you have emailed expressing interest in doing a Q/A or receiving an advance copy. This will take place the first two weeks in January; contact me if you’re interested. It’ll be a great way to kick off the New Year and we can tailor the content to your audience or platform.

Are you like RFK?

So tempted to put a subtitle but you have an idea what I'd say

As much as I love new foods and nutrition information, we can’t lose sight of the basics. I am always going to be a fan of proper hydration, vegetables and food journaling. My clients who keep their food journals (aka as food diaries or food bibles) get better results. In an effort to emphasize the positive side of losing weight or changing behaviors, I have some clients keep a “Victory List”.  This list enumerates successful choices in the course of a day “resisted the cookie plate” or “packed lunch for the office”. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was reading the highbrow NY Post. The headline spoke of a sex diary RFK kept. RFK was a serial adulterer and though exact reasons aren’t known his wife took her life last year. At first, I was sickened to read of his conquests with 37 women interspersed with details about his wife and 4 children. Then I noticed a few things. RFK used the word “victory” on the days he resisted the urge to philander. He describes his exploits as his “biggest defect” and was actually content when he is imprisoned (for protesting) because there were no women around him. All of a sudden I was sympathetic. I relate to this; in some ways this is oddly similar to what I hear day in and day out in my office.

Sure, eating a cronut is different from eating…moving on. In most cases, emotional eating, binge eating or simply overeating does not devastate those closest to us. And yet food- resisting food and managing food is an overwhelming struggle for many people. RFK accounted for his affairs with a 1-10 scale. So 10 indicated having sex, I have no idea what that makes a 3. This has a striking resemblance to the minutes of cardio or “b” for binge my clients use.  If you think about it, we also describe “cheating” on our diets (though I don’t love that term when it comes to food).

We each have our defects. While I judged away reading about RFK’s, I never judge my clients. When they stray, I try to redirect them. I would do the same for a friend or family member who struggled with drinking (as Mary Kennedy did), drugs, gambling or any other dependency. Then why, if I envision finding a racy journal like this from Marc do I know I’d go apeshit (going apeshit may be my biggest flaw)?

Do you think sex and food are similar “defects”?  If not, why do we view them differently? Do you keep a journal or food journal? And what is your biggest defect?
Update: the winner of the Quinn popcorn giveaway is Elyse and the winner of the Manitoba hemp giveaway is Jordan, congratulations.

"Don't be so hard on yourself" doesn't always work

I keep a notebook on my desk during client sessions. Here and there I jot down tidbits that strike a chord with me and I feel others can relate to. Today I was in session with a client we’ll call C because C was confused. C had a history of beating herself up when it comes to food. Recently I wrote about the importance of self-compassion something C didn’t have a whole lot of in the past. Prior to coming to see me though, C decided not to be so hard on herself and she was succeeding. The problem is she wasn’t feeling very well. In her words (the words I wrote in my notebook) “I decided not to be hard on myself and now I’m not accomplishing anything.” C’s clothes weren’t fitting well and the problem wasn’t isolated to food. She was having a hard time organizing her day in general. It’s as though “don’t be so hard on yourself” in some ways wasn’t working or was working too well. For the record, C looks great, unlike the stock photo above, but she doesn’t feel great.

I think many of us can relate to this. Whether it’s the runner who goes from marathon training to rarely running or the person who goes and vacation and decides they will eat whatever then want while away and continues to do so once home. It’s very hard to find the correct balance when it comes to guilt and goals. This isn’t just about being on or off or black and white. This is about finding a way to be productive without punitive measures we all know end up backfiring.

So how does one do this? I have a couple of ideas:

The first I call negative splits a term runners will recognize. In a long training run or race the goal is to be conservative in the first half of the race so that the second half can be run faster than the first and a better overall time is achieved. I apply this to food behaviors. In my first session with clients I find many are surprised. If a client isn’t already exercising I may suggest 60 minutes of exercise over 2 days. Or, if a client never cooks I may recommend cooking (or “assembling”) one dinner a week. This is generally met with a “this is supposed to be harder, I want to lose weight” look. I assure clients we will ratchet things up but encourage them to trust me, lowering the bar initially will lead to confidence and feelings of success. It will also eventually lead to better long-term results.

The second tool is called a victory list. A victory list is the direct opposite of beating yourself up. At the end of the day, think of one thing you did well and record it. My professional world is food-centric and so examples would be “hydrated well” or “skipped bagels at the meeting” or “ate lots of vegetables.” If you think this sounds hokey, chances are you would really benefit from trying it.

I will let you know how it goes for C. I really hope C soon stands for “confident” instead of “confused”.

Do you think it’s possible to be too easy on yourself? How do you strike the balance between self-critical and self-control?