Would you tell someone they’re overweight?

Last week, I was bargaining with myself to get on the treadmill. I was sick of my playlists and glanced at my podcast roster. I saw a Dear Sugar podcast on body image. It was 40-something minutes on what sounded like a juicy topic. I chose this over Adele for the thousandth time. If you’re unfamiliar with Dear Sugar, it’s Cheryl Strayed (author of Wild and my favorite BraveEnough). Cheryl and her podcast partner Steve Almond (best last name ever) tackle all things interpersonal and touchy. If you’re not familiar with podcasts, I’d resolve to change that this year.

This podcast was called “The Weight of Love”. Cheryl opened by sharing about her own weight fluctuations. She admitted she felt better when her weight was toward the low end of her range but appreciated that her husband told her she was beautiful regardless of her weight.

I’m summarizing as the podcast really focused on two letters written by listeners. The first letter writer was a guy in his twenties. This guy was in a relationship with a “terrific woman”. He said she was a little overweight and this was an issue for him. He deliberated whether or not to say something. He ended up saying something in a casual, less than sensitive, way and “she didn’t take it well.” Cheryl reacted strongly, she didn’t feel he should’ve said anything and even suggested he break up with her if size mattered. Steve asked Cheryl if withholding his opinion was honest. My view is our words need to be chosen very carefully in these situations; however, they’re legit and shouldn’t be closeted.  

I’ve written before about a conversation I had with Marc. I was writing about couples and weight and said “if I gained 100 pounds would you still be attracted to me” or something like that. He, never one to be politically correct, said “no”. As we talked, he said that being active and in shape was a big part of our relationship.  I totally get that even if it’s not what I’d like him to think. And I think Cheryl’s advice for this young man is what she’d like men to think. While it’s nice to imagine our partners love us 100% as is, if you are in a relationship there are changes you’d like to see, whether they are physical or no.t As I discussed Monday, I’m pro change.

Why should we be open with conversations about sex, money, in-laws and children but bite our tongues about weight?. Our weight affects our confidence which affects how we interact with others and especially how you feel in an intimate relationship. There’s a shift in the ethos; it’s taboo to focus on weight. I was castigated in certain circles for the title The Little Book of Thin. The Little Book of Wellness would’ve been OK. I’m the last person to rank size above other, more meaningful topics like health and gratitude but it’s part of the picture and shouldn’t be ignored.

What advice would you give the letter writer? Would you talk to a partner about weight or be ok if they brought it up to you? And what are your favorite workout songs or podcasts?

If the Halloween candy "called" you, here's why

 Via Vo/shutter stock

There’s a definite pattern when it comes to adults and Halloween candy. Many adults resist candy on Halloween. Then, the next day if it’s in the house or at the office they start to pick. “Just a couple” pieces here, a couple there. The same thing goes for Thanksgiving. Day of, many clients are on plan. The next day? The leftovers take them down.

Why is this? Many people make a decision, ahead of time, not to eat candy on Halloween or not to eat the 5,000 calorie meal on Thanksgiving. It’s clear what the plan is for the holiday itself. The day after? There’s no plan for that and so deliberation begins. “Should I have it?”  and this line of questioning rarely ends well.

I read a thought-provoking Vox article, “the myth of self-control”. The first portion of the article is a little depressing as the case is made that it’s super tricky to pass things up. “Human beings are terrible at resisting temptation.” Then came the  interesting part. “The people who are really good at self-control never have these battles in first place.” It’s not that some people have more willpower, it’s that some people avoid having to exert it.

If you want to avoid the exhaustion that comes with fending food (or other temptations for that matter) off some ideas:

Planning

I talk about this throughout The Little Book of Thin. The fewer food decisions you make on the spot, the better. When you’re staring face to face with the muffin tray and negotiating, your odds are slim. A Foodstalking client has a coworker with a candy bowl or “bowl of bullshit” as she calls it. The bowl was her downfall every afternoon. “One or two things only” wasn’t cutting it. Instead she called out of B.O. B. and put it on her “no” list. No piece here or piece there, no contemplating no bullshit…period.

