New Years Resolutions: Oprah, “Healhy-ish” etc.

We are all hypocrites. I realize that’s not the most motivational sentence to start the year but it’s true. My ears perked up with I heard Oprah’s soothing voice seemingly honestly recounting her weight struggles. “You look in mirror and you don’t even recognize yourself”. The press said that people were in tears over this narrative. In another TV spot she says, and I paraphrase, it’s not about a pair of pants but I want my best body (I’m confused, doesn’t the “best body” feel good in our pants?). I love O but she alludes to weight being about underlying issues and then the Weight Watcher’s logo pops up. Weight Watchers is about counting and points.  And if we’re talking numbers let’s just say that Oprah's "numbers" or should I say bottom line improved from this deal (and stock purchase)*

Then there’s Bon Appetit’s pretty January “healthy-ish” cover. Props to Bon Appetit for their health-conscious issue but “healthy-ish” reminds me of my most hated wellness phrase “everything in moderation.”  Why the euphemism? Is it that healthy sounds dreadful but “healthy-ish” is OK? It reminds me of when my book came out and people didn’t like word thin.  Sites and platforms that clearly appeal to women who wanted to be thin didn’t want to say “thin”.  For them healthy was ok. Not us, at Foodtrainers we’ll go out and say it –thin, healthy it’s all cool. 

Just when I thought I had escaped the healthy hypocrisy, I read the Sunday paper. There was an article about spanx and the popularity of these garments. Nothing wrong with spanx but I personally allied myself with Liz Lange who just can’t or doesn’t want to spanx. My two spanx-y experiences are 1) thinking I had a major GI issue and then realizing my digestion/wellbeing were being compromised by the contraption under my gown and 2) I was sent a “yummy tummy” and literally got stuck in it. Was my tummy too “yummy”?  Either way, I thought there’s nothing worth being uncomfortable for.

But soon after reading the paper I got dressed. You know what my reasoning was for choosing my skinny jeans and form-fitting turtleneck (usual ultra-glam Sunday uniform is hoodie/ loose jeans/uggs)? I donned those jeans because I found that I had a couple lbs “leftover” from a week of skiing (more like ski-eating). I wanted to wear an outfit to remind myself of that.  So I guess I’m a hypocrite just like you, sigh.

It’s a new year, maybe we’ll changein 2016.  Anyway, this year I’m looking forward to banglessness, writing and our Whipping Weeks (week 1 started today). And yes, these  “healthy” weeks will make your pants feel better.

Any resolutions? What did you think of the Oprah ads? And what about the word healthy-ish?
*please note that I initially cited the incorrect figures for Oprah's deal with Weight Watchers. This doesn't really change my thoughts and feelings about things but I apologize for my error.

Does “you look healthy” really mean fat?

Earlier this week our team was in a business meeting. The discussion turned to image and how people judge you based on that, it was fairly benign. Then, the person we were talking to mentioned a nutrition colleague of ours and stated “she looks too thin. You guys, on the other hand, look healthy.” I couldn’t resist “so you’re saying we look fat?”

Trust me, I have no desire to look too thin, that’s not the goal. And too thin for women over 35 equals more wrinkly. But I like thin (even like the word thin thus The Little Book of Thin even though some do not). The person went on to clarify that we look like we eat healthfully (I like that). She was lumping us into one category and I know One Smart Brownie and Snack Queen look great…so why then does that type of comment sit the wrong way? I started to feel nuts that this lingered in my head so I emailed Carolyn expecting her to quell my mental spiral and she said “funny I’ve been thinking about that too.”

I think this goes to show you that, even for nutritionists, weight is a touchy subject and comparisons probably not a good idea even if they aren’t mean-spirited.

What you do thin of this exchange? Would it have sat the wrong way with you? Is there a right way to comment on someone's weight? Or is it a subject best avoided?

I Call it Thin, You Call it Strong, She Calls it Healthy but It's All in the Approach

I was so honored the fantastic site Well and Good named LBT “One of the 6 New Healthy Food Books That Don’t Promote Fad Diets”The write up is great saying, “her tips are relevant, actionable, and easy to implement and she delivers tools to help you use them, like checklists, recipes, and side notes on "how to boil the perfect egg. (It's hard, right??)” But there was this “its name may suggest an obsession with getting thin (strong is the new skinny!), but don't let the title fool you.”

Really? Does the word thin suggest obsessiveness? If the title had been “Get Thin or Be Miserable” I’d understand some implied negativity.  When I ask clients for their goals the words healthy, thin, fit, confident and yes even…skinny (don’t mind that one either) come up most often. Many LBT readers and Foodtrainers’ clients know that part of the weight or size puzzle is that it takes planning and strategy even to maintain your weight and this strategy needs to change with age. But whether we’re talking thin, skinny or strong it’s really all in the approach.

The same day as the Well and Good list, my friend Aidan posted a great recap of our Happier Hour discussion appropriately titled Thin is Not A Dirty Word and 9 other Lauren Lessons.

But that would not be the final word on thin, this comment was posted:

I have to say that I think our culture is too focused on being thin. I agree that thin and healthy can coexist (for some) but I argue that the focus needs to shift to being healthy and the byproduct will be reaching our “healthy” body weight. My health (and appearance) improved tremendously when I started to focus on getting more of the good stuff (nutrient dense foods) into my body. I have educated myself on what is good for me – eating colorful plant based foods and a moderate amount of healthy proteins, drinking lots of water, and getting adequate sleep and moderate amounts of exercises that I enjoy. I choose this approach because it’s about adding good stuff not depriving myself of the bad stuff. I guess I prefer to focus on the positive…what I can “gain” from being healthy (energy, glowing skin, longevity and vitality) not what I can loose on the scale.

