New Year, New Blog, New Wellness “truth” to question

Saturday night, I waited up for my son to come home (do other parents do this, please advise) and then couldn’t get myself back to sleep. I’m sure the remnants of jet lag didn’t help matters. My body has no idea what time it is. I did what every sleep expert would advise against and started reading things on my phone. My phone wouldn’t have been next to the bed, if not for the teen at a late movie, but still.

I started scrolling through my Instagram feed. I am a little bit of a quote whore, so many people that I follow tend to post quotes. However, some are snarky and hilarious (my preference) and others are more of the annoying Instagram variety, you know what I’m referring to. I get it, I should love myself and some days I do. I read this quote “watch your habits not your weight.” At first glance, I was on board. Habits, and establishing them, are a good use of your time. Fixating on weight and the scale, we all know that helps us as much as a Mallomar when it comes to actually feeling good. But the commentary- and I realize many people respond to this type of thing, bugged me. The poster explained she is starting the year at a higher weight and it doesn’t matter because she now cares more about habits. I felt a pang of doubt, I call it my quote intuition. It happens when I read a quote, wait for it to inspire me, and sometimes react with “nope, that doesn’t work.”

Carolyn and I had lunch, ok hot toddy’s with some eggs on the side, on Friday. We talked about this recent ethos of “weight doesn’t matter.” And we weigh our clients backward, so it’s not like we’re weight fixated but, call it what you will, size matters (to some) J I feel accomplished when I take my vitamins or make my matcha. It feels good. But so does putting on my ski pants, or any pants for that matter, and feeling fit and pretty. If things fitting snugly or a muffin or mini muffin top doesn’t get under your skin, that’s great. But I don’t necessarily aspire to not care about size. I care about my house being decluttered, I love pretty flowers and I love feeling confident or sexy. I like that boost.

I’ve talked about this holier than thou social media movement before. Diet is a bad word, as is thin, forget skinny- the wellness elite will excommunicate you for that one.  But we all agree, I hope, in using our energy to feeling good, have less negativity and guilt. If, for one person, that means weighing more and accepting that, amazing. But feeling that way isn’t necessarily morally superior to putting on an outfit and liking that way it fits. It’s all about keeping it positive and knowing which camp you’re in. Speaking of camps, our New Year’s Squeeze week starts today. Good luck to our 50 Squeezers, many of whom have goals, of feeling "lighter", "leaner" and "debloated", at the end of the week.

Happy New Year!

P.S. How do you like the new blog? Any topics you’d like us to cover? Are you a size doesn’t matter person or does it matter to you?

Should you tell others you're trying to lose weight?

Research says shut your mouth (in more ways than one) if trying to lose

When I finish a session with a new client and they pay in cash, I know. Sure, there’s a chance they’re one of those credit cards shunners but it’s far more likely they don’t want their spouse to know. It’s their secret that they’re trying to lose weight. Recently, a writer asked Carolyn a great question. “Is it better to share your weight loss efforts with others or keep it to yourself?” Are the cash clients onto something?

Carolyn and I exchanged emails on this topic, her answers….

Can telling people you are trying to lose weight improve your results?

It can for a couple of reasons. Having a support system to back you up works wonders. Many clients are quick to point out the friends they eat poorly around but chances are there are those positive forces too. If you have friends who will join you at the gym or eat at healthy restaurants, make them “favorites”. You can also use friends and family for accountability. Even though I’m a nutritionist- some of our Foodtrainers’ office emails about hydration or fitbit steps really help me. And if you are seeing a nutritionist or trainer and sometimes professionals can be your “carb”confidante.

Are there any people you should refrain from telling?

Off the bat I would avoid telling those people who are jealous or will try to sabotage you, judgy family members are in this category. And beware, it’s often the judgy folks we want approval from. No matter how stoked you are about a new routine, be selective about sharing; you want support, not mommying or monitoring. 

So, why do you think people closet their weight loss efforts?

Some people are ashamed of needing to lose weight, food and nutrition are much more complicated than exercise. For others it’s fear of failure. One client’s husband said, “I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it doesn’t work.”  And then there’s always people who don’t want it to appear they “have to watch” their food intake or don’t want to cop to something as “silly” as food journaliing.

Do you see tide turning, are people sharing more?

On the whole people are more interested in food and health. The tide is definitely turning. There are office weight loss challenges, group fitness, apps not to mention social media encouraging us to share.