Reminders and reinforcement

 In research mentioned in the article, people were texted reminders of their goals to help them make good choices. A couple of years ago, we started our Foodstalking program. We were astounded by the success and demand for spots. In this email-based program, we are in touch with clients daily. This encouragement and accountability helps establish new behaviors. Having a buddy is another way of doing this. Enlist a friend or coworker (spouses aren’t best idea for this) and work together to skip the candy, make it to your workouts etc.

Substitution

 “No candy” for some sounds daunting. In order to avoid the bowl of bullshit, my client has an RX Bar at 3pm every day. You can replace a food with a food or it can be a behavior. Taking a walk after dinner or meeting a friend for a workout instead of a drink are other examples of substitution.

So don’t beat yourself up for a slip. Instead, backtrack and see where you could’ve avoided that temptation all together. I’ll remind you about this  again before Thanksgiving and leftovers come into play.

New Years Resolutions: Oprah, “Healhy-ish” etc.

We are all hypocrites. I realize that’s not the most motivational sentence to start the year but it’s true. My ears perked up with I heard Oprah’s soothing voice seemingly honestly recounting her weight struggles. “You look in mirror and you don’t even recognize yourself”. The press said that people were in tears over this narrative. In another TV spot she says, and I paraphrase, it’s not about a pair of pants but I want my best body (I’m confused, doesn’t the “best body” feel good in our pants?). I love O but she alludes to weight being about underlying issues and then the Weight Watcher’s logo pops up. Weight Watchers is about counting and points.  And if we’re talking numbers let’s just say that Oprah's "numbers" or should I say bottom line improved from this deal (and stock purchase)*

Then there’s Bon Appetit’s pretty January “healthy-ish” cover. Props to Bon Appetit for their health-conscious issue but “healthy-ish” reminds me of my most hated wellness phrase “everything in moderation.”  Why the euphemism? Is it that healthy sounds dreadful but “healthy-ish” is OK? It reminds me of when my book came out and people didn’t like word thin.  Sites and platforms that clearly appeal to women who wanted to be thin didn’t want to say “thin”.  For them healthy was ok. Not us, at Foodtrainers we’ll go out and say it –thin, healthy it’s all cool. 

Just when I thought I had escaped the healthy hypocrisy, I read the Sunday paper. There was an article about spanx and the popularity of these garments. Nothing wrong with spanx but I personally allied myself with Liz Lange who just can’t or doesn’t want to spanx. My two spanx-y experiences are 1) thinking I had a major GI issue and then realizing my digestion/wellbeing were being compromised by the contraption under my gown and 2) I was sent a “yummy tummy” and literally got stuck in it. Was my tummy too “yummy”?  Either way, I thought there’s nothing worth being uncomfortable for.

But soon after reading the paper I got dressed. You know what my reasoning was for choosing my skinny jeans and form-fitting turtleneck (usual ultra-glam Sunday uniform is hoodie/ loose jeans/uggs)? I donned those jeans because I found that I had a couple lbs “leftover” from a week of skiing (more like ski-eating). I wanted to wear an outfit to remind myself of that.  So I guess I’m a hypocrite just like you, sigh.

It’s a new year, maybe we’ll changein 2016.  Anyway, this year I’m looking forward to banglessness, writing and our Whipping Weeks (week 1 started today). And yes, these  “healthy” weeks will make your pants feel better.

Any resolutions? What did you think of the Oprah ads? And what about the word healthy-ish?
*please note that I initially cited the incorrect figures for Oprah's deal with Weight Watchers. This doesn't really change my thoughts and feelings about things but I apologize for my error.

How Harper's Bazaar and Chloe's fashion director can improve your food day

There are certain magazine features I always enjoy. I’ve written about Us Weekly’s “What’s inyour bag”? but also make sure to read Bazaar’s “My List” where a designer or fashion VIP lists what happens in a typical day. Different from the gum and mints in US Weekly’s purse feature, these days discussed in Bazaar are super snooty. There’s always a little something international “calls with the Paris team” or “preparing for fashion week in” (insert amazing city). For about 30 seconds I feel boring and inferior in comparison (we all compare) but I push through this and read on. I focus on the meals or non-meals  mentioned. I think I'd rather know mundane details about someone's day than something scandalous.