While I’ll agree that we care about weight and appearance a little too much, the solution is to provide healthy strategies to approach food and exercise rather than pretending we only care about being healthy (or strong). The truth is, even this commenter acknowledged a change in her appearance so even if she’s anti scale she’s conscious of her looks too, we all are.

I also agree with the reader’s proactive steps and “additive” approach. My days are spent cheerleading for my clients. It would be so pathetic if my professional training resulted in helping people lose 5 pounds. There are so many “bigger” things that stem from taking control of your nutrition and the confidence that comes with it.  In the Little Book of Thin, I discuss how we can end food guilt, applaud ourselves for the effort cooking and “planning” takes and feel our best. Is that “obsessive”?

The irony is that I obsess over my body and weight when I eat the wrong foods. When my clothes feel good, when I’m eating foods that agree with my body and yes, when I feel thin I am not obsessed or overthinking any of it. Let’s not get stuck on a word or try to deny we care about our appearance. Instead let’s direct our energy toward whatever self-improvement means to each of us, spread positivity and eat the most delicious food possible. Deal?  

Do you thin is off putting? Or do you think it's semantics/splitting hairs? What are the adjectives you'd use to describe how you'd like your body to feel or look? 

What "you're perfect just the way you are" really means.

This blog was a big part of what prompted me to write a book and here I am focused on getting LBT out there neglecting my blog, what does that make me? I’ll be back to regular posting soon but one of my favorite things about blogging is when I come across something that compels me to post. These items never make it into my “blog topics” file. This morning I was doing my social media browsing and a friend posted the cover of my book “The Little Book of Thin” and mentioned she had enjoyed it so much she re-read it-nice. This friend is thin and beautiful as many of my clients and readers are. It was two comments below her post made me pause and I’ll try to paraphrase as my intention isn’t to call anyone out (directly).

The first basically said, “wait a minute- you’re already thin".  I think this is interesting and brings up the question of why we read diet or nutrition books. To this commenter I would say feeling good isn’t just about size. It never feels good to come home at the end of the day and order in because you haven’t food shopped, it doesn’t feel good when you’re bloated or knowing you have foods and ingredients you’re regularly eating that are probably harming way more than your weight.

And the second comment stated that the poster was perfect as is ok I’m going to quote “For what it is worth, you are beautiful inside and out. Just the way you are.” This type of statement isn’t as straightforward as it seems. It’s one thing to point out someone looks great, a compliment is always welcome. The message here is you don’t need to do anything and it strikes me as a little judgy. If I read a novel and post that I enjoyed it are you going to tell me “you don’t need to read that you’re smart already”. No, there’s the sense that learning has its merit. So why then is it wrong to read and learn about nutrition? It isn’t but I just had to say so.

What do you think about these two comments? Is reading about food and nutrition all about weight? And even if it is, anything wrong with wanting to drop a couple pounds even if you appear thin? And “perfect just the way you are” is that purely nice or a little more involved?”

Thinism

“You’re so fat, you must eat a lot.” Are you cringing? You might be because nobody with a speck of sensitivity would every utter those words. On Friday I read a post on Erica Sara’s blog that got me thinking. Erica wrote about a recent experience that was rather hurtful. Someone said something to her about her eating and her size. This person didn’t know Erica personally. They didn’t know about Erica’s marathon running or her cooking. They didn’t know that she practices yoga. They probably didn’t know how much their words would sting. They might have thought the rules were different because Erica is a thin person.  Somehow, “you’re so thin, you must not eat” is acceptable. Why is this?

I see nutrition clients all week long at my NYC office. Oftentimes, in initial sessions with new clients I’ll hear “you don’t have to think about this because you’re thin.” Or “it must be nice you don’t have to workout.” Or my favorite, similar to Erica’s experience “do you eat?” I know full well these clients wouldn’t probe similarly with a doctor or therapist or other professional who was heavy. Over the years, I have grown thick-skinned to these types of questions. I used to feel embarrassed and utter some incoherent, self-deprecating reply. Now, I generally say something like “I practice what I preach” or “I work hard to stay in shape” which generally reassures them.  I am less offended by comments about my size than the insinuation that there’s no work involved. I think there’s a way to be curious about someone’s size without being critical. “What do you do for exercise?” Or, “do you watch what you eat?” are better ways of saying the same thing.

It’s unfortunate but we all size people up. We look. We look when someone’s very heavy and we look when they’re too bony and we look at people somewhere in the middle. I know full well from what I do that you can’t judge someone’s success or peace of mind by their weight and that feeling good in your skin doesn’t have a size. I also feel it’s probably harder to walk in an obese person’s shoes than in my shoes. Overweight people are the subject of more ridicule than thinner people.  I just don’t think it’s ok to be mean.

Why do you think sizist comments are more acceptable when the recipient is thin? Why do you think people make comments like the one that hurt Erica? Has anyone said anything inappropriate to you about your size? Is it ever appropriate to say anything?

P.S. Not only was Erica the author of our Pot of the Week post, she makes amazing jewelry including my “race bling” marathon necklace.