“The research” as it’s often referred to (and deferred to) encourages that we don’t share our goals, what do you say to the Ted talk etc?

OK so yes, there are studies and a Ted Talk that discourages goal sharing. The reasoning is that once you tell others what you’d like to achieve there’s some perceived accomplishment so you don’t work as hard at what you’re doing. This reminds me of New Years Resolutions, we’re all good at setting the goals. We avoid this with clients by having them focused on the behaviors versus just the goal. And what the studies miss is the effect shame can have on us. It’s not embarrassing to improve your health or watch what you’re eating and it doesn’t feel good to hide or lie.

Are you open about your efforts to lose weight or be healthy? Who do you share the most with (in this department) your partner, friends, shrink? What do you think about the studies pointing out that sometimes sharing isn’t best?

The Weight Equivalent of Drybar

Thankfully Carolyn Brown AKA onesmartbrownie or my right hand wo-man took the blog reigns today. I’m more of an eyelash junkie but we’ll talk about that later…

Can I tell you a secret? I’m a Drybar junkie. “Half cosmopolitan, half southern comfort” all while sipping on fruit infused water? Yes please. You just can’t recreate what happens there, not to mention I’d rather not risk a stay at the burn unit via curling iron. Drybar makes me happy- ok, drybar makes my hair look good which makes me happy. Same with Soul Cycle (yes Foodtrainers office is a soul:flywheel battlefield). It gets me spinning because you know in the freezing weather none of us are going for long runs outside. Forget about riding a spin bike solo.

So maybe you want to lose some weight, go gluten free, lower your cholesterol or improve your energy. But if “consistently healthy forever” sounds like a steep, scary request, we get it. The nutrition equivalent of better hair or a better sweat is Foodtrainers Food-stalking. Outsourcing is the new willpower.

It’s no secret (unless you have yet to read #LBT, what are you waiting for?) that we’ll have clients email us when the “kitchen is closed” or have them #TIDEI (tweet it don’t eat it).  Stalking is more serious as we find frequent check ins work wonders in the name of weight loss. “Use me” is not a phrase I am blabbing in other areas of life but clients who “use us” get great results.

Apps cannot talk back on a personal level, but we can. Our stalking program lasts 3-week (21 days) with daily check ins; think of it as a shorter (and slimmer) leash. You will stalk us and we will stalk you too.

From you, we expect to see a daily food journal by 9pm. From us, you will receive a daily trim-down tip, along with food journal feedback. Stalk your self skinny - You’ll feel and look better – and feel free to instagram the results like I do my drybar locks. Email us for pricing info and to get started at info@foodtrainers.net Stalking session starts Monday and already 20-something stalkies, you don't have to be in NYC or a Foodtrainers client.

What do you outsource/which areas do you need help with? Are you app-inclined when it comes to food? Ever stalked or been stalked (kidding, maybe)?

You May Fail, Be a Resolution-ary Anyway

From one of my Facebook friends, love it though a little more to it...

Many people get divorced and many others drop out of college. Did either of these facts affect your decision to ultimately get married or attend college? Each of these endeavors need to be taken seriously but the potential benefits, for many, out weigh the risk. I feel the same way about New Years Resolutions, why pass up an opportunity to experience something because many people, possibly you in past years, didn’t see things through?  Two years ago, I started my pro-resolution campaign with 

In Defense of Resolutions and feel there’s even more anti-resolution propaganda now to fend off.

Last year in Doomed Resolutions (and how to improve them) I talked about some mistakes in revolution setting. If you make the same resolution every year, you may want to rethink it. Let’s take the clichéd but often needed weight loss goal. If for, as far as you can remember, you’ve declared on January 1^st you would loose 20 pounds, some suggestions:

• Be More Modest with Goal Setting (and in life), aim for 5 to 10 pounds, anything more is icing on the cake or a sign you’ve had less cake. The truth is, progress is progress and if it seems too far away anyone can get resolution-fatique.
• A+B+C+D= Weight Loss. Focusing on losing weight is akin to spending all your time saying, “I wish I had a job” versus rewriting your resume, networking or maybe working with a headhunter.  Maybe setting a TV limit or eating fewer take out meals or seeing a nutritionist will you help you with your weight. Sorting out the steps is as valuable as any goal you can set.
• Make Resolutions Positive. Carolyn was asked in this WebMD article about her resolutions and her suggestion was to give resolutions a positive, proactive slant.  One of her resolutions is to cook once a week with her sisters. I’ve talked about cooking goals in Cooking Homework. Other positive goals are to eat more fish, experiment with greens you haven’t tried or to drink more tea.
• Focus on the Health Component. Sometimes, I know it’s shocking, vanity isn’t enough stimulate behavior change. Whether it’s osteoporosis, infertility or cancer prevention your diet and exercise play a role. Changes you make in the name of health or chronic disease will likely have longevity.