The most recent “List” featured Clare Waight Keller. I had never heard of Clare (fashion director at Chloe) before reading about her 24 hours. So Clare, she has been known to step on her dog when she first wakes up. Before you feel badly for the dog rest assured he gets blowouts. I’m not sure why I wanted to know more but I did. We must not assume children in Paris eat better, Clare's children (twins “and a little one called Harrison”) have “pain au chocolat or a baguette with Nutella, or they might go for a peanut butter sandwich or cereal”. Back to Clare, her exercise includes walking her son (the one called Harrison) to school and “playing tennis in the woods on Saturdays.” She plays tennis in the woods “come rain, snow or anything” not sure if that makes her sound committed or silly (tennis in the snow?).

Clare doesn’t check email until 8am (no email in the kitchen) and follows fashion people “and a few surfers” on Instagram. Sure, I get the fashion/surfing connection…

I learn that they’re “launching” new fragrances at Chloe; I contemplate whether “launch” is a word I now hate but then I see something I really like love about Clare.

this circle is tough to read, happy to discover printed normally in the link/online

1:00 P.M. We're in France, so lunch is at one o'clock on the dot. Everybody vanishes and you cannot get a hold of anyone. Sometimes I eat with friends at a restaurant called Market, with colleagues in the office, or at my desk. I have something light, local, and organic—mostly salad.

Did you hear that? Everybody vanishes for lunch. They aren’t at their desk eating sad desk lunches or skipping THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY, they are having lunch or maybe “dunch” as I call it in Little Book of Thin (although a light, salad is not exactly dunch or the ideal lunch).

So, this week (regardless of the impending blizzard) focus on lunch. A solid lunch really sets you up for the rest of the day. As for the rest of Clare’s day? Even the most amazing blowout wouldn’t make it ok for you to step on me.

Why do you think we (I’m including you, I can’t be the only one) like reading about people’s day? Do you make lunch a priority? Do you read or watch anything that makes you feel your life is boring because you aren’t launching anything?

Happy New Year, here's what I suggest

Wow, a year ago today the Little Book of Thin was released. I was holed up in my apartment reviewing and reviewing for a Today show segment. I wasn’t thinking resolutions. Yesterday I was pretty free and spent some time reading resolution advice. Time magazine suggested resolutions work better when you “fork over cash”.  The Daily Good referenced Seinfeld’s comedy writing and suggested picking something you can do every day and to focus on the doing versus the results (liked that). Anyway you frame it though, the resolution success rates (under 10%) are almost as grim as weight loss statistics. “Nobody keeps their resolutions, nobody loses weight long-term". In 2014, I would’ve said those comments make me want to punch the doubters in the face but since it’s the first day of the year (and one of my personal goals is calmness) instead I’ll just say let’s prove those pessimists wrong.

What I know for sure in this department:

A year is a long time- start with a January commitment. I know, I know you’re super motivated and want to put the "holiday heft" behind you right away but commit for January and then reassess, even switch the goal. 

Track- there is a whole movement called The Quantified Self which can get a little carried away (sensors in our mattresses, really?) but there is a value to tracking and gathering data about yourself. First, activity trackers like my beloved Fitbit take little to no effort on your part in order to track your activity or water drinking. And just the act of tracking has a positive influence on your behavior. Psych people- isn’t this called the Hawthorne Effect? This is provided you’re not too judgy with yourself.. Keeping a food journal is another easy way to improve your behaviors. I think this is why people like our Foodstalking program.