The Wall Street Journal had an interesting idea. They suggested “outsourcing” resolutions. Give it a try; in our family the consensus was that my husband needed to leave us all waiting less/be more punctual. For Myles or “Prince Myles” we felt he could do more on his own. Weston could benefit from crying less when his brother upsets him and the shocker was that the family felt “Mom should yell less.” And that’s the danger with asking others what they feel you should work on. Their answers, though truthful, may sting.

I loved an interview I read recently in Yoga Journal. Chip Wilson, the founder of Lululemon Athletica and huge goal proponent said, “to make goals effective you have to fail at them 50 percent of the time.” We should all keep Steve Jobs in mind as we ring start the New Year. Remember Steve and all he accomplished and remember he was a college dropout. Happy New Year.

Where do you stand with resolutions? What do you think of outsourcing them? Any you want to put out there? I’ll check back with you and see how you’re doing.

Cooking Homework

I am jealous of my kids. It's not because they get to play sports every day or can take three bites of ice cream and feel full or even their ten hours of sleep each night. Nope, I am jealous of their homework. I covet their list of assignments, their notebooks with separate folders and their nightly reading; it makes me miss school. It has been many years but my inner nerd hasn’t faded. And sadly, though the PhD is a bucket list item, depending on the day, I am not headed back to school any time soon.

My friend Shari has a great blog called My Judy the Foodie (I shamelessly linked to the post where she asks me “is homemade healthier”). She's teaching herself to cook using her mother's recipes. It occurred to me that, in a way, Shari has created a cooking school for herself with her mother as her teacher. Shari is a great storyteller and readers follow her buy a Dutch oven, plant an herb garden and make her first holiday meal. As I've watched Shari learn and grow I've done what any friend would. I’ve grown jealous of Shari too.

I miss the challenge of entering new territory and gradually gaining proficiency. I even crave the inevitable fumbles along the way. I cook, you see, but I keep to my comfort zone. As a parent, I encourage my kids to try new things. I nudge my non-cooking clients to use their ovens and try easy recipes and then go home and whip up my old, reliable ones. So rather than sit here and let my jealousy surge, I thought of a solution. I’m assigning myself homework. In the next month (deadlines need to be realistic) I’m going to:

1. Buy a new slow cooker and use it
2. Bake at least once; while I cook I’m baking illiterate

 *For extra credit, I’ll make at least 1 dish without a recipe if I’ve completed #’s 1 and 2.

I’d love for you to join me and assign yourself homework too.

Don't be a slacker, what’s your cooking homework going to be? Can you pick one ingredient or type of cooking you’d like to tackle in the next month? In my school copying is fine so feel free to try one of my assignments. Oh and anything you’re jealous of? You can vent it here.

Body Bucket List

Back in January, a friend forwarded me one of those chain emails.  While I delete most of these poems and puzzles, there is one type I like or am a sucker for. I like the questionnaires that asks crucial questions such as “coffee or tea?” or “best meal you’ve ever had”.  The email I received from a friend  was entitled “BUCKET LIST” and the instructions were to simply place an X next to all the things you’ve done. Items ranged from “danced like on one was watching” to “watched the sunrise with someone.”

My friend A*, always out to improve things, wrote back with her answers, and said, “I think there should be an add-on, five things not on the list you would have on your bucket list.  I don’t want to divulge her list (though she can if she leaves a comment) but two items resonated with me. One was “hike Machu Picchu” and the other “feel really good in a bikini.” I had the idea a Body Bucket list but have sat on it for months unsure what my five body “add ons” would be and somehow nervous that I had to pinpoint the right items. I’m over my hesitation but do not be surprised if I edit these items at a later date. I'm all for goal setting and challenges (remember how much I love resolutions).

Before I kick the bucket or my window of opportunity closes I’d like to:

1.     Run an Ultra marathon. I’ve run half marathons and marathons. While I’d love to run the Boston marathon one day, the new qualifying times make that unlikely. I have no triathlon dreams but I can run and enjoy it. Ultra marathons vary in length all the way up to 100 miles. I think I could do it…slowly.

2.     Bungee jump or sky dive- while neither of these really depend on my body per se, I’d like to do one or both of them. I am not a risk taker by nature but I like the idea of controlled risk.

3.     Train for and hike something important- I passed on an opportunity to climb Kilimanjaro this year. Marc and I thought about it but the time spent away from the boys (and work) didn’t seem feasible. I like A’s idea of Machu Picchu too and we penciled it in for our 40^th birthdays (years and years from now).

4.     Get back on a bike- Marc is training for a tri and said to me “do you know how to ride a bike? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you ride?” I met Marc in 94’ but I don’t think I’ve been on a bike since summer camp. The truth is I was never, even as a child, much of a bike rider. I do know how! I’m going to buy a bike and start riding and will let you know if there’s truth to “it’s just like riding a bike” we’ll see.

5.     Get in the best shape possible- A’s “feel really good in a bikini” resonated with me. I’m not someone with real weight loss aspirations. My weight is pretty stable; I wear a small clothing size and do wear bikinis (though I spend more time with a cover up on, I’m a cover-upper).  I’ve been in marathon shape, I’ve been skinny but I don’t feel I’ve been in the best shape I can be in.  My boys are away at camp for seven weeks this summer. Who knows? Maybe I’ll cross this item off my list.

 Are there any items on my body bucket list you’ve already done? What would be on your body bucket list? Do you have 5 items? 

*A. has appeared on this blog before, she’s a great idea person and jokingly referred to herself as my blog muse. 

"Don't be so hard on yourself" doesn't always work

I keep a notebook on my desk during client sessions. Here and there I jot down tidbits that strike a chord with me and I feel others can relate to. Today I was in session with a client we’ll call C because C was confused. C had a history of beating herself up when it comes to food. Recently I wrote about the importance of self-compassion something C didn’t have a whole lot of in the past. Prior to coming to see me though, C decided not to be so hard on herself and she was succeeding. The problem is she wasn’t feeling very well. In her words (the words I wrote in my notebook) “I decided not to be hard on myself and now I’m not accomplishing anything.” C’s clothes weren’t fitting well and the problem wasn’t isolated to food. She was having a hard time organizing her day in general. It’s as though “don’t be so hard on yourself” in some ways wasn’t working or was working too well. For the record, C looks great, unlike the stock photo above, but she doesn’t feel great.

I think many of us can relate to this. Whether it’s the runner who goes from marathon training to rarely running or the person who goes and vacation and decides they will eat whatever then want while away and continues to do so once home. It’s very hard to find the correct balance when it comes to guilt and goals. This isn’t just about being on or off or black and white. This is about finding a way to be productive without punitive measures we all know end up backfiring.

So how does one do this? I have a couple of ideas:

The first I call negative splits a term runners will recognize. In a long training run or race the goal is to be conservative in the first half of the race so that the second half can be run faster than the first and a better overall time is achieved. I apply this to food behaviors. In my first session with clients I find many are surprised. If a client isn’t already exercising I may suggest 60 minutes of exercise over 2 days. Or, if a client never cooks I may recommend cooking (or “assembling”) one dinner a week. This is generally met with a “this is supposed to be harder, I want to lose weight” look. I assure clients we will ratchet things up but encourage them to trust me, lowering the bar initially will lead to confidence and feelings of success. It will also eventually lead to better long-term results.

The second tool is called a victory list. A victory list is the direct opposite of beating yourself up. At the end of the day, think of one thing you did well and record it. My professional world is food-centric and so examples would be “hydrated well” or “skipped bagels at the meeting” or “ate lots of vegetables.” If you think this sounds hokey, chances are you would really benefit from trying it.

I will let you know how it goes for C. I really hope C soon stands for “confident” instead of “confused”.

Do you think it’s possible to be too easy on yourself? How do you strike the balance between self-critical and self-control?

Are you an underachiever?

I know, here we are not even a week into this full-of-potential New Year and I come out with a bummer title like that. I’m not here to burst your motivated bubble; my intentions are good. You see, I was in a session on Monday with a client I’ve known for some time. We were setting goals for the year ahead and I was reviewing her food journal. This client is an exercise hater but we’ve made progress in that department. She has worked out with a trainer and managed to get into a routine where she does something about 3 days a week. As I looked over her exercise total,  I saw that she had done 2 25-minute workouts and one for 30 minutes. Few would argue that this is better than nothing.  I looked asked my client if 35 could be the new 25? She said, “it probably could, I just get to 25 minutes and feel I’ve done enough, I have the time though.”