Cooking- if you really want to make changes with your health and your weight, you need to cook. You don’t need to be a chef, you don’t need lots of equipment but you need to scramble eggs or roast vegetables or just take pride in buying the best ingredients you can. This connects you to your food and let’s you control what goes in your body. I was watching a show last night Booze Traveler (not very resolutiony but I’m obsessed) and the host joked “this batch tastes better because I helped prepare it". Can you make your lunch once a week? Or even cut vegetables up on Sunday for the week?  In LBT I suggest making a green, a grain and a main (protein) if you really want to set yourself up for the week.

Repetition works. My most successful clients have “anchor” behaviors that they do over and over. These habits breed confidence and also don’t require much deliberation. If we’re talking cooking, boil half a dozen eggs or roast Brussels sprouts once a week. Maybe there are one or two breakfasts you stick to like glue. And if you’re thinking that sounds boring? I only suggested a January pledge, for Feb you can switch it up.

If you’re on the fence about making changes. I loved this comment on a post earlier this week. This was from Andrew of the Wellness Notes blog

Whenever I gain some weight, I know that something is "going on" in my life. It's always a reflection of something being slightly off. So, no, I am never truly okay or happy when I'm heavier because it's actually a reflection of the other "stuff" that's going on.

And two other notes

First, stay tuned for information in our Monday newsletter on our Whipping Week. One week, super strict, kinda fun. Many of us need a nutritional whipping.

And second, I’m starting to write the proposal for book #2. I picked up Frank Lipman’s new book The New Health Rules (quick healthy snippets)  and “Do Something You Love for at Least 10 Minutes a Day” stuck with me. I love writing…so we’ll see.

Happy New Year to you. There are times when I feel “should I blog?” Or I feel guilty that I don’t give the blog as much attention as I used to but your comments and feedback are so interesting to me.

What do you think about resolutions? Are you a tracker? Do you cook? What do you love to do?

What's with all the Bulletproof haters?

I use less butter and less oil (coconut for me) than "suggested"

I posted about Bulletproof coffee in 2013. As a coffee lover fanatic, I was intrigued by this new coffee concept and loved the taste of Bulletproof (coffee blended with grass-fed butter and oil) coffee. Since then Bulletproof coffee and the Bulletproof diet have taken off.  Even the New York Times covered it recently. But you know what happens? With coverage come the haters. Even the nutritionist in the Times article said, “this is not the breakfast of champions.” I’m curious what she thinks is because this concoction makes me feel pretty well…bulletproof.

A friend posted the Times article and there were the skeptics who couldn’t imagine butter in their coffee. I get that, it sounds weird. What I don’t get is the fury that Dave Asprey was not a nutritionist (if that’s the criteria then ignore 75% of the diet information you read) and that he sells products. If you were on board with Bulletproof,  wouldn’t you want the exact items Asprey writes about? “Expensive products” people clarify as if Soul Cycle or green juices are cheap.

It wasn’t until yesterday, when I saw this article (posted by the same Facebook friend) that I realized something about this concept really polarizes people. This writer takes issue with Asprey’s claims that he has “unlocked the answer”  (want to read a book where someone starts with "I don't know the answer"?) and dismisses the concept as a “fad diet”. She points out he references animal studies. I'm sorry, find me any nutrition book that doesn't cite rodent studies...we are not that different from these creatures, sorry to say. But when I thought about where this hate could be coming from I think it’s the fact that Asprey is in favor of (good) fats and using a whole lot of them (more than I suggest using). With the legacy of fat phobia, this is far more than a fad. It’s saying that the very way many Americans structure their diet is dead wrong.

I read everything that comes my way and most of it starts to blur. There were explanations and points made in this book I had never heard. A bit about Asprey, he comes from a technology background and was an experienced and unsuccessful dieter. He used what he calls “bio hacking” which apparently is a thing (though a new one to me) to “hack” his body the way techies might a computer, to find the secrets. And yes, my first thought was who’s to say what works for Asprey will work for us? As I read further I had a list of points that couldn’t hurt to try.

I also couldn’t help but see an overlap in some of the ideas in The Little Book of Thin.