You may call it settling into a routine but I think there are places for all of us where we consistently underachieve. There are certain yoga poses I just don’t do. Some of them I am incapable of going into without serious bodily harm. Others, I don’t do because I never do them. Occasionally I attempt a non-Lauren pose and I am surprised.  Aside from fitness, this same mentality apply to eating. How often you resort to take out when you have ingredients at home you could technically cook? Or do you have a snack after dinner simply because you always have a snack after dinner? Maybe you’re not hungry on a particular day; if you’re on autopilot you may not even notice this.

So while we’re setting lofty goals (did I really say I was writing a book?), think of the details too. Take a minute to file the papers on your desk rather than shuffling them or bring your lunch to work when there are leftovers, stretch after your run, you get it. There’s a difference between cutting yourself a break here and there and consistently copping out. OK having said all this, I should probably start to file and run more than a few miles at a time.

What areas do you see yourself underachieving? Would you call it underachieving?

Will I ever be able to do a headstand in yoga class?

In Defense of Resolutions

I feel badly for resolutions. It seems there’s a counter-resolution movement going on. Members of this movement claim resolutions don’t work, people set unrealistic resolutions and that by February any resolutions made on New Years have fizzled along with the champagne. Well I have a confession, I like resolutions. I like the burst of motivation and the desire to change that comes with the New Year. I make resolutions and encourage my clients to make them too. And even if resolutions don’t last 12 months, perhaps the key isn’t to stop making resolutions but to make them continually throughout the year. Setting a goal is powerful and sometimes it’s figuring out why it didn’t pan or fine-tuning your original goal that’s most enlightening.

First, take stock of the year that’s ending
I’ll admit,this tip is not entirely mine. I read on Alicia Silverstone's, author of The Kind Diet, site that she and her husband write about the year that’s coming to a close and all that has happened. I like the idea and would tweak it a bit. As the year comes to a close note your victories from the past year. You can pinpoint anything but I, of course, suggest incorporating something about your fitness and nutrition. Did you try any new sports or workouts? Did you cook more or decrease anything unhealthy in your routine? Or, did you feel less guilt when you ate a treat or skipped a workout. I am a big believer in noting your victories and commending positive action. You will need this ability as you make your road map for 2010.

For example, this past year I wiped artificial sweetener out of my house, cooked significantly more,ran my first race in a while (even though it was a 10K) and started yoga and snowshoeing. It took a while for me to make this list so give yourself a day or 2 for items to come to mind for your victory list.

Next, make resolutions (plural)
Some may think making a resolution means narrowing yourself down to 1 goal, I say dream big and make a list of resolutions. Think of this as a to-do list of sorts. When you make a to-do list you don’t tick every item off every day. There are some items you immediately tackle and others that may remain on the list for a while. I like the list of resolutions because you can address different areas of your life. Also, at different times of the year you can focus on different areas. This will give your resolution more longevity. A word of caution, try to avoid items such as “lose weight” or “be more fit”. To me, those are results and I would encourage trying to tap into how you will lose weight, the support behaviors. If your goal is to shed some lbs, you may concentrate on purchasing more produce, being more mindful of portions or eating 1 meal a day grain free (these are just examples).

In 2010 I hope to:
• Run Chicago Marathon in October
• Visit the farmers market more and more farmers market
• Continue with yoga, though I am intimidated
• Read more for pleasure
• Learn more about tea
• Be more patient

Monthly Review
I’ll agree with the cynics, for every person strong out of the gate on January 1st there’s almost as many hitting a roadblock in February. Let’s plan for this. Set a reminder in your blackberry or iphone for February 1st entitled “review resolutions.” Take your list out a read it over. Do you want to adjust anything? Maybe you planned to work out daily and you now feel more confident about 4 workouts a week. Or maybe you wanted to skip the alcohol for January and the superbowl got in your way. This is all ok. The only mistake is jumping ship and abandoning your list. Again, ask yourself what the month’s victories were, you are trying to gather all those victories for December 2010. I find the greatest skill with wellness is the ability to regroup.

So…anyone from the counter-resolution movement ready to convert? I'll check back with you on 2/1/10.

What are your victories from this past year and what’s are your resolutions? I’d love to know.