Asprey advocates carbs (and only certain carbs) consumed at night versus earlier in the day and takes an even harsher stance on fruit than I do.  Asprey wonders why we lump “fruit and vegetables” together.  I’m curious to look into a mechanism I hadn’t heard that fruit can decrease leptin transport (leptin is the hormone that makes us feel we’ve had enough to eat).  

Asprey also has some interesting points on sleep. He suggests taking both omega 3’s and vitamin D at night to help with sleep. He also feels sleep is more important than exercise, important to keep in mind if you’re chronically choosing the gym over the extra rest. On exercise, Asprey a veteran of 90-minute workouts isn’t buying the “more is better” exercise messaging. He believes in well spaced, intense workouts and my favorite quote, “go for a walk but don’t fool yourself into thinking you exercised when all you did was walk.”

Aside from the coffee (and there’s great info about certain types of coffee being less moldy and  healthier), my favorite part of this regime is that there is equal emphasis on how you feel as there is on what you weigh. Feeling vibrant, invincible and productive…or “bulletproof” is something to aspire to….unless hating is your thing.

Have you tried Bulletproof coffee? Like it? Have you read Dave Asprey’s book or listened to the podcasts? Are you intrigued or not buying it?

Need to look better ASAP? Try this recipe

 

I don’t know about you but about this time every summer I start to feel like a before picture. You know what I mean, in all those fitness makeovers there’s the mushy, slouched “before” and then the lean and proud after? There are just so many restaurant meals and glasses of rose this rigid structured nutritionist can take before she cries uncle. If that makes me a killjoy, I'm sorry. But I’m guessing I’m not alone.

Where there are issues there are solutions and I have the answer to your debloating dreams. Carolyn and I posted a video featuring advice from the Little Book of Thin’s Drastic chapter.  So sad we couldn’t use the actual scary Jaws music but it’s still a fin watch.

In the video we featured this Drastic Salad with avocado dressing. It’s delicious enough to serve to houseguests but there is strategy at work with these ingredients. Try it and let's all be "afters" before Labor Day.
Do you find is easier or harder to eat well in the summer? What do you do when you want to feel better fast? Have you tried this salad?

Top 5 Healthy Shots with the Daily Shot and a bonus

I had no success with a screen shot, clearly oh well.

“I look good, I look good, I look exactly the way you wish you could.” Do you think I’ve lost my mind with this sudden burst of confidence? Sorry, I just can’t get the music from The Daily Shot out of my head and if you watch their segments you will know exactly what I mean.  Clients and friends have been asking, “are you having fun with the book stuff? While I will go to all ends of the earth for LBT (I mean I went to Jericho, Long Island in the rain this past weekend) but fun? It’s work except for this segment on healthyshots.

I really think shots are the new vitamins. Rather than mindlessly downing a handful of pills, I favor more of an a la carte, issue specific, approach.Ali Wentworth was so funny during the segment but before we started she was welcoming and sweet. When we arrived she was curled up in the green room reading the book. Her greeting was perfect “I have a ton of questions for you but I really want to ask only the ones that pertain to me”. Don’t we all?

I couldn’t name names for the 5 shots during the segment but here’s more information:

Sea Buckthorn- we used Sibu, sea buckthorn puree. I’vediscussed sea buckthorn before but I am thrilled with this unsweetened versionSibu now has (11 calories an oz., 1 g sugar).

Astragalus- I like a brand called Fushi. A little worried I handed my bottle over to my publicist when her daughter was sick, a winter necessity.

Aloe- if you’ve tried aloe and have been repulsed by the taste, try George’s brand. Part of me worries that without the taste it’s not working but this does.

Turmeric- we used a shot from one of my favorite, juice shops Organic Avenue. I’m also fond of the Turmeric Elixirs.

E3Live- we go way back with E3, an energy boosting necessity you’ll find it in the frozen section of health food stores.

At the end of this segment Ali asks about something for nausea. She was kidding but Snack Queen and I had these with our lunch yesterday. Ginger + probiotic.

Are you more vitamin or shot oriented? If you’re vitamin averse would you be more inclined to do a shot? Are we immature (or Tulanians) or is there not something fun about pulling out the shot glasses during the